i think more than environment..it is how YOU handle it

yankee42 · October 2008

in regards to lucy, then takyelgif's posts..

i think the "difficulty" in raising babies may just be seen different to some of us, because of our personalities and what we have been through to have these babies..

i guarantee that someone else would view my babies as difficult..MIL when she has watched them before has said "i don't know how you do it with the both of them". they have been through reflux, food intolerance, tons of throw up, nights of screaming, constipation, they don't STTN, they are hard to get to nap....

but to me they are still easy, happy babies..they really are super super happy when they don't NEED (food or sleep) something or are in pain from gas.

we do have a nice environment..but i won't say DH and I don't raise our voices or anything..it does get stressful around here at times, and he is definitely not 50/50 when it comes to taking care of the boys..not that he doesn't love them a ton and help out when he is home and awake, but he hasn't helped over night since the first night home..he's just not cut out for it, and i am..no biggie

regardless of all of this..my boys are very happy, loving, sweet boys..

but if someone who didn't adore them had to take care of them for a day, they would say they were difficult, i am sure of it.

we just see things differently, and lucy i think you are right..wanting a child like we do..we know what we are getting into, and are prepared to deal with anything..we see it all as a blessing

?

weemodin · October 2008

See, I think my two might just be easy babies, though. I'm not a particularly calm or serene person, and neither is DH.

And, my nanny even comments that handling my two together is easier than handling her younger daughter alone ever was.

In my case, I give all the credit to my kids

TakYelgif · October 2008

I do think there are easy babies though, I have had several people including the daycare workers comment on how Fenton isn't demanding at all. As long as he is fed changed and given attention he is not unhappy.

It may be how DH and I handle things and it may have to do with how hard it was to have Fenton but I also think that Fenton really is just an easy baby.

madhatter2003 · October 2008

I think it's both. There are definitely easier than average babies out there...but it's also always easier to care for your own than for other people's kids. I sometimes get really annoyed by other kids even now, but of course my DD is 'perfect' ;-)

yankee42 · October 2008

oh, i completely agree there are easy babies...and i think my babies are easy.?

i just think some of the people that say things like "oh, you don't know what you are getting into, babies are difficult" might have slightly less tolerance..like if they even had one of my babies, they might think "this is so hard"..but since we desired this so greatly.. even somewhat difficult babies might seem easier

Mrs.Reem · October 2008

There are very clearly babies who are content to lay around in their bouncer and look at things. They're chill and don't cry much. Then there are babies that are overstimulated very easily, need extra moms touch, etc. It's just the same as adults' personalities.

In the book the baby whisperer she details five (I think five) different baby personalities which is really helpful in understanding your particualar baby's needs.

I would say that I'm the most laid back person you'll meet. Things don't shake me and I'm calm when there's noise or an emergency. That said, my kid turned our world upside down with her high maintenance needs. I'll admit that I was very frustrated many times to the point of tears when she was little. I'm a good mom. I know how to parent. I understand my kids needs but its still difficult. Other people wouldn't even offer to babysit when my kiddo was little because she was always so inconsolable, so basically I was the only person who didn't turn heel and run away. I think that says something about how blessed I feel to have her. Some days that feeling was all that got me through the day though.

It's a conglomeration of things. Environment, personality (you and baby), hormone levels, emotional fortitude, I could go on and on.

Basically I agree. Everyone is different so their experiences will be different.

tina623 · October 2008

Karly is a very laid back baby. She doesn't cry, to puts herself to sleep and will sit in her bouncer for an hour or more while I take care of her sister. She has been like that since the day she was born. I even asked the pedi on the last day if there was something wrong with her. Katie on the other hand can be a nightmare to deal with. Katie has the worst temper, needs to be rocked to sleep and cries a lot. We are raising them both the same way and their behaviors are completely different. I treat them both in the same calm manner but dh and I have gotten in arguments before and are sometimes snappy with each other but we try to watch it because i believe it does have an impact later on.

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