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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
LilacStar11
member
When putting LO to sleep "drowsy"...
LilacStar11
member
At our 4 month check-up today, the doctor told me that I should no longer nurse her to sleep, that I should put her to bed drowsy. Easier said than done!!! We have been trying this unsuccessfully even before the appointment. When we do this, she just screams. I don't even leave the side of the cradle and she screams. After about 3 minutes, I pick her up and rock her or feed her if rocking and the paci don't cut it. After an hour of this, I nurse her to sleep.
If you do this, how do you handle it? Do you put LO down and walk right away? Do you sit there until they are asleep? How long do you let them cry?
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Re: When putting LO to sleep "drowsy"...
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
The most important thing about putting your baby down to nap where they fall asleep on their own, is that they are not overtired. An ideal length of awake time is the most important thing to ensure they are not overtired and can easily fall asleep.
How long is your LO awake before you try to put them down?
We do a combo of a few different things:
Put her in drowsy, turn on seahorse, give her thumb or paci and I walk away/leave the room. She will usually fuss for a few minutes, not full out crying, there's definitely a difference. Sometimes she will go to sleep other times she gets worked up, so I go in, pick her up and get her calm again. Then I lay her back in the crib and repeat. Usually she's down for good after 2 to 3 times of doing this. It's gotten better over time. From what I've read, it's important to stick to it and it may take a few nights for it to work.
Totally this! DS can't take more than an hour and 15 minutes or so before he starts getting overtired, and if he gets too tired he starts fighting it bad and the only way to get him to sleep is nursing him, and even that is a fight.
Ananke, good job Mama! A lot of moms do (unintentionally) allow their children to become overtired. Your DS's awake time sound perfect!
Wow, I had never heard that before. What is the ideal amount of time?
This time it was about 3 and a half hours. However that was 2 hours ago and she is beyond overtired now so I am just nursing her to sleep.
Yikes!! I am way off! She usually naps about 1hr 1/2 - 2 hrs after waking up, and then another nap 1 hr - 2 after that but then she goes for a few long stretches. Thanks for this!!
3.5 hrs between nap attempts is definitely a recipe for having an overtired baby. (If your baby does get overtired, it's worth seeing if they'll put themselves to sleep, which you've done, but if it doesn't work then definitely do whatever it takes to get them to sleep - i.e. nursing, which you are doing.)
First, here's a link to a post I wrote about sleeping, maybe it can help: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/29470977.aspx
In regards to the ideal awake time, it can be different for every baby, but here are two guidelines I've found to be quite accurate for my DD. Note that the first one was more accurate when DD was 0-5 months, and the second one was more accurate at 5+ months.
First Guideline for Awake time for babies
Newborn 50-60 mins
1 month 60 mins-hour and 15
2 months 1 hour and 15 - 20 mins
3 months 1 hour and 20 - 30 mins
4 months 1 hour and 45 - 2 hours
5 months 2 hours - 2.25 hours
Late 5 months/early 6 months 2.25-2.5 hours
6.5 - 7 months 2.75-3 hours. Some are getting more.
8 - 10 months 3 - 4 hours. Some are getting more.
11 - 12 months 3.5 -4.5 hours. Some are getting more if moved early to 1 nap
Second Guideline for Awake time for babies
0-4 weeks: 30-45 minutes
4-6 weeks: 40-60 minutes
6-8 weeks: 40-70 minutes
8-12 weeks: 50-80 minutes
3-4 months: 60-90 minutes
4-5 months: 1 hr to 1.5 hrs
5-6 months: 1.5 hours
6-9 months: 2 hours, give or take 15 minutes
For your little one of 4 months old, an ideal length is probably around 90 minutes or so. Don't forget that "awake time" includes all things "awake", like diaper changes, feeding, playing, and the amount of time it takes the baby to fall asleep! Also, typically it takes babies 20 minutes to fall asleep, so include this in your awake time (i.e. if their awake time is good at 90 minutes, but them down at 70 minutes). Here is a post about "optimal awake time": https://www.babywisemom.com/2008/07/optimal-waketime-lengths.html
If you are finding that your LO is still not falling asleep well or wakes after just 45 minutes from a nap, it might mean she is still overtired, and you can try decreasing the awake time length by 10-15 minutes. You might end up needing to actually increase her awake time length (i.e. to more than 90 minutes) but it's advised to try decreasing before increasing to help sleep problems.
Also, here's an index on a blog I look at a lot, with posts on sleep: https://www.babywisemom.com/2009/12/sleep-index.html
Hope these things help! Let me know if you have any more questions.
No problem at all! Yes, please let me know how it goes!!!
PS. None of this is my information, I'm just happy to pass along what I learned last year with DD.
It's my personal belief that whatever method I use to put DD to sleep for naps, I should to the same for bedtime / whatever method I use for bedtime, should be for naps as well. So I would definitely recommend allowing your daughter to fall asleep on her own for all naps / bedtime.
(I didn't mention before, but I also think it's a good thing for kids to fall asleep on their own where they will sleep. For example, if a mom is rocking her baby to sleep and then putting them in a crib, it's quite likely the baby will wake up and be scared / cry because they are in a different location than where they fell asleep.)
In regards to how to get her to sleep, without nursing to sleep, it'll probably take some time for you and her to get used to, since you've been doing it (I assume) all her life. I do think that having her not be overtired will definitely help her fall asleep without being nursed.
For us, when DD was 4 months old, we swaddled, used a fan for white noise, used a Fisher Price Aquarium for music (plays 18 minutes of music), gave her a lovey/stuffed animal and gave her a paci. Often, moms find that some combination of the above, and using a "wind down" routine help. Our wind down routine included turning off her lights, turning on the music, and changing her diaper. Other people might include reading a book or being cuddled for a few minutes, etc.
Also, a note about the "drowsy" part of this: For our DD, once she'd been awake for a specific awake time, she'd go to sleep easily even if she didn't actually look or seem tired or drowsy. Other babies might need to actually be drowsy before being put in their crib, it just didnt work like that for us.
Hope that helps!