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Trouble TTC
need to vent
I really needed somewhere to vent, and hopefully get some advice from other women who have been through the same thing.
I have a 2 year old son, I am incredibly lucky, he is wonderful. I breastfed him till he was 21 months. We had been trying to conceive since Sept 10. I know it wasn't happening because I was nursing. We finally weaned and I have been trying now for 4 months. In Dec I thought I misscarried but I went in for a blood test and it was negative.I had horrible symptoms with my period post wean: nausea, dizzyness, fatigue and uncontrollable emotions. These aren't normal menstral or pregnant symptoms. Then this month, Jan 11, I was bloated, tired and emotional.I thought for sure I was pregnant. A friend who tried for a year just got pregnant and I thought for sure I was too. I know i haven't been at it that long but today when I got my period again I felt like I wanted to die right then.I am a total and complete wreck. I don't even know what to do with myself. I am mad that I won't ever conceive. I am frustrated that I might have one more month to try because I hate the idea of having a childs birthday around the holidays, it just isn't fair to them. My son is Jan and it's like he is totally forgotten by relatives. I have no support system and my husband has no idea what to do or say. The only thing I can think of is to email my Dr. and hope she has some magic answer for me other than I am crazy and overemotional and need to get over it and try again.
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Re: need to vent
I think Papps is right, it sounds like it would help to talk to a therapist about some of these feelings, especially since you have a little one running around that needs you to be present for him and engaged.
As for the getting pregnant part, my advice would be to try to get to know your body a little more. If are just having sex and crossing your fingers, that may work, but it's extremely helpful to get to know your cycles. I would go to fertilityfriend.com and try charting and using opks to see if/when you are ovulating. It could be your body is just getting back to normal after breastfeeding, it could be that your timing is off, it could be so many things. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is also a great book to pick up to learn more about what's going on. And then when you call your doctor, at least you will be armed with some info to give him/her. Good luck to you.