Someone tell me that he's my child therefore it's my choice

Shortycube · January 2011

I shouldn't have to defend my choices to anyone, right? Dh an I plan to avoid giving monster sugar (ie: cake, candy, ice cream - that sort of stuff) as long as we can. Dh was a chunky kid as was he rest of his family, and I grew up with a chunkier family (I have a freak motabolosm and have always been tiny) so we are hoping to give monster a good head start to being healthy. FIL keeps making fun of me and saying that I'm depriving monster of a good childhood. Dhs aunt says that im being a mean mommy. Well, basically I'm looking for someone to tell me that I don't have to defend my choices to anyone and that I'm not being a bad mom. TIA

CTri17 · January 2011

Tell them to bite you, and bug off.

Really it isn't any of their business. Just play it off "yep, I'm the mean mommy he'll be healthy and happy"

or tell them to bite you.

Jeni182 · January 2011

He's your child, therefore it's your choice. Wink

Seriously though, I know how you feel. I've been super picky about what J eats and I get all kinds of grief for it. My family is a big junk food family so I know it's a battle I'm going to have to fight for a while. Just take solace in knowing that you're doing what is absolutely best for your child, everyone else be damned.

NathsPrncssD · January 2011

You are doing the right thing! Nevermind your family histories, eating healthy is always the BEST choice. I can't believe that people in your family are making you feel bad about this! Just follow your own decisions and don't let someone else try to influence it. We will also try and keep our DD from having lots of sweets, junk food, etc. Keep doing what you are doing!

AyeDavanita · January 2011

Mama, you know that your choices are your right. You're doing the right thing by sticking to your guns.

Whenever I have anyone of an older generation question my choices (especially when it has to go with being green or health conscious) I just assume they are on the defensive. Are they taking my choice to do something more healthy than was done for my generation as an afront to their choices? Are they thinking it's my own passive agressive way of saying that I'm doing it better? They screwed up so I'm trying to be better? Obviously we all try to do best with what information we have, so I think we've all tried our best, even the generations with no seatbelts! So I usually just let it slide.

miaomi · January 2011

Wait, are they saying this stuff about/to you in front of monster?

I wonder why, since it's your DH's family that is saying this..why he's letting them. He needs to step up and explain that it's HIS choice also and that they are NOT to say negative things about you in front of your child or at all. It's very disrespectful. And it's also your DH's job to handle it.

stewiegriffin · January 2011

Our boys don't get much sugar either. ILS often sneak them stuff, but they know we don't like it. Once in a while we let N have some junk, but we are a junk free home for the most part.

Besides, this way its easy to please for potty training treats. N thinks smarties are awesome!

Shortycube · January 2011

miaomi:
Wait, are they saying this stuff about/to you in front of monster?

I wonder why, since it's your DH's family that is saying this..why he's letting them. He needs to step up and explain that it's HIS choice also and that they are NOT to say negative things about you in front of your child or at all. It's very disrespectful. And it's also your DH's job to handle it.

That's a good point - they say it with monster there all the time. Dh always says that it's his choice as well and defends it. He actually defends it more then I do. I usually let it slide but last night FIL kept saying there is no way I will stick with it. He kept yelling it even after I went upstairs.

miaomi · January 2011

Shortycube:
miaomi:

Wait, are they saying this stuff about/to you in front of monster?

I wonder why, since it's your DH's family that is saying this..why he's letting them. He needs to step up and explain that it's HIS choice also and that they are NOT to say negative things about you in front of your child or at all. It's very disrespectful. And it's also your DH's job to handle it.

That's a good point - they say it with monster there all the time. Dh always says that it's his choice as well and defends it. He actually defends it more then I do. I usually let it slide but last night FIL kept saying there is no way I will stick with it. He kept yelling it even after I went upstairs.

That's really F'd up. I think it sounds like your DH has tried to be nice about it and they aren't getting it. Maybe it's time for him to have a sit-down with them and let them know that you guys won't allow that kind of bad-talking around Monster and it needs to stop. If they want to be around Monster, then they need to respect how you guys are raising him.

There are a lot of things my Mom hasn't really agree'd with, but she keeps her mouth shut in front of Livy. Before we know it, these LO's will understand everything. I don't want her questioning me even earlier than she already will, kwim?

Shortycube · January 2011

miaomi:
Shortycube:
miaomi:

Wait, are they saying this stuff about/to you in front of monster?

I wonder why, since it's your DH's family that is saying this..why he's letting them. He needs to step up and explain that it's HIS choice also and that they are NOT to say negative things about you in front of your child or at all. It's very disrespectful. And it's also your DH's job to handle it.

That's a good point - they say it with monster there all the time. Dh always says that it's his choice as well and defends it. He actually defends it more then I do. I usually let it slide but last night FIL kept saying there is no way I will stick with it. He kept yelling it even after I went upstairs.

That's really F'd up. I think it sounds like your DH has tried to be nice about it and they aren't getting it. Maybe it's time for him to have a sit-down with them and let them know that you guys won't allow that kind of bad-talking around Monster and it needs to stop. If they want to be around Monster, then they need to respect how you guys are raising him.

There are a lot of things my Mom hasn't really agree'd with, but she keeps her mouth shut in front of Livy. Before we know it, these LO's will understand everything. I don't want her questioning me even earlier than she already will, kwim?

I know what you mean but for the time being we are living in "there house" (we pay equal rent and buy our own food completely but we are by no means treated equally) so dh doesn't want to jeopardize our living situation. As soon as we're out of here if he says it again in front of monster he will get a mouthful from me. I never even thought about the fact that he says it in front of monster!

miaomi · January 2011

Shortycube:
miaomi:
Shortycube:
miaomi:

Wait, are they saying this stuff about/to you in front of monster?

I wonder why, since it's your DH's family that is saying this..why he's letting them. He needs to step up and explain that it's HIS choice also and that they are NOT to say negative things about you in front of your child or at all. It's very disrespectful. And it's also your DH's job to handle it.

That's a good point - they say it with monster there all the time. Dh always says that it's his choice as well and defends it. He actually defends it more then I do. I usually let it slide but last night FIL kept saying there is no way I will stick with it. He kept yelling it even after I went upstairs.

That's really F'd up. I think it sounds like your DH has tried to be nice about it and they aren't getting it. Maybe it's time for him to have a sit-down with them and let them know that you guys won't allow that kind of bad-talking around Monster and it needs to stop. If they want to be around Monster, then they need to respect how you guys are raising him.

There are a lot of things my Mom hasn't really agree'd with, but she keeps her mouth shut in front of Livy. Before we know it, these LO's will understand everything. I don't want her questioning me even earlier than she already will, kwim?

I know what you mean but for the time being we are living in "there house" (we pay equal rent and buy our own food completely but we are by no means treated equally) so dh doesn't want to jeopardize our living situation. As soon as we're out of here if he says it again in front of monster he will get a mouthful from me. I never even thought about the fact that he says it in front of monster!

Ugh, that REALLY sucks. I never saw a follow-up on that appt you were looking at. Did you get it? I hope you guys get out of there soon, I can't imagine living with my in-laws...and they aren't that bad. My MIL just CONSTANTLY say, "Oh, Livy needs a lovey, why doesn't Livy have a lovey?" in this most irritating high, squeaky baby voice. She doesn't have a lovey because my H's other niece's have turned me off to them by dragging these disgusting, dirty blakets everywhere they go, NEEDING them 24/7, rubbing them all over their faces, in their eyes and mouth and touching everyone with them. Ew.

Shortycube · January 2011

No we didn't get it. They gave it to someone else after saying it we get a cosigner we could have it. I got a cosigner that day and they gave it to someone else a few days later - after waiting until the very last day to call ("I will call you by Friday at the very latest!" they called Friday) it was a pain in the ass.

emiliemadison · January 2011

Of course it's your right and you shouldn't feel bad for sticking up to people regarding your choices. I will say, however, that sometimes it's better NOT to be so rigid on stuff like this, for two specific reasons. One, if you severely limit (or withhold) things from kids, they will want it more and will not learn to limit themselves on it when it's given. Teaching a healthy balance does include some sweets. Second, if it's not forbidden, your ILs (or others) are much less likely to try to do it. If it's not a big deal to you, then it wont be something on their radar that they're always trying to "get by" you.

Shortycube · January 2011

emiliemadison:
Of course it's your right and you shouldn't feel bad for sticking up to people regarding your choices. I will say, however, that sometimes it's better NOT to be so rigid on stuff like this, for two specific reasons. One, if you severely limit (or withhold) things from kids, they will want it more and will not learn to limit themselves on it when it's given. Teaching a healthy balance does include some sweets. Second, if it's not forbidden, your ILs (or others) are much less likely to try to do it. If it's not a big deal to you, then it wont be something on their radar that they're always trying to "get by" you.

it's not going to be forbidden, i just want to avoid it for as long as i can. i refuse to willingly give him sweets until he is at least 2. but i will teach him it in moderation. they keep making it seem like he needs to gave sweets all of the time. they're a big junkfood family, and we have junkfood a lot now but when he's getting actual food that isn't mostly purees we will limit the amount greatly. thanks for the imput though! totally makes sense.

akl0506 · January 2011

We are doing the same thing. AND, I read that they shouldn't have sugar until at least 2. I might give on the first birthday for a little smash cake. But, that is all I am planning so far.

sasky · January 2011

I've gotten questions like this before, but it's more in a genuinely curious way, rather than a mean way. I always explain to people that while he's happily eating all kinds of vegetables and fruits and healthy foods, there's no reason to introduce unnecessary sugar and processed stuff. He doesn't know what he's missing anyway.

I'm not going to be adamant about DS never having sweets, but there's really no point right now. I don't understand why people care so much.

Shortycube · January 2011

akl0506:
We are doing the same thing. AND, I read that they shouldn't have sugar until at least 2. I might give on the first birthday for a little smash cake. But, that is all I am planning so far.

I'm doing a no sugar cake and a no sugar cream cheese icing for a smash cake

ANJ410 · January 2011

It is absolutely up to the parent to decide what their child can eat or not eat.

With that said, I am of the mindframe of everything in moderation. I am a big label reader and try to make the healthiest choices possible when I go grocery shopping. Sweets are not a major fixture in our house because neither DH or I really like them very much, but we also never prohibitted DS from eating them. I keep very low sugar cookies in the house (like Nilla wafers) and if we do occasionally buy ice cream, DS is allowed to eat it. Heavily sugared sweets like cake and candy are for birthday parties and holidays only.

The only definite no-no for our kids is soda. It flat out disgusts me when I see small children drinking soda.

hoshicat · January 2011

It IS your choice! You do what you know is best for your little boy! Give him the healthy start that you know you want for him and will be best for him growing up.

Also! I love your purple tips you had before having Monster. Way cute picture of you!!

Que*Syrah · January 2011

we don't give ds sugar. he eats very very healthy. although, we never have any junk in the house for dh or i either, but we do eat it on occasion. we make a huge effort to eat healthy, clean and organic so ds by default eats the same way.

he has had a french fry here or there but that's about it. i just don't see any reason my 11 month old needs to eat junk food.

luckily no one really gives me grief about it but if they do i just say that we're helping him learn to make good choices about food and we'll allow him some treats as he grows.

Shortycube · January 2011

hoshicat:

It IS your choice! You do what you know is best for your little boy! Give him the healthy start that you know you want for him and will be best for him growing up.

Also! I love your purple tips you had before having Monster. Way cute picture of you!!

aww thanks! i'm seriously sooo jealous of your hair.

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