How often do you use your MN?

Phillychickadee · January 2011

In my family, middle names are for honoring folks. Therefore, I am kind of stuck with Lynn for a middle name. I don't hate it, but I don't love it. So common, ugh.

But then I think about my mn, and I never really use it. I would say 90% of my friends don't even know it, and lots of women shed it when they get married and use their maiden name as their middle name.

How much should I really stress about having a not great MN for LO, if most people end up not really using their middle name anyway?

crystal959 · January 2011

We use middle names to honor people as well. My middle name is Ann along with 2 of my cousins and my grandmother. My mom used to call me Crystal Annie Pie sometimes growing up but other than that it was never used.

I think people make too big of a deal with middle names sometimes. My DH is guilty of this. I've given him 4 options for boy middle names and 3 for girls and he's having a very hard time deciding.

Worry more about the first name, the middle name will fall in place.

braveangel2 · January 2011

1. When I tell my name story (cause it's awesome)

2. When I fill out forms

3. When discussing middle names with my coworkers

I've always thought middle names should be hidden gems...names we don't have the balls to use as a first, but still love. Yes, the whole point is to honor family and to show lineage, but that's not a firm thing anymore.

TheNextWest · January 2011

In our family, not only are MNs family names, but we all use them. On my dad's side, everyone goes by their first and middle. We regularly call our kids by the first and middle... so the "Who cares if it doesn't sound great, no one ever uses their MN" argument, doesn't apply to us at all.

waterfly · January 2011

I could probably count on one hand the number of people outside my immediate family who know my MN, and even DH will ask every now and then because he's forgotten. In school, people mostly assumed on seeing my initials that my first name was actually me going by my first and middle combined(I grew up in the south, and my middle initial is the same as the beginning of the last syllable of my not-so-common name). It was read out at my HS graduation, but as my HS had 4000+ students the year I graduated, it got drowned out in all the other names. Aside from that, some employers would put it on my pay stubs, and it'd be on my DL and so on, but that's about it.

It's even rarer that anyone hears it now, since I dropped it for official purposes after we got married. My maiden name serves as a MN when I have to put one down, and most forms and such these days ask for middle initials instead of the full MN anyways. So while I still know I was named for my grandmother, and so do the people to whom it matters, it's really nobody else's business, unless I choose to make it so. Call it a family secret, if you like Wink

[lu?ia] · January 2011

Where I am, middle names don't exist (only second first names), so I don't use mine ever any more (since my middle name is not a second first name).

I wouldn't use a name I don't like, though. I'd try to find a Lynn-variant if honouring someone were that important to me, but if I didn't like Lynn, I wouldn't use it. Why are you stuck with it? Are there only people named Lynn in your family?

starlight8323 · January 2011

I'm sorry to hear that you feel pressured to use any name for your child. My advice to you would be that it is your and your DH's child, and y'all should name her what you want. (It's one of our 3 cardinal rules of baby naming!)

That being said, if you decide you want to honor family and use Lynn, that's nothing to be ashamed of. Lynn is nice enough; and like you said, it's so popular that no one will think twice about it.

strangebird · January 2011

Actually, I love my name and name story so much, probably most people who know me also know my middle names. In fact, "what's your middle name?" was one of the first questions I asked my then future-husband the night we met and we knew one another's "name stories" that very same night. Granted, I've been a Name Nerd my whole life, so I wouldn't expect everyone to feel as strongly as I do, but I do think if you love your middle name, you're more likely to share it with others.

On the subject of honorifics--I strongly feel that you should not give your child a name you don't like, regardless of who it will honor and that you should not feel compelled to use the middle name slot for an honorific if you don't have someone you feel passionately about honoring.

Personally, we have several honorific names on our list for potential middle names and my own middle names are both honorifics, but I wouldn't choose to follow suit if I didn't also love the name. For example, my mother hates her first name and her middle name is Lynn, too, which she considers boring. Even though I would love to honor my mother, I wont use either of her names--I don't like them and neither does she. Instead, I'll choose a name that I would be proud to give my daughter, something that still matters to me, but also something I actually love.

Phillychickadee · January 2011

Thanks, all!

I guess I should say that I really do want to use the mn Lynn. It actually honors most of the women in my and DH's family, so double bonus points. Gotta strategically place those grandchildren into the will, right ;-)

I am just glad I should be more concerned about what first name sounds better with the last name, rather than what flows as a full name, b/c it is so rarely used.

erin.ryan · January 2011

My middle name isn't one that I would have chosen myself but I've always appreciated that it wasn't one of the filler names. I've also always been a name nerd and love hearing other people's full names as well as using my own. I didn't even consider dropping it when I got married.

You are never stuck with any name unless its the name you want to use. My mother's name is Linda and I would LOVE to honor her but dislike the name and won't be using it. My sister, however, has chosen to use Evelyn or Caroline/lyn for her future DD. Maybe a name like that would be an option for you?

HarperM · January 2011

I NEVER use my middle name. And I never ask anyone what their middle name is.

alliejo725 · January 2011

I wouldn't over-stress it.

DH and I used "compromise names" as MNs. I think it's a fun way to use names that are a little out there without strapping our child with a mock-worthy FN.

As for me---I never use my MN now that I'm married. It sounds stupid with my LN.

Allie30 · January 2011

I use mine professionally, and this was something we considered for our child, too -- we wanted a middle name that could double as a pen or stage last name. I love what a PP said about the "hidden gem" idea too. I hate "filler" middle names -- why bother? I love family honorifics and I love good stories for the name -- no matter what you pick.

MrsVo · January 2011

I'll say never because I'm one who dropped my middle name in favor of my maiden name. However, I will tell you this, my grandmother's first name is my mother's middle name. This name did not get passed down to me and I always felt a little sad about it.

thetwinkies&Vivi · January 2011

I use my middle name on a daily basis. I have always been called "Katie Lea" but always wrote it as Katie lea, like a double first name. School papers, bank cards etc all have Katie lea on them. I am the only one in the family who uses both names. Apparently it just caught on when I was young. I did get the "Lea" from my mom's sister(my aunt) who also has "Lea" for a middle name.

jesstellina · January 2011

Allie30:
I use mine professionally, and this was something we considered for our child, too -- we wanted a middle name that could double as a pen or stage last name. I love what a PP said about the "hidden gem" idea too. I hate "filler" middle names -- why bother? I love family honorifics and I love good stories for the name -- no matter what you pick.

I totally agree!! I see "Rae" as a filler name a lot of times. It's just a cutesy filler, and I don't like it!

I also agree that a middle name should be "usable" - I hadn't thought about a stage/pen name, but maybe as an alternate name in case the kid doesn't like his/her first name. When my mom was growing up she hated her first and middle names, so she gave my sis the MN Elizabeth, so that she coulda kinda re-name herself Liz, Libby, Beth, etc. if she wanted to.

LMS05 · January 2011

All of my friends know my middle name and I know theirs, but I rarely use mine. I have a filler middle name- Marie. It means absolutely nothing to me. My brother has a family middle name and I've always wished my parents would have given me one. All my children will have family middle names even if they don't sound perfect. Middle names are rarely used in my family.

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