Sorry, guys, it's been a rough holiday season for me
FaithRocks
member
First, I am so sorry for being MIA. I really do prefer being a more active member of this board!
DH and I had a wonderful trip to Beaches Turks & Caicos. I would recommend it to anyone and it really was good for my sanity and our marriage for SURE.
Since then, it's been tough. We got home like the 20th or something and I was like, whoa, Christmas is like HERE already. I had bought most of my gifts but I actually MADE some of them so I had a little to do and ALL of my wrapping. So that was a bit stressful. Thank goodness for the inlaws, I hung out over there and they helped me, I helped them, etc. It was good.
But DH has not been around. He has literally been working 100+ hours per week. It's been a tough month. He was working on Christmas eve, on call on Christmas day, and had to sleep all day the day after Christmas and then back to work again on the 27th. It was extremely difficult not having him around. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't particularly lonely, since my family came to town and we were with the in laws but it wasn't the same without DH and the kids' daddy, ya know?
For those of you that remember my post about anxiety issues, I did see a psychiatrist a few days ago. They dropped a bombshell - I have bipolar disorder. I am really upset and freaked out by this, but logically, I know it's true. They want me to start a medication that is not recommended for breastfeeding so in the span of 5 minutes, I was told this diagnosis and asked to stop breastfeeding. As upset as I was about the diagnosis I was more about about not breastfeeding anymore, but upon further investigation, I found out that the american academy of pediatrics has approved it for use during breastfeeding. So I started taking it, and we'll see how it goes.
Also, both of my kiddos are sick. I took Grayson in the other day because I was so worried about him and we had a scare - two pulse oximiter machines measured his oxygen level at 73 and they were about to intubate him but later discovered that the machines were wrong thank GOODNESS.
Oh yeah, one more thing - I went to the hospital myself a few days ago because of pain that I thought was an ectopic pregnancy. Turned out that for some reason my right ovary is HUGE and they don't know why. But I did have a chemical pregnancy. Joy. They think that my IUD is also causing me pain so I am probably going to remove it.
Anyway, thanks for listening. Nothing on FB please, I really haven't told anyone about my diagnosis, or the pregnancy, or my ovary, this is very personal. But I love you guys and thought you would understand 
Hugs to all. Promise I'll be on more now! Now that I am not drowning!
Re: Sorry, guys, it's been a rough holiday season for me
They arrived at 36 weeks after PTL and bedrest for 14 weeks.
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
wow. that's a lot to deal with. i'm so sorry about your c/p.
i have some friends with bipolar disorder and i know that once you get on medications that work for you (which can take some trial and error) it is VERY well controlled by medication. i am sure once you find the right medicines for you you will feel a million times better. good for you for seeking help and figuring out what the problem is.
many hugs. let us know what we can do to support you.
Oh my gosh, that's so much to deal with all at once. I'm so sorry. I hope that 2011 is a much much better year for you.
((((((((cyberhugs))))))))
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
I'm sorry you're dealing with so much. I hope things turn around for you in the new year. ((HUGS))
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I will say one thing however re. your bipolar diagnosis. The term used for what you "have" is not nearly as important as how you are treated, and that you get appropriate treatment. Get the help you need and as soon as you can.
Anxiety is not something to mess with. Make sure you have a strong support system around you, and keep DH up to speed. This sucks for you, but you will get through it. Do not get hung up on that word: Bipolar. It is just a word. What you do to help is what matters.
Hang in there! There are more of us suffering with anxiety ect than you know!
Oh honey...that sounds rough.
Take care of yourself...we're here when you get ready.
(((Hugs)))
Oh wow... that does sound rough.
Take care of yourself, and I hope things turn around in the new year!
((Hugs))
Oh my goodness - that is a TON to deal with!! I am glad you are getting new meds and remember -a diagnosis is a label, not a person. A diagnosis will just help determine the right meds so you can feel like yourself again.
I'm so sorry about the CP too. Ugh, insult to injury.
Here is hoping to a MUCH improved 2011!!
ETA: For what it's worth, bipolar seems to be the diagnosis du jour. I feel like a LOT of people have the diagnosis but are not manic/depressive in the same way that we typically have viewed BPD. Once you start talking about it, I guarantee a ton of folks will come out of the woodwork with the same diagnosis. You're not crazy - your biochemistry is off and this is how to fix it. (((hugs)))I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Amber
TTC since March '06
MFI, LPD, possible PCOS
3 chem pgs * m/c identical twins at 9w 10.06
IVF w/ICSI #2 - beta - 187! (9dp5dt), beta - 367! (11dp5dt)
IVF w/ICSI #3 - it's a girl!
My IF Blog: Between the Lines
My Parenting Blog: Letters From Your Mama
Wow, that is so much to deal with in a short amount of time. I am so sorry you have been having such a rough time, I hope your new meds start helping soon and your anxiety becomes better controlled. I hope your 2011 runs much smoother than the last few months have gone for you!
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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Wow...that's a lot for anyone to take in. And to have it all happen right around the holidays has to make it more difficult. I'm glad you went to the doctors and have a diagnosis, even if it means you do have to stop b/f. Hopefully the meds will help and 2011 will be a better year.
((HUGS)) to you, and know that we're all here for you for anything you need.
I am so sorry everything has been so rough for you lately. I hope the new year brings some relief for you.
Huge (((HUGS)))
oh my gosh Kelly, I am so sorry! I don't even know where to begin, I am sorry for all of it!
Being a residents wife SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!! There is no way around it. It SUCKS and then some. And having 2 kids while doing it AND being away from family, even worse (I know I am and have been in the same boat).
I am so sorry about your dx but hopefully getting on the right medication will help you feel more rounded in life.
I wish we lived close! We could hang out while our husbands are gone a million hours a week.
Thanks for opening up and sharing with us. Praying your life can settle down some.