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2nd Trimester
Anybody getting rid of their pet?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anybody getting rid of their pet?
You disgust me just a little bit.
Our dog is family...period. I would never consider getting rid of him. He is mine for life.
I feel like when we got our dog Cody, it was a start to our family... Together we took care of him and trained him. In a way, DH and I feel like it was great preparation for the LO coming in July!
I know its not like taking care of a baby, but he was one of our first shared responsiblities. Like who's taking him out, feeding him and taking the time to train... He's part of our family and we will do whatever it takes to get him accustomed to our new addition
I cannot believe my eyes after reading this post. NO. I will NOT be getting rid of my 2 cats and dog once the baby is here. The thought has never even crossed my mind.
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
This. I also agree with the PP who said that your cat needs a new home, only because YOU are obviously not providing her with the loving and understanding home that SHE deserves.
My dog is my best friend, no question about that. She was a certified service dog who was surrendered to a kill shelter! I've wondered for a long time what kind of person would bring such a loving, well-behaved dog to Animal Control, knowing very well she could be put down...and now I realize, it was probably someone like you. Does she beg at the table? Absolutely. Does she lounge on the furniture like she owns the place? You bet. Does she shed everywhere? Like a blizzard. But I can't imagine ever thinking so little of her that I would have the stomach to "get rid" of her just because someone new is coming into BOTH of our lives.
Follow another PP's advice, and volunteer at a shelter for just an hour. I hope you learn something.
My cat is part of my family. And she has recently taken to crapping in the floor. Which she does when she is upset about something. But I would never get rid of her.
We did have to get rid of a couple of cats that were constantly crapping in our bed, several years ago! But we gave them to my IL's and they grew fat and happy with the rest of their animals. So I don't blame you for getting rid of your troublesome cat. Just so long as you are not giving her to a shelter, you are giving her to a person that will take good care of her.
The first three posters in this thread make me sick.
And unlike other posters, I sure as hell will judge you- you're uncaring, selfish, rotten people.
Your animals loved you and depended on you for food, shelter and most importantly, for you to LOVE THEM BACK. You don't deserve the vast amounts of joy a pet can bring into your life, ever. Not that you are even capable of appreciating something like that. I just hope that you all aren't stupid and neglectful enough to get another pet, ever.
A million times this!
With the exception of aggression (only after behavior therapy has failed) and my child having severe allergies, I would NEVER give up my dog or cat. How can you even consider abandoning them like that?! And back to the aggression thing, properly preparing your animal for the new addition can greatly reduce the chances of this happening.
I had my cat since we found her as a small kitten, before I ever met my husband. He wasn't a "cat person" but warmed up to her when I made it clear that I come with furry baggage.
When we adopted our dog 2 yrs ago, we knew it would be a long-term commitment- possibly 15yrs or more. And we knew we would want children within that time. To the PP who said that they "don't have room anymore" and that's why their getting rid of their pets, did you really not consider this when you took your pet into your home? Irresponsible.
The previous owners who gave up my dog did it because they were moving and their new apartment doesn't allow pets. Really? I would never even consider an apartment that didn't allow me to bring my pets with me.
I developed allergies to both the dog and the cat after having them for years. Did I give them up? NO. I take claritin everyday.
So yes, sometimes bringing a pet into your home and family can cause inconveniences and they can be a pain, but if you really didn't realize this, then you are a moron. It comes with the territory. And the love, companionship, and overall benefits of having pets, for me, far outweigh the problems. You don't deserve them. Please at least try to find a home that can appreciate them as you are unable to do. And never get a pet again.
I am disgusted. Your cat is not a "thing." S/he is a living, breathing life. An innocent one who depends on you for survival. This just breaks my heart for all the animals here who are being removed from the only homes and people they know, and with no ability to understand why their entire world is being ripped away from them.
My dog is a treasured member of our family. It would take EXTREME aggression and the exhaustion of ANY AND ALL possible training options before I would even consider giving her up.
Those of you so willing to cast your animals aside should be ashamed of yourselves. You knew you had these responsiblities when you decided to TTC. Pets are not placeholders until children come along, they are life long commitments.
And they are amazing blessings as well. How very sad you all must be to not realize this, just because you don't want to put in the time and effort to make the transition work for EVERY member of your family. Furry ones included.
I am SO DISGUSTED with this! Animals do not deserve to be treated this way! As if they are just disposable!
I have two cats that I've adopted from shelters, one who is obnoxious as fvck, but can be very affectionate, and one who had serious trauma as a kitten and isn't quite right mentally. Both are relatively trained (YES you CAN train cats too!) and respond to commands like sit, come, down, and no. We are considering getting a behavior specialist for the youngest who has some aggression with biting, but I'm going to try my damnedest to train him my self.
As for complaints with animal hair, don't be so freaking lazy, if it bothers you then you need to brush them DAILY! It drives me bonkers when people b*tch about that. You knew the animal had hair when you got it, if it sheds more than normal then go invest in a de-shedding brush, or spend the extra money to have them shaved at the groomers. DUH!
Cats who go into shelters usually get killed, because no one wants a full grown cat, they either want a dog or a kitten.
Do yourself and other animals a favor and NEVER get any more if that is how you plan on treating them.
How can there not be enough room for chihuahuas?
And jeesh, some of your kids better not ever wet the bed, or it'll be straight to the orphanage with them.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I think its horrible you referred to your cat as a "thing" we treasure our pup more than anything. I think its a sign of your neglect and poor form as a pet owner that this keeps happening. I kind of hope you do find it a good loving home, because I don't think it has one right now.
Please never consider getting another pet again.
bfp 01/23/10 m/c 12w1d 03/14/10 EDD 09/24/10
bfp 07/20/10 m/c 5w1d 07/25/10
bfp 11/19/10 Born 07/24/11 via C/S
My Forever Sister From Another Mister~CashewsMommy!!
Yup, straight to the orphanage is right.
To the OP: You're a really terrible pet owner. You haven't even had the cat that long! I don't understand why people like you have pets.
Wow. You didn't realize you wouldn't have room when you moved there or when you got the chihuahuas?
In any case, if we were in that situation, that would be crowded, but DH and I could do it, because we are committed to ALL of our family members.
DD born 07/2011 DD due 11/18/2013
I PPH you Ckelll! I completely agree with you! So to answer OP's question and even my own family's NO I will not be getting rid of our 4 dogs.
::Peeking in from PgAL::
I am a veterinarian, & I wanted to say that some of the PPs had excellent questions that you really should evaluate before making this serious decision.
1. How many litter boxes does she have, & how often are they cleaned? When cats have inappropriate elimination problems, an easy thing to try is adding a box (the formula is: # of cats + 1 = # of boxes). And make sure it is scooped daily, & the litter is replaced at least weekly, if not every 4-5 days. Even though you're pregnant, you can still help to take care of the litter boxes, if no one else is around to do it. Toxoplasmosis (the parasite they warn pregnant women about) is something your cat is very unlikely to transmit if she is indoors only. Even if she goes outside, it takes 24 hours for toxo to become contagious after a cat has defecated, so if you scoop the box daily it's not a problem. Finally, if you wash your hands after scooping the box (& before eating or putting them in your mouth or anything) you'll be fine. (In fact, you are WAY more likely to contract toxo from undercooked meat than from a cat.) So, litter box management can go a long way.
2. Is your cat spayed? If not, she needs to be. This could also help with your problems, & can avoid the potential for expensive, emergency, surgery if she develops a uterine infection later on.
3. Is your cat getting enough attention? Kittens tend to go through "crazy" phases regardless, but if your kitten is bored it could be much worse. Keeping her occupied could be as simple as sitting on the couch & shooting a laser pointer around the room for her to chase. It doesn't take too much effort, & can make a big difference in her quality of life.
4. Did your vet do a urinalysis? It's usually the first test we do when there are litter box problems, even if we suspect they're behavioral in nature. If you did not get this test done, I'd highly, highly recommend it. If kitty has a UTI, usually a couple of weeks of antibiotics can clear it up.
5. The latest research in immunology seems to suggest that the allergens we're exposed to at an early age may actually PROTECT us from allergies. Scientists are hypothesizing that we may be seeing more allergies in humans because we've become so sanitized! So I wouldn't automatically be concerned about the dander.
I hope that you've read this far, & I hope that these recommendations are helpful. I definitely feel that they're worth pursuing before considering your other alternatives. Good luck.
Would never do it.
Yes.
You know, I might be bring down the wrath on myself, but I'm gonna go ahead and speak my piece.
I LOVE my dog. I love her. I rearrange my life for her and her behavior issues. I take damn good care of her and love her very much. HOWEVER, when I have a child I know I might have to make the decision to find another home for her because of the aggressive behavior she shows when I hold a baby or even come close to another animal. I have hired the trainers and behaviorists. I have worked with the vet. I have given her anti-anxiety meds. I have done all that I can, and nothing has helped her with her issues.
As for the inevitable - you should have thought of that before you brought her home comments: I was 24 when I rescued her from a neglectful situation. Kids were not on my mind, and as there are no children in my family, there was no way to know that she was so aggressive. Her former owners offered no intel here. What am I supposed to do? Wait out my TTC years while she ages? She's only halfway through her average lifespan. Should I wait until I am high risk maternal age to accomodate her issues?
And the whole "I love them like they were my children" is a statement that is tossed around a lot, but really? Would you pay $25,000 for a pet? No? But you would pay that much for the chance to have a baby, right? House is on fire - save the pets or the kids? I'm betting kids, and I hope to God it was a quick answer. OK - save the pets or the husband. Husband wins (I hope). The point is that while we may love our animals deeply (which I am sure you absolutely do) They are NOT on the name level as humans. And when it comes down to it, if finding another home for my dog improves the life of my child, so be it.
The "if you do this to your pet, what will you do to your children" comments are a bit hysterical, aren't they? Really? I crate my dog when I go out for the night. She doesn't particularly like it, but it has to be done. Chances are I'll be hiring a babysitter for my kids though. The way some of you talk I would be chaining my kids to their beds instead.
Also - being a responsible "parent" means making the best choices for whatever the "child" is, human or pet. Some animals ARE NOT HAPPY around children. Any visit to any shelter will reveal that to you. Sometimes, you just dont know that when you get the animal. Sometimes, the animal cannot be retrained. And while the behaviors may or may not be aggressive when the animal "acts out" consistantly and beyond the help of a trainer, it is the right and responsible decision to find a home that provides a calmer and happier life for the pet you love so much. Heartbreaking? I'm sure. That doesn't mean it's wrong.
I will admit, I may consider a new home for my dog as soon as I get pregnant. Why? Because the behaviorists, trainers, vets and meds haven't worked. Exposure therapy doesn't work. And because my dog is not a puppy, i know that finding a suitable home for her may take a lot of time. After a baby arrives, I will (by sheer laws of physics) not have the same amount of time and energy to devote to this monumental decision, and worse than having to give her up is giving her up after half-assed efforts.
Obviously, the decision shouldn't be taken lightly, nor should it be the first and only resort. However, the virulient responses people gave were disproportionate and cruel to the decisions some people have to make.
Although I know this became a novel, I sincerely hope it gets read thoroughly before I am immolated by the flames. Feel free to pmail me if you would like to take issue with what I said.
TTC/BFP/FF details in bio
Upon reading the previous post, I had a quick conversation with my BF. If there is a fire, I'll grab our daughter and he will grab our cats. And if its cats versus him, I will grab the cats and he can get out on his own lol. And if necessary, I will grab him out with the cats riding on top.
My pets are like children to me. We went away for two days at Christmas and the entire trip, every hour or so, I would say aloud, I miss the cats! I felt terrible about leaving them. If they were better about car rides, I would have brought them with us. As it is, I was so torn, that I got a hotel that allows pets just in case we decided to bring them.
My older cat, Neville, got hit by a car two years ago because he sneaked out of the house at night and he is a black cat. We spent over $2000 getting his broken pelvis fixed, I stayed up all night to take care of the "night shift" because he needed to be in a tent and lifted into the litter box every time he had to go. We have to monitor his bowel movements to make sure that he is going because things aren't where they used to be. He has to have wet food in his diet for the rest of his life and he is a picky eater. He gets mad at us for random things and pees all over the place, he prefers to do his business outside like a dog and until we raised his food, he would vomit all over the place. Despite the money and the trouble and all the whining and crying to go out at all times of the day, we love him immensely and would never dream of getting rid of him!
And as for the younger one, well she might be a little trouble because she is so clingy and she has already claimed the car seat as her bed, but we are working with her. And I don't care what it takes, because she is a part of this family!
Quite possibly the funniest thing I've read in a while!
Oh and I'm so glad someone called out the Chihuahua chick b/c I was just coming here to do it. Why don't YOU leave and let the animals and children stay? I'm sure there will be plenty of room after that.
OP....please don't ever ever adopt another animal again. They are not part time. They are furever.
BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
missing my baby everyday
BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d
I feel like I tried everything.
She only started this about 3 months ago.. She has two litter boxes, one in the laundry room and one in a bathroom. She only uses the one in the bathroom. We have changed her food. The vet told me to try organic dry food. I want to keep her so bad! We have gotten so used to her, she really was like our baby. But we both noticed she is getting worse. She never used to be like this!
She is a long haired Russian Blue. Very beautiful cat! And if we do decide to give her up, were finding a good home for her. I would never drop her off at a shelter or the Humane Society..
Another thing that scares me is that everywhere I read about that breed of cats, it says that they dont like kids.
Blog: http://hellodarlingxoxo.blogspot.com/
My cat had some serious peeing issues about 6 months ago. It turned out it was a PH balance thing in her bladder that causes crystals to form and its painful for the cat to go regularly. Then it gets worse with stress. We were told to get wet food and feed her that for a few months. We did and it cleared up. She is back on dry food but the urinary tract kind. She is fine now and after everything cleared up she became more lovable and sweet. Her stress was decreased dramatically because she wasn't in pain.
There are also pastes you can get at places like Wal-Mart that are designed for PH balance. We also bought a collar that has an aromatherapy quality to it to reduce stress. That was also found at Wal-Mart.
There are things you can do. I don't feel like you have exercised all of your options yet.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I haven't read all the responses in this thread yet, but let me get this straight...you are considering giving up your cats b/c they shed and you don't want them jumping in the crib? Um...how about you keep the door to the nursery closed?
I'm not going to flame the OP because I don't know the whole story, but I will make a small comment on my situation. My oldest cat is like my child, and when I had my miscarriage, I don't know that I would have gotten through it without her. Which is funny when I think about it because she seemed to hate me when I was pregnant. We recently got her a furry brother who has also very quickly become like a child to me.
I never got to take my baby home, so I can't really say what I would do in that situation; but as of today, I would try everything I could to keep my furry children.
Good luck, I hope you find a great home for your cat.
See, to me this is questionable pet parenting. My dog has free reign in the house, with the exception of the bathrooms. She can choose to be with us when she wants, and she usually does - until 9.30 when she decides it's bedtime and she goes up to sleep in our bed. She would be miserable if we kept her out of places she wanted to be, but more importantly the "restriction" would be from us as we would spend most of our time in the same room as the baby.
Not trying to pass judgement on you personally, but rather to shed light on the fact that people have differing opinions about what is in the best interest of pets.
TTC/BFP/FF details in bio
I only meant the nursery, I should have been more specific. She has always had full access to all areas of the house and yard and that would be the only place we would keep her out of, and only IF we had a problem that required us to do so.
I actually saw that stress collar online and I know Wal Mart sells them, Im definitely going to go buy it! I And I actually do want the vet to check for the bladder thing.. That might be the problem.. Thank you so much!
Blog: http://hellodarlingxoxo.blogspot.com/
One of the reasons our shelters are so damn full is because of people like the OP and all those who chimed in agreement.
Here's the thing....YOU brought a pet into your home. YOU should take the responsibility to work with the pet to work out the issues. Only AFTER have you attempted to work out the issues (with a qualified person, such as a vet), and if the animal is attacking/dangerous to you/baby, then that is the only time it would ever be OK to talk to your vet about other places the animal can go.
FFS, grow up people and become a productive member of society, rather than a drain. If your kid doesn't behave the way you like, are you going to drop him/her off on a corner, too?
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
There is no way I would ever get rid of my cats unless I exhausted all options if they became aggressive (and my mom has agreed to take them in if this does happen). I have had my cats since they were 3 months old and I love them too much to ever part with them. I was born into a home with a cat and a dog and nothing horrible happened.
I just cannot get over the fact that pets are treated like disposable items by so many people.
DD2: February 2014
I'm glad that you're looking into it! I hope your vet is able to come up with a great plan for your kitty.
(A urinalysis with microscopic examination should reveal if there's a UTI & you may find crystals, as well. Sometimes you need an ultrasound or x-ray to find things like stones, although I wouldn't suspect those as much in such a young girl.) Best of luck, & please keep us posted!
So you think it is better to give your dog up to a shelter or another family that he/she doesn't know then to restrict the dog from going into a room?
That makes a lot of sense.
Let's see. I cry when I have to drop him off at the kennel when we go on vacation - a place that I know he adores - so I could never get rid of him. He's still a puppy (18-months) so we have plenty of frustrations with him still, but I got him knowing we were going to have human babies and I put a lot of time into training him. He's not perfect and I know we are going to have to work with him to make sure that everything goes smoothly with him and the baby. He's going to go through a lot of changes (we moved from Chicago to a temporary home in Ohio in December, we're moving into our permanent home in February and of course the baby come April) and I think he'll need some extra love and understanding to help him adjust. If he ever showed aggression or acted out toward the baby we would be bringing in a behaviorist and exhausting every possible option.
Sometimes I'll randomly think about him dying (I don't know why these morbid things pop into my head), and I will start sobbing. I can't imagine our life without him. He knows we are his parents and even when he's at my parents where he receives plenty of love and plays with their lab, my mom says he still spends 30 minutes or waiting by the door for us to come back. I can't imagine how he would feel if we abandoned him.
Which is worse? Taking a dog that used to being free in the house and keeping them restricted and lonely, or providing them a new home where they will receive the attention they need? Neither are fabulous options.
What I'm saying is this: if you have a pet who has pottty problems, you'll have to keep it out of any room where a child is on the floor. If you have an aggressive animal, you'll have to keep it away from the baby at all times. WHich means that most of the time, the pet may only get one person's attention when they are used to having love from both people. People say that dog's aren't inanimate objects that are present only at the convenience of the owners. It's not only "your dog" when the baby is sleeping or when you take a trip to the computer room. At times isolating/crating an animal is completely acceptable. However, if your animal's behavior means a complete lifestyle change for the pet when the baby arrives, it doesn;t make you some horrible ogre if you consider maintaining the lifestyle the animal is used to, even if it's not with you.
TTC/BFP/FF details in bio