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March 2011 Moms
Having a shower, but I don't really want a registry...
Looking for input on this, since I've never actually been to a baby shower!
3 of my friends are putting together a shower for me some time in February, and I'd figure probably 19 couples will be invited, with about 10 actually attending (so about 20 guests).
DH and I are, thankfully, fairly comfortable financially, probably more so than most of our friends/family. We can afford to buy all the "necessary" baby things ourselves, and I enjoy shopping/finding deals on Craigslist. Obviously I'm not publicizing that to anyone, but in our case, it feels like a registry would feel like unloading our shopping list onto people who are less able to afford it (and just to say, I have no problems with registries in general! that's just how it feels in this particular case).
What I want more than anything from this shower is to get as many of our friends/family as possible together for a party, to feel connected to our community, and to give our LO things that will someday let her know how much her "aunts" and "uncles" were looking forward to her arrival. I really like the idea of asking everyone for a children's book of some kind that meant something to them as children, with a note written inside for the future LO explaining why they chose it. I'd be super thrilled with a bunch of those books as gifts, and nothing else, though I'd assume that some people would have a hard time not also buying onesies and cute socks, etc.
But what I'm wondering is if I'm undermining the whole "shower" thing by requesting that? The 3 friends planning this are a professional wedding cake baker, a pro event planner, and a pro graphic designer, and I don't want all of what I'm sure will be a lot of effort on their part to go into something that doesn't feel like a "real shower" because there isn't a registry and stuff like car seats, pack and plays, and other "big stuff" to ooh and ahh over.
Sorry that's so long! If you made it through all that, what do you think? I'm not stressing about it or anything, but I just want to make sure I don't make any decisions that screw up the planner's work or make the guests feel weird. 
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Re: Having a shower, but I don't really want a registry...
My initial reply is that registries were invented so that you could tell well-wishers and guests things that you need or want indirectly so that they can make an easy decision when it comes time to buy you a gift.
That being said, I actually did run into a lady and her daughter at a bookstore last Wednesday who were attending a "book shower." The lady explained that because it was a situation where the couple had everything they needed for the baby, the group of friends had gotten together and decided that they would give her books. She was buying everything - Dr. Seuss, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, Love You Forever, etc. I think it's a great idea! We've added a lot of books to our registry, and I'm actually hoping to get a few of them in the coming months!
Also, bear in mind, that even when you do have a registry, not everyone sticks to it, and will buy you a gift of their own volition. I've witnessed it twice in the last 2 months - the mother-to-be got a TON of cute onesies and gadgets that she didn't register for, but the giver felt that she needed them, and may have overlooked them in the registering process. So you may actually end up with a few gifts even though you're not building a registry.
So in short, I think a "book shower" is a perfect idea. Just let all your guests know that in lieu of diapers, clothes, bassinets, crib bedding, etc. you'd just like a personalized message in their favorite baby books from each of them. And when your LO grows up, she'll be able to read the inscriptions and know how much everybody celebrated her arrival in a special way.
Asking your guests to bring a book or perhaps their favorite book growing up to add to your LO's library could be added to the invite instead of advertising where you're registered (or if you don't even want to register--I know it gave DH a headache...lol). We did that for a friend's baby shower and in turn, she's doing the same thing for me
.
I didn't mention where I was registered when I was married and I found that a lot of people wrote checks or gave cash so if no registry is mentioned, you might get gift cards for the LO.
For our wedding, we had a Polaroid guestbook--I guess nowadays, it's been replaced with photobooths! We had a Polaroid camera by our guestbook that fit the pictures so everyone could snap a pic, put it in the book and write a note. Maybe do something similar for the LO? It'd be neat to have him/her look back and read everything people wrote when he/she's older.
Me: 31, DH: 34, Married 5/29/05
BFP #1: 6/22/10, EDD 3/6/11, DS born 2/25/11 @ 38w5d
BFP #2: 7/27/13, EDD 4/9/14, CP 8/3/13
BFP #3: 8/31/13, EDD 5/10/13, DD born med-free 5/9/14 @ 39w6d
I love the idea of asking guests to bring children's books. :-)
In addition, maybe you could consider making a small registry and just putting little things on it (like receiving blankets, washcloths, baby toys, bottles, etc.) so if people want to buy you something else, at least they'll know what you want and you won't get duplicates of things.
I see no reason you need to put big items like strollers and carseats on your registry, especially due to the situation you described. But like you said, it would still be nice to have a get together with your close friends and family and celebrate the upcoming arrival of your LO.
I have been to several showers that have done books instead of cards. The giver writes a little message to baby in the front of the book. I thought that was cute.
I was in a similar position to you in the fact that we had been handed down so much and we bought the rest, so we didn't need anything. So when my co-workers suggested a shower, I was in the same position.
We turned it into a baby supply drive for our local shelter. We advertised that since Baby L was so blessed and all set with stuff, bring a supply for a baby who may not be as fortunate, and that all supplies will be donated to our local shelter. It was a HUGE hit!
We're having a shower after the baby is born by which point we should have everything we need. I had been building a list of my fave children's books for a while now and it just occured to me to send the list along to my shower planners so they know what to tell people to get. I'd rather them help build LO's library than give me stuff he'll outgrow in no time flat.