Anyone else not feel a connection yet?

katie4253 · December 2010

I just don't. I am excited. I liked seeing the baby yesterday. But this whole thing doesn't even feel real. I think I might be a mom that just doesn't feel a connection until after the birth.

I want to, but just don't.

MarshaBrady · December 2010

Maybe you will once you start feeling LO move. I have my u/s pic stuck to a bulletin board next to my computer screen at work and another copy in my kitchen at home. I smile every time I look at it, but it doesn't exactly feel real - like, holy cow, that's MY baby.

NatesWife81510 · December 2010

So Glad you posted this, because I feel that way too. Like I see the baby on the screen at scans and I'm excited and happy but it is like there is a disconnect from my brain seeing the screen and processing that it IS MY BABY on the screen....Like I look at our ultrasound pictures and for some reason it just doesn't seem like I'm looking at MY BABY, I still feel like I'm looking at a friend's ultrasound pictures. I keep thinking that once I find out if it is a boy or girl I will feel more connected but I dunno..

Thanks for posting I don't feel so alone with this now!

greenbean79 · December 2010

I definitely don't feel a connection yet. I want to also..but don't. Not sure when that will happen. Maybe its just way too early?

katie4253 · December 2010

NatesWife81510:
So Glad you posted this, because I feel that way too. Like I see the baby on the screen at scans and I'm excited and happy but it is like there is a disconnect from my brain seeing the screen and processing that it IS MY BABY on the screen....Like I look at our ultrasound pictures and for some reason it just doesn't seem like I'm looking at MY BABY, I still feel like I'm looking at a friend's ultrasound pictures. I keep thinking that once I find out if it is a boy or girl I will feel more connected but I dunno..
Thanks for posting I don't feel so alone with this now!

YES! When I look at the u/s pics it seems like I am looking at some other person's pic. Even though my name is on top of the u/s pic I feel like I am looking at suzie smith's u/s pic. DH feels way more connected to the u/s pics than I do. He knows he is looking at my pic. LOL!

I really have my doubts that I'll feel like anything is really real until the nursery is done and we are close to birth. I really doubt movement will make me feel more connected. We'll see I guess.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. Just not connected.

katie4253 · December 2010

dup

Mrs.Leah.Maria · December 2010

I honestly didn't feel a connection with DS until he was born. I thought it would help to know he was a boy, but it only marginally did.

I hope to get DH to agree to a name this time after we fine out the sex, because I really think that that would help me.

damabo80 · December 2010

I don't feel a connection yet, but that's on purpose. I don't want to get too attached, in case there's bad news at the NT scan next week. I think after the scan, I'll feel better about getting attached.

braveangel2 · December 2010

It's okay - I referred to my first as a parasite for the longest time. It wasn't until I felt her kick that I felt anything. I was a pretty rational person before I had her. Now I'm a hot mess of emotional crazy. I'm over the moon for her. My friend didn't even like her son when he was born, but she adores him now. *shrugs* Everyone is different, and that's okay. As long as the health is important, I don't see anything wrong with it.

KendraJoette · December 2010

I was that way with my daughter and I feel that way again. (I thought it would be more real to me this time, but not really) But once they are here it is different, DD is my whole world. The bond we have is amazing, so dont worry!

littleprettyx · December 2010

i know exactly what you're saying.

i want to. but i just. dont. i keep thinking that when i LOOK pregnant maybe it'll help. right now im in normal clothes looking the same as ever. i had no ms at all. i honestly get marginally annoyed when other people (read: MIL) are more excited than i am. i basically shut it all out then get myself upset over it.

people have been asking me "so what have you done so far?!" and i basically give them a horrified look and respond: "nothing? i dont know."

i feel guilty that i basically feel indifference.

Brady77 · December 2010

I don't either. My H even commented after the dating u/s that I didn't seem that excited. I felt really bad about that, it isn't that I am not excited, it just doesn't seem real to me yet.

I suspect once I get a good swift kick in the gut it will seem real to me I did have my first baby dream two nights ago and the LO was a boy. I guess we will find out if that is true in July.

I am not a sentimental type and sometimes I need to remember H is and try and show a bit more emotion about things.

dairygirl19 · December 2010

Right there with you. I'm happy thrilled and excited. If I wasn't sick I'd forget I was pregnant though.

I never felt connected to Hope while pregant either. I think I need a baby physically in my arms and then it'll be LOVE! I feel more connected to other people's newborns than I do my own in the womb right now.

More flameworthy: While I love and cherish everything I went through with Hope, miss her dearly and learned a lot, if you ask me if I'm connected to her the answer is, "No." I can't explain it but I'm just not.

Noelle2375 · December 2010

I felt that way with DD until I felt her move. It was amazing. And then when I started to show and got bigger I became very connected.

I am not connected yet with this one but that is probably because I am not having any symptoms besides sore boobs so I keep "forgetting" I am pregnant. lol

kateisgreat · December 2010

My DH refused to even talk about this pregnancy until he came to my first appt with me. I have been cautiously excited, but tried not to get too attached until I went to the NT scan and saw the baby bouncing around. I can't help myself now- I'm in love

I don't see anything wrong with not feeling too connected. You may feel differently once the baby starts moving, but you may not feel a connection until a week after s/he is born.... either way I'm sure you will love your baby.

LynnInLove1007 · December 2010

Don't worry too much about it. When the time is right you will feel connected.

Sometimes I forget i'm pregnant. Like when I think about a glass of wine and suddenly remember I cannot have one.

katie4253 · December 2010

dairygirl19:
Right there with you. I'm happy thrilled and excited. If I wasn't sick I'd forget I was pregnant though.

I never felt connected to Hope while pregant either. I think I need a baby physically in my arms and then it'll be LOVE! I feel more connected to other people's newborns than I do my own in the womb right now.

More flameworthy: While I love and cherish everything I went through with Hope, miss her dearly and learned a lot, if you ask me if I'm connected to her the answer is, "No." I can't explain it but I'm just not.

I think this was self preservation. I cannot imagine anything different. Especially after what you went though. I know you got hard time for not holding her, but I can't say that I would have either.

Not fameworthy imo. Anyone who would be flaming you has probably not been through anything compared to what you went through.

Five_letter · December 2010

I'm in the same boat with the rest of you.

tedaurie · December 2010

I didn't really feel the connection until my first u/s. As soon as I saw that LO, with the finger and toes waving away, and the heartbeat fluttering, it was all over. This little is my new best friend. I'll probably be one of those clingy moms which isn't always a good thing :-)

hcdekarske · December 2010

I feel better to know there are others who feel the same. I don't feel connected and I feel bad. I feel bad for not having bought anything yet or not talking about it 1,000 times a day or sometimes "forgeting" I am pregnant. All of it.

jesstellina · December 2010

I love the baby already. That became a lot more intense after our second ultrasound, at 10.5 weeks, when the baby was moving around and looked more like a baby. But I totally know what everybody means - I love watching the U/S screen, but I don't feel like they're looking in my body! There is some kind of disconnect there. Like other posters, I'm thinking it'll seem more real when I can feel him/her moving around and when I'm showing more. I got really happy and emotional when I opened gifts for the baby, and when my hubby set up some of the baby furniture at our house, but again, I still don't really feel like this is all for a person who's actually inside of me!

MadMarkos · December 2010

So happy someone had the guts to write this. Thanks Jesstellina!!!! Wish that I had read this sooner. Over the last few weeks I felt like it was a "disease" rather than a pregnancy because I hadn't seen a face or actually heard the heartbeat. All I know is that I am sicker than ever, hate eating (which is one of my fondest hobbies), and tired. It did help hearing the heart beat and seeing the baby in the sonogram. But even then my fears and physical state can outweigh the excitement. We were TTC and obviously I love this baby but still feel like it's a stranger or a parasite invading my stomach!

So moms please help here! What helps? Patience? Time? Seeing this baby as it grows? Share please.

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