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May 2011 Moms
UPDATE: Poor Bella....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: UPDATE: Poor Bella....
I'm sorry, but there are more humane ways to let go of an animal.
You adopted her or brought her into your home and now you've just let her out in the cold and think it's a blessing that she may have died? Awful.
I think a lot of people may not get the indoor/outdoor cat thing. I grew up in the south, where it didn't get really cold in the winter. We lived in the country and always had tons of stray animals. All of "our" animals (not the strays) were indoor/outdoor. So, I think there is a difference between puting your cat outside and "kicking it out." Like, you kicked out your lazy roomate. If your cat were truly indoor/outdoor, and you were having to clean up something the cat did, I can understand letting the cat out.
I am giving you the benifit of the doubt and believe your "blessing in disguise" was either a poor choice of words, or an effort to look on the bright side of a horrible situation. It seems like you have made a genuine effort to look for your kitty. If it eases your mind to believe your cat has found a home, then believe that. You do have to move on because stressing over it isn't good for you or baby. I agree that you shouldn't get any more animals for a while. Not because I believe you are a bad pet owner, but because things are probably a little overwhelming right now. And, that will just get worse after the baby is born.
Good luck, and I pray that Bella is safe.
I did my research.... Statistically mostly indoor cats that wander too far are usually within 100feet of the house and aren't able to find their way home. If they get scared they might dart a few times usually they are within 200ft, hense the 2 lots which cover over the next street on each side of my house. Someone who cares for their cat wouldn't go down a mile in each direction and put flyers on mailboxes calling and calling. Not including the flyers on the stop signs... Getting scratches on their face from jumping over fences....
& thanks for the heartless remark of "I'm going to give my cat a treat and lots of cuddles right now" because I would do anything for that... You don't know me or how much I love my kitty, and I had NO IDEA my post would get this much negative attention with maybe 3 people who actually realize the depth of what I went through and this is my attempt to get over it.
Not everyone is going to stop to look at the signs. If it had been me, I still would've knocked on each door at least a mile in each direction. Research be damned. I don't know how someone can get over losing an animal so fast either. I know stress is bad in pregnancy but being able to grieve properly is very important.
11/2013- Diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis
07/2014- emergency surgery to remove hemorrhaging cyst first RE missed, removed endo from fallopian tubes, hsg done, d&c performed to remove polyphs in uterus, femvue done, put on dexamethasone and metformin
08/2014- miscarriage, second RE refuses to mark down in charts, switch again
03/2016- IUI #1, waiting for results on April 17
Well it really sucks that I didn't have you around to come knock on doors with me since I could only go before and after work when it is dark. Sorry I didn't feel comfortable going too far away off our street in the dark without my husband who doesn't get home until 7:30 and then he has to eat. So we make our venture together around 8:30 or 9 each night, when people are looking at us like we are the rudest people on earth for knocking on their door at 9 at night and we don't even know them so we can "search their backyard". We got home around 10, and repeat and repeat night after night. Not including driving all the way home on my lunchbreak to take the 20 minutes I have left to eat to look for Bell... You don't know what you are talking about or the extent I looked for Bella... Maybe I could have hired you to go looking while I kept my job...... Which gives me insurance so I can take care of my child.
I really don't know what world you live in, because mine isn't safe enough to go wandering by myself doorstep to doorstep in the dark alone. I can die saying I gave and still give searching for Bell an honest and true chance.
P.S. I've repeatedly said I will never be over Bella's disappearance/ death/ who knows what happened to her... but I think now, because this is real life I have to be real and face that I probably will never see her again, so I am starting to think that way.
You should have specified instead of saying you only looked 2 lots in each direction then maybe? If you don't like looking at night then go on the weekends. Just an idea....And quite frankly I wouldn't be complaining about having to work when many of us do not have jobs so yeah, that would have been really terrific if you had hired me to go looking, I would have done it gladly.
11/2013- Diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis
07/2014- emergency surgery to remove hemorrhaging cyst first RE missed, removed endo from fallopian tubes, hsg done, d&c performed to remove polyphs in uterus, femvue done, put on dexamethasone and metformin
08/2014- miscarriage, second RE refuses to mark down in charts, switch again
03/2016- IUI #1, waiting for results on April 17
I never once complained about my job, I would never do that because I LOVE my job and am very thankful to have one! I said "Maybe I could have hired you to go looking while I kept my job...... Which gives me insurance so I can take care of my child." ~ This is strictly factual, I said this to get you off my case of what felt like you were implying, me being a horrible pet owner.
The thing is this is a comment board, if I were to put every detail of my search on here it would take up WAY TOO many characters... I honestly wish I could have hired you, becuase my love for Bell none of you will understand. I cried this morning and am still teary eyed from the horrible and mean comments about me that my stupid "UPDATE" brought. I would have never posted it if I knew those words would be flung at me, and I would have NEVER NEVER NEVER ever attempt to make Bella an indoor outdoor cat if I knew this would happen or if I knew the weather would make an all time low since 1988 in Columbia, South Carolina in December. I just wish people would get to know the whole story and all my attempts before placing judgements and spitting my kitty's possible death in my face, all because I wanted to make her indoor outdoor.
P.S. She was let out in the backyard not thrown in the street, which she had been doing for two weeks.
Yeah, as a total animal advocate, I'll bite.
Perhaps she is nowhere to be found because she got run over by a car and animal control swept her off the road before you went back out to look for her?
Just the idea of my animal getting outside and me not being able to find her makes me feel sick to my stomach.
This is one of the most upsetting NBR posts I've seen around here. I truly do hope she is warm and safe in someone's home.
I haven't seen her carcass, believe me I have looked for that too. Animal control has her description and I look daily at the photos that are picked up in my county. Good ideas but they have been checked off my list... This is exactly why I am sick to my stomach and why I am starting to let go.
So you kicked her out because she was being a cat? Please don't get another cat, stick with your dog. And if it starts doing something dog like that annoys you take it to the shelter.
Oh my goodness, yes we have all established it including myself that it was stupid to make her an indoor outdoor cat... dang read the whole post. To make it quick for you, I've been bashed for admitting to my stupid act of the year (who doesn't let an indoor outdoor animal into their backyard when they need to get energy out)... I regret it and feel horrible. Your point had been made 30 times before so please just post when you have something new and relevent to add to the discussion.
And for the last time, I didn't KICK her out, I opened the door and let her walk out which we had been freaking training her to do for the past two weeks prior to her disapearance.
Oh, and if you didn't read I've scalled the neighborhoods, climbed over fences, put up flyers called animal control, added their website to my favorites so I can look daily at the different pictures... knocked on strangers doors and asked if I could look in their backyard, put up flyers knocked on doors with flyers (yet alot of people weren't home because we have things called jobs). Stayed up crying for night after night, so unless you have something useful in helping me find her or some freaking condolences, please go away.
This. I have (3) cats and the thought of kicking any of them out is really sad. I understand that your situation is different, since your cat was already a partial outdoor cat, but I think the way you worded your post is what is getting everyone upset.
The fact is that cats are animals. The shedding can be reduced by brushing daily, bathing weekly or by adopting a shorthair. It's in their nature to mess with dangling ornaments on a tree. Our kitten did this for weeks (and drank out of the tree water), so we just monitored her while near the tree and spritzed her with water from a spray bottle if she got completely out of control. If it got bad enough, we'd put her in the guest room for a little bit. Yes, it was frustrating to have to do this and to come home and have to clean up ornaments and pine needles daily, but she's a cat.. And she doesn't understand that what she's doing is wrong. Our other cat poops on the floor daily, but I do not ever plan on kicking her out just because she's upset me a few times.
While I understand your frustration, I don't understand how you can be content with the fact that your cat did not come home. I'd be an absolute mess..
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Honestly, I think you're beating a dead horse. I think people would have stopped posting long ago if you would have stopped replying. You've made your points, everyone has had their say, I think you need to just let it go and realize everyone's not going to agree with you.
Honestly, I think you're beating a dead horse. I think people would have stopped posting long ago if you would have stopped replying. You've made your point, everyone has had their say, I think you need to just let it go and realize everyone's not going to agree with you.
I get this... Seriously shes almost two years old she not a tiny kitten anymore and we use the water trick. I think she did know because when I would hear clank clank clank I would walk in the room with out squirter and she would dart away... she had sooo much freaking energy we decided it was best to let her start exploring the fun in both worlds (which all of our cats growing up loved). In addition she didn't know the scent of our house as well because we had only been in the house 3 weeks when she got away. I'm not content, I'm hurt, but what do I have to do, wipe my eyes and put my big girl panties on and accept reality that odds are against me right now, it doesn't by any means take away the hurt or guilt, but as I said in my original (i wish I never posted it post) "The guilt will fade" in addition to the hurt.
P.S. This update was requested by the commenters in my original post and I wan't them to know i haven't found her, I don't know her fate, I wish I did, but I have to not let it get the best of me. I never once claimed it didn't hurt anymore, so those who didn't know the whole story I figured who go back to the original post.... Who knows... What's done is done and I cannot change the past, I can't change this stupid topic... but Will I ever make a primarily indoor cat indoor outdoor again, Heck no! I hope others learned from my mistake too!
Oh no!! That's terrible!! Poor kitty!! Cute name, though!! I have a cousin named Rachel!
..I've never done something irrational that could lead to the death of an animal just because I was angry. I'm sitting here considering my 2 year old beagle who more often than not makes me want to scream with frustration because she's practically a velcro dog now that I'm pregnant and whines without end...and the thought of her getting out and possibly getting hurt, stolen, killed, starving is enough to make my stomach go into knots.
What are you going to do when you're kid pisses you off by getting in the way and making you frustrated? You kind of need to learn that like babies, pets aren't quite up there in the, "perhaps I should reconsider my actions as it seems like mom just isn't interested in my shenanigans right now" thought processes...
blaming hormones on being an cruel over reacting freak is hilarious.
toddlers screw up x-mas trees way more than a cat (i know, a kid is not the same as a cat, but if you can't keep your self in check with one why would you be able to keep yourself in check with anything else?)
You should have listed to me and DD the post! I was understanding in the beginning but I'm reading your responses and it just doesn't make sense. You moved to a new house and a week into being there you decided that you want your 2 year old cat become an indoor/outdoor cat in the middle of the winter? It doesn't sound well thought through, you didn't put a collar on this animal and you didn't supervise the first few weeks as well as it's a new environment and anyone that owns pets knows that it takes a while for them to adjust.
Also, your husband was working and then he needed to eat? So he couldn't eat a granola bar or something go look for the kitty and then eat? I would have taken a couple of days off from work to go look for my pet because I would not be able to function thinking that he/she might be out there hurt or starving or freezing and you're worried about your husband having dinner? Really? Major side eye....
Yeah, leaving your pet to die outside of exposure so you don't have to get hair off your pants is totally a blessing. I am so happy for you!
Oh, and you are a sh!tty person.
RIP sweet Bella.
This. The thought of getting rid of my pets, let alone doing something which might seal their death, has never crossed my mind.
Also, baby poop, pee and vomit is 100 times worse than pet hair or hair balls. You can't kick the baby out.
40/112
I completely agree with this post. OP, you keep saying how you were a great pet owner, but SO many things you've mentioned lead me to the opposite conclusion. I have 3 strictly indoor cats with collars and tags, because you never know what cats can do.
Also, by "training" her to be an indoor/outdoor cat, you are effectively shortening her lifespan by half. Statistically. Clearly you shortened it by a hell of a lot more than half. But letting cats outside because they "want to" go out is GREAT for exposing them to disease, predators, accidents, exposure, cruel human beings, or stealing. Seriously, grow up and learn how to take care of an animal properly before you get another one. I know you think you've "rescued" strays, but NO rescue organization would even let you consider letting your cat outside. Ever.
40/112
1) Babies play with Christmas ornaments. Babies EAT Christmas ornaments. Babies BREAK Christmas ornaments. And when I say "babies" - I mean anyone under the age of 10 years old. Even if you tell them NO, they still do it. Good luck with that. Glad your ornaments are worth more than a life.
2) Don't like white fur on your clothing? Just wait until you go out in public and realize there is snot, food and what-have-you on your shirt. It happens. Even if you check yourself before you leave, it somehow shows up. And this happens not just when baby is an infant, but for the first few years.
Maybe you can train your baby to be inside/outside? She can crawl through a doggie door or sleep in the garage so your ornaments and clothes don't get eff'ed up.
You are a real peach and sound like a simply wonderful human being. Very understanding, generous and loving. Wish more people were like you. *snort*
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11
Coming out of lurkdom to say that you are a selfish b!tch. Thats exactly what you are is SELFISH. Blessing in disquise my a$$. I hope you don't own a pet ever again.
I hope someone reports to for animal cruelty. Seriously! Who the eff says a dead pet is a blessing?
you're sick.
Wow. I think for the first time ever, I actually do feel sorry for any future children you may have.
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
First, not all cats die from exposure, so I do think people are being a little over dramatic about that. Cats are resourceful little creatures. Just ask Kiki, my sisters cat who showed up again after 6 months and a freezing Michigan winter.
I hope she shows back up at your house, just like my sisters cat did. Now that would be amazingly ironic. And hopefully it will coincide with the baby coming so that you are hit really hard with the karma stick. lol