- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
May 2011 Moms
UPDATE: Poor Bella....
So, I wrote a week or so ago about my precious tabby siamese cat Bella, who I let out in a hormonal rant... and she never came back 
.
I have come to accept that she is either with a happy home and made somebody's Christmas, or that she died in the cold somewhere... Either way, I think it was a blessing in disguise, although I would do anything to take it back... I don't have white fur all over everything! I don't have to lint brush my clothes 10 X a day at work! I don't have a gross litter box to deal with that my dog (Xena) loves to eat out of....
The guilt of Bella's fate resting on me will fade, and I've come to the conclusion this is a blessing in disguise with little Rachel on the way! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: UPDATE: Poor Bella....
Letting your cat outside and it possibly dying of exposure or starvation is a blessing in disguise?
I'm pretty sure my guilt on that one would never, ever fade.
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
Agreed 100%.
I am trying to understand but wow I don't think I would be OK with this so fast...I cried for days everytime I had to give my foster kittens back so they can be adopted, I had 2 cats that where with me for 2 years and till this day I miss them....I do understand it being easier with the baby coming but seriously, people need to think about their life, like 20 years of it, before they get a pet. I have 2 dogs and yes there are times when I wish I didn't have hair all over and my allergies are especially bad since becoming pregnant but I would not think about giving them away unless they pose any type of danger to my child. I'm sorry but the thought of your kitty freezing to death is very upsetting....
I'm not mad at you (lol) , I know it wasn't your fault...just saying...
THIS. omg.
On second thought you should consider DD this before it explodes.
Normally I am not an advocate for DD'ing but this is effing awful.
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
Well the fact that I have NO IDEA what happened, she is a smart kitty (who lived outside without anyone for the first 4 months of her life before I found her), she is extremely beautiful..... I looked literally in every inch of the two lots in every direction from my house for 5 days straight, put up flyers on every stop sign and mailbox in out neighborhood and still NO SIGN... My husband is set that someone found her and because she is so beautiful took her in... and isn't responding to my flyers because they want to keep her.
It has taken almost two weeks for me to stop crying myself to sleep at night... But I've come to a peace because I don't know what happened... and everyone really believes she was taken in.
The fact is I am going to have to go on with my life with or without Bella and if I let it keep me depressed, it won't be good for me or our baby, which is my priority.
Does that make sense?
One of my cats got out yesterday and I am a wreck
He hasn't come home yet. Is he annoying at times? Yes. Does he cough up hairballs and shed everywhere? Yes. Does he sometimes pee in the bathtub? Yes, and I HATE that! But the thought of him out there in the snow and cold is absolutely breaking my heart and I will deal with the hairballs and the pee in the bathtub for the rest of his life if he just comes home 
So I don't really see the whole "blessing in disguise" thing.
Oh Gee. Out of all the things to blame on hormones - kicking your cat out in the cold to possibly freeze because you are sick of shedding is not one of them. Animals are much easier to deal with than babies.
Did you call shelters or knock on some neighbors' doors? Maybe put some signs out? There is an in-between here and that is your pet has not found a warm, loving home but hasn't frozen to death - yet. Maybe he/she has managed to survive outside so far, maybe somebody is leaving food outside but will not take him/her in. I'd do a little more to try and find your pet before you chalk it up to a blessing in disguise. I might sound harsh - I have a fuzz-ball of a pomeranian and his antics have been driving me insane, but I'd be going nuts looking for him especially if I kicked him out for something he can't control and something horrible happened. I'd never get over it.
Aw honey, I hope he comes home
((hugs))
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
I do want to clarify that I am about to cry right here and work, because I did not mean for it to sound SO heartless and whoever said I should have thought about this before having children. I adopted her and planned on keeping her forever despite cat hair... I did not give up so soon, I'm still calling for her and looking when we go on walks, I just cannot let it consume me anymore... I am an animal lover, clearly I still have my precious Xena (german shepherd) and have considered getting another kitten, but am going to wait until I find another stray.
I have taken in 3 cats in the past year and a half and gotten them back to health and found good homes for them....
This was my thoughts. Cats are pretty hearty creatures and might have went to your neighbors. My cats went missing over Thanksgiving and they ended up in the neighbor's garage. I didn't let them out, they some how escaped and I was scared they wouldn't come back. We were going to put an ad in the local paper and at the vets office in town (Our paper only comes out once a week).
I really hope he comes home! My kitty got out about 2 years ago and it just happened to be on one of the colder nights we had that winter. I guess I never closed my front door tight and it opened up and out he went. I blamed myself for days and days. I was out every single day and night trying to find him. I was a wreck. Thank God he ended up making his way home and my husband heard him meowing at our front door around 4am. He was my baby before I was able to have children, so it was absolutely heartbreaking. He can be super annoying at times, but I would rather him safe with me than out on the streets facing God knows what.
I live in COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA where it is 50 degrees in the afternoon and sometimes gets down below 32 at night....
Again, to clarify we have been working with her to be indoor outdoor which is how we trained our cats growing up and they were fine. She had just wripped down ornaments off the tree and I had to get her out of the house... Do I regret it with every bone in my body... Did I do more than your suggested in your second paragraph, YES!!!
But when would you move on....
Statistically I know what happened to her and it breaks my heart... But I really am a glass half full kind of person and it took everyone conviencing me she has to be in someones house by a fire, because she is literally NO WHERE to be found.
I really hope you find him... I wish I could rephrase my "blessing in disguise" aparently it did not get what I was meaning or feeling across, I just sound like a heartless cat hating Bia... which i'm not
I normally stay far away from these posts, but this one I have to comment on. You kicked your cat out in the winter because it was playing with ornaments... thats what cats do. You mentioned in a post earlier that you were thinking of adpoting another kitten. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. You don't kick a cat out for being a cat. Stick with your dog.
I am sitting here thinking of things my cat could do for me to kick him out, and I cant come up with one. He could scratch up my stainless applicanes, pee on my Coach bags, I dunno.. I cant come up with anything, not a single thing, let alone something as silly as "wripping" down some ornaments.I love that big guy, and I would be devastated to ever lose him, let alone throw him out.
I don't think you need to rephrase your 'blessing in disguise' comment, b/c it's pretty clear by your follow-up posts that that is exactly how you feel.
BTW, getting defensive isn't helping your case any. YWIA.
Your a really mean sounding lady, Please read all of my posts before you reach to conclusions and judgements. I truely love Bella, all animals! Have you ever done something irrational without thinking (I know you have everyone has) and regretted it the rest of your life... well this is mine. I love cats and have always had cats and for you to suggest me not getting another one, that is mean. I said earlier I wish I could rephrase my "Blessing in disguise" because it's apparently not what i meant for it to come across as....
So you wouldn't let an indoor, outdoor cat out if they were getting into something that you had to clean up?
I get it, but when would you personally let it stop consuming your every thought? Seriously.
No darling, you don't get it.
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
This times ten.
Help me then... You can be honest, Kerr, because I do respect what you have to say.
Pot calling the kettle black?
And the answer to your question is no, I wouldn't let an indoor/outdoor cat out if they were getting into something I had to clean up.
I hope she is with another family. It would be tragic if she died in the cold or got hit by a car or something.
I had to put my cat down after a horrible fight with cancer that lasted over a year in May of 09 and I still cry over her. No offense but I would give anything to have white fur on my coat and clothes again.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Some part of you is relieved that he is gone.
This would be fine if you placed him in a good home.
Instead, you let him out in a fit of rage over some Christmas ornaments and have no idea of his whereabouts.
Your friends and DH are telling you someone took him in and he is safe and warm because reality SUCKS. Reality is that no one knows if he is ok and that is YOUR fault for over reacting and letting him outside. You should be upset/stressed over it.
Please do not adopt any more stray animals. Pets are a lot of work as you know and you're clearly just not up to the task anymore.DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
I may let my 18 month old outside though if he made a mess I had to clean up.
Totally joking, but that is how I treat my animals. The same as my children.
I don't know how I missed that "christmas tree ornament" part of the conversation above, but if I wasn't upset how she is acting about her cat getting out,I am now because she let the cat out on purpose into the cold weather. And this one you CAN'T blame on "pregnancy hormones".
I live in Charleston, SC, and it has gotten well below freezing a couple of nights lately. I don't think that you can justify your actions by claiming that it is warm enough outside for your cat.
Well if she was that tired of her cat she could have done the humane and responsible thing which was to find it a good home, not throw it out on the street and say well either she found a good home or froze to death, oh well, blessing in disguise! WTFE. You are dsisgusting and all your crap about "not wanting to sound heartless" is ridiculous, you don't SOUND heartless, YOU ARE HEARTLESS. I truly hope that cat found a good home with people who can understand that cats shed and knock things off the Christmas tree. What are you going to do when your child does something totally annoying, throw them in a dumpster?
LOL, please, don't be part of our horrible board then.
As for the OP, maybe it's a blessing in disguise for your cat that she found a better home. Please, don't get anymore animals.
Wedding/Honeymoon Pictures
I feel bad for her loss too but that doesn't make up for the horrible thing she said or letting the cat out into the cold in a fit of anger. If you can't take the honesty then there are other places you can visit. No one is being really mean to her or "ganging up" on her. We are telling her the truth.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I think this is valid to say, some part is relieved, and we did consider finding her a new home. Instead we opted on what I grew up doing by letting her be indoor outdoor... I shouldn't of let her out, Bottom line. I am upset and stressed, again especially now that what I know about the reality and statistics that she is probably dead because of me. I told my mom it's like saying "I hate you" to your best friend and then they die... In a rush to try and cover up that pain, I told myself it's a "blessing in disguise" but it's clearly not... Especially since my actions have now been thrown in my face when I opened up a can of worms.... my big fat ugly "UPDATE"....
I got bella in August of 2009 and we had NO idea we would be having a child almost 2 years later... I am not doing the adopting and finding homes thing because my priorities have changed. However I will take a cat in if it beats going to the kill pounds...
And for those who suggested I would treat my child like a cat, this would never happen. And please never undermind my love for my 21 week old little girl, because no one could ever care for her or give her the love and protection that I can. As heartless as I sounded about Bella, you sound the same about my child. On a bump board I think it is 100% unacceptable to say I will be crappy mom because I made a mistake with my cat....
Again, I truely have a heart and I am really sorry that I sound like a crazy person, because my actions with Bella were wrong and will haunt me the rest of my life despite what it may have sounded like to begin with.
I understand the PP comments, but can also understand what your going through. I have 2 cats, and love them dearly, but look at them in a different way now that LO is here. I'm a worry wort about germs and my LO, so having the cats throw up on the floor, shed everywhere, leave little litter bits (surly with uring and feces on them) on the floor my LO is on, now is difficult to handle. I would not get rid of my cats, I adopted them with the intent to raise and keep them till they pass, but, I can say that I'm looking forward to not having them anymore (and dont plan to get more afterwards either). It will be a weight off my shoulders once they are no longer in my home, until them, I'll continue to love and take care of them.
And I agree, its crazy for others to assume you should be in aguish forever over this. You did lots to find him/her, and now its time to move on........
I know, right? I always get amused when a lurker comes out of the woodwork with 12 posts proclaiming to GBCMay2011. My first thought is always that the OP has an AE.
Wow.
When DH and I got married and moved cross country I had a cat, well I lived with my mom and sister and "we" had a cat. She was my baby. I had my suitcase in the living room for about a week working on packing things up and she would always get in it and refuse to get out. I felt horrible leaving her. A few weeks later I get a call from my mother that she is gone. They let her out as usual, but she never came back. They looked for her for weeks, searching the neighborhood, putting up posters, offering a reward. A few people called saying they had her but when my mom and sister went to see it was never really her (wrong coloring, double toes, etc.) I still feel horrible to this day about it because I firmly believe she went looking for me, she was really my baby, always with me, always slept on my bed, etc. It was the summer time but I can't help thinking she died alone and sad somewhere, or that neighborhood kids hurt her. I will honestly never forgive myself for that even though I know there is nothing I could have done to prevent it, besides take her with me which wasn't an option.
I guess what I am trying to say is that animals are members of your family, not just pets. If you are honestly saying your cat disappearing and probably dying alone and cold is a "blessing" because now you don't have to deal with a litter box and cat hair...you probably shouldn't have had her in the first place. Sounds like you weren't really cut out for having a cat and dogs might be more your style, however, they shed too, FYI.
There is nothing that my dogs could to that would make me throw them out of the house onto the street. My younger dog ate the DRYWALL when she was a puppy.
I don't think you should beat yourself up over it for the rest of your life, but saying it was a blessing in disguise because you have a child on the way and you won't have to clean as much does indicate that maybe you shouldn't take on any more animals for a while.
Aside from this being truly horrible, I noticed you said you looked every inch of 2 lots over in both directions.
That's it?
If one of my kitties got out I would be knocking on all doors for miles in each direction. I wouldn't give up after 4 doors. You obviously do not care at all for your cat and this entire thread makes me just want to cry. I'm gonna go give my cat a treat and lots of cuddles right now.
11/2013- Diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis
07/2014- emergency surgery to remove hemorrhaging cyst first RE missed, removed endo from fallopian tubes, hsg done, d&c performed to remove polyphs in uterus, femvue done, put on dexamethasone and metformin
08/2014- miscarriage, second RE refuses to mark down in charts, switch again
03/2016- IUI #1, waiting for results on April 17
Yes my kitty & dog are both part of my family, hence why they made the Christmas card each year... I love Bella and I would have NEVER let her outside if I knew she would wander too far away... She had been going in and out for two weeks, I would have never thought she couldn't handle it. I have always had cats, my husband dogs, so you have no basis to say "sounds like you weren't really cut out for having a cat" because I have always had cats and nothing like this has ever happened.
P.S. Thanks for your sarcastic comment, but fluffy white fur that is more dlicate and small gets a lot more places than wirery, thick german sheperd hair, FYI.