What's the personality of this board?

shelbyluvschachi · December 2010

Going to start TTC #2 next month and wondering where the best fit would be for me. Last time I was on TTCAL after an early miscarriage, but it's pretty clear a mom with a baby already won't go over all that well on that board. Been lurking on this board and a wee bit on Babies on the Brain, but don't yet have a great sense for the vibe on either. Thoughts??

HappyAardvark · December 2010

Lurk more.

KdgTeacher · December 2010

HappyAardvark:
Lurk more.

Yes

sara99 · December 2010

To be perfectly honest, I'm sure that many of the women on here are great and supportive, but if you're a newbie - like I am - I've been taken aback at some of the comments to questions posted by people that border on belittling. Beware of posting questions that people will get surprisingly enraged at if they've heard it before, deem it ridiculous or god forbid it's been covered in the primer that's posted. It can certainly make some people gun shy about posting legitimate questions on a public forum. Flame away.

Teffie · December 2010

Post wherever you like, it's the internet. People aren't always going to be P&R this board, that's for sure, but I choose to ignore the snark and focus on all the helpful tidbits I've picked up from here. I've truly learned a lot. GL.

RhodyMomToBe · December 2010

sara99:
Beware of posting questions that people will get surprisingly enraged at if they've heard it before, deem it ridiculous or god forbid it's been covered in the primer that's posted.

Please clarify. Are you talking about questions that can easily be googled to find the answer to or the questions that are asked once and then again 3 posts later and then again 5 posts after that?

KdgTeacher · December 2010

sara99:
To be perfectly honest, I'm sure that many of the women on here are great and supportive, but if you're a newbie - like I am - I've been taken aback at some of the comments to questions posted by people that border on belittling. Beware of posting questions that people will get surprisingly enraged at if they've heard it before, deem it ridiculous or god forbid it's been covered in the primer that's posted. It can certainly make some people gun shy about posting legitimate questions on a public forum. Flame away.

Think about the bolded section from another point of view. Can you see how people may become "engraged" (as you say) when they answer the same question over and over and over and over and over again. Only to answer the same question again 3 minutes later. The "primer" is posted to answer a lot of those questions and have all that wonderful information in one place. There are ridiculous questions that can be asked on the internet--asking this board if you are pregnant is one of them. Do you truly think we can tell you?

I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here.

sara99 · December 2010

"I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here."

Thanks very much for validating my point. It seems like people are so quick to dismiss any dissenters, no matter how honest it was. And I get that people ask some inane questions and it's ridiculous for strangers to prognosticate on another person's pregnancy chances, but stop getting so pissed at the repetitive questions and don't feel obligated to answer every single one. And given the amount of activity on this particular board, who knows how many more posts could come in in the time it takes to write one.

KdgTeacher · December 2010

sara99:

"I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here."

Thanks very much for validating my point. It seems like people are so quick to dismiss any dissenters, no matter how honest it was. And I get that people ask some inane questions and it's ridiculous for strangers to prognosticate on another person's pregnancy chances, but stop getting so pissed at the repetitive questions and don't feel obligated to answer every single one. And given the amount of activity on this particular board, who knows how many more posts could come in in the time it takes to write one.

What good does it do the OP if there is no one to answer their question/point them where to go? If you feel people are being mean/rude (to yourself or others) then why on earth would you stick around?

reinstone · December 2010

sara99:
"I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here."
Thanks very much for validating my point. It seems like people are so quick to dismiss any dissenters, no matter how honest it was. And I get that people ask some inane questions and it's ridiculous for strangers to prognosticate on another person's pregnancy chances, but stop getting so pissed at the repetitive questions and don't feel obligated to answer every single one. And given the amount of activity on this particular board, who knows how many more posts could come in in the time it takes to write one.

I dare you to stick around to see how annoying they are.

RhodyMomToBe · December 2010

reinstone:
sara99:
"I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here."
Thanks very much for validating my point. It seems like people are so quick to dismiss any dissenters, no matter how honest it was. And I get that people ask some inane questions and it's ridiculous for strangers to prognosticate on another person's pregnancy chances, but stop getting so pissed at the repetitive questions and don't feel obligated to answer every single one. And given the amount of activity on this particular board, who knows how many more posts could come in in the time it takes to write one.

I dare you to stick around to see how annoying they are.

This.

PS - Rein, I'm CD 16 too!

lilmrsT86 · December 2010

I think I forecast a GBCB in my crystal ball! Wink

sara99 · December 2010

Snarkiness isn't a good color on anyone.

For those of us who have only a few minutes to lurk and ask the rare question, this board can be helpful. The occasional passive aggressive responses were simply surprising for what purports to be a supportive group of women with a common goal.

RhodyMomToBe · December 2010

sara99:
Snarkiness isn't a good color on anyone.
For those of us who have only a few minutes to lurk and ask the rare question, this board can be helpful. The occasional passive aggressive responses were simply surprising for what purports to be a supportive group of women with a common goal.

:::head desk:::

KdgTeacher · December 2010

sara99:

Snarkiness isn't a good color on anyone.

For those of us who have only a few minutes to lurk and ask the rare question, this board can be helpful. The occasional passive aggressive responses were simply surprising for what purports to be a supportive group of women with a common goal.

That's the kicker--this isn't a support group. This is an internet message board.

reinstone · December 2010

sara99:
Snarkiness isn't a good color on anyone.
For those of us who have only a few minutes to lurk and ask the rare question, this board can be helpful. The occasional passive aggressive responses were simply surprising for what purports to be a supportive group of women with a common goal.

Methinks you have the wrong expectations of what to expect from a message board.

lilmrsT86 · December 2010

Im sure your local community center has a support group of some kind. (if that is what you are looking for) This is not it.

Info. Yes. Common goal. Yes. Support. No. Please grow some thicker skin.

Mrs.Slick · December 2010

sara99:

Snarkiness isn't a good color on anyone.

For those of us who have only a few minutes to lurk and ask the rare question, this board can be helpful. The occasional passive aggressive responses were simply surprising for what purports to be a supportive group of women with a common goal.

I think it looks pretty good on me personally

sara99 · December 2010

"Support group" was never uttered in my post. I can discern the difference between the two, thanks. However, your sincere words of encouragement to each other and the level of familiarity that people have is misleading if you're so quick to dismiss that this board attempts to be (and perhaps fails at) 'supportive.'

End rant.

Good luck to all of the ladies.

lilmrsT86 · December 2010

sara99:

Snarkiness isn't a good color on anyone.

For those of us who have only a few minutes to lurk and ask the rare question, this board can be helpful. The occasional passive aggressive responses were simply surprising for what purports to be a supportive group of women with a common goal.

ok I am done. I think this mentions something along the lines of supportive group Confused

xnbride · December 2010

First of all, if you are TTC after a loss (regardless of whether you have a child at home or not) then you belong on that board and I am sorry that you do not feel as if you belong. I am not too familiar with the "atmosphere" these days, but when I was on there it was welcoming to everyone, but you just had to lurk for a bit and get to know everyone etc.

Second of all, (in regards to redundant posts) I do not get tired of hearing the same old posts. I guess if I did then I wouldn't be here right because I think I am a real "oldie." I have been here since before all the seperate boards when everything was on one board even before thebump.com came into existence.

Honestly, I have not learned everything there is to know about TTC and I feel that I have much to gleem here from others, but I also feel like I have alot to contribute too. Sometimes I post, sometimes I lurk, and sometimes I respond. It just depends on my mood, how much time I have, how compelled I am etc.

For me, this site has always been a place to relax and unwind so I try not to get too swept away in the drama. I think it just depends on what you are looking for and how you invest your time. Kind of like that saying, give to get. You get from it what you put in it.

Anyways, that is a really verbose way of saying welcome! I look forward to getting to know you.

RNsteph09 · December 2010

It is great here! Yes

I have "met" some great ladies on here.

StephK · December 2010

sara99:
"Support group" was never uttered in my post. I can discern the difference between the two, thanks. However, your sincere words of encouragement to each other and the level of familiarity that people have is misleading if you're so quick to dismiss that this board attempts to be (and perhaps fails at) 'supportive.'
End rant.
Good luck to all of the ladies.

Confused Wow, your attitude is lovely. If you would stop coming at the board looking for something to be offended by or feeling disrespected by, you might find the time to just relax, post and get to know other people.

The sincere words of encouragement we have are for people who have, unlike you, actually contributed to the board, we know them, and we genuinely care about them. The support you have noticed is NOT automatic for many people that post here. That is why you got the "this isn't a support group" response regardless of how you phrased your comment. The board is not automatically supportive of everyone. Are you supportive of random strangers that are lecturing you about what a mean person you are? I mean, really. Think about that for a second and then get back to me.

To the OP - the vibe of the board has shifted over the past few months to much more puppies and rainbows than it was when I started. I like to think of it as giving out knowledge, but snarking stupid questions, even with the P&R. Regardless, you get back from the board what you give to the board. I like it here. Welcome and good luck with TTC!

Kathy4678 · December 2010

StephK:
sara99:

"Support group" was never uttered in my post. I can discern the difference between the two, thanks. However, your sincere words of encouragement to each other and the level of familiarity that people have is misleading if you're so quick to dismiss that this board attempts to be (and perhaps fails at) 'supportive.'

End rant.

Good luck to all of the ladies.

Wow, your attitude is lovely. If you would stop coming at the board looking for something to be offended by or feeling disrespected by, you might find the time to just relax, post and get to know other people.

The sincere words of encouragement we have are for people who have, unlike you, actually contributed to the board, we know them, and we genuinely care about them. The support you have noticed is NOT automatic for many people that post here. That is why you got the "this isn't a support group" response regardless of how you phrased your comment. The board is not automatically supportive of everyone. Are you supportive of random strangers that are lecturing you about what a mean person you are? I mean, really. Think about that for a second and then get back to me.

To the OP - the vibe of the board has shifted over the past few months to much more puppies and rainbows than it was when I started. I like to think of it as giving out knowledge, but snarking stupid questions, even with the P&R. Regardless, you get back from the board what you give to the board. I like it here. Welcome and good luck with TTC!

Well put Steph! Yes

natkay02 · December 2010

sara99:
"I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here."
Thanks very much for validating my point. It seems like people are so quick to dismiss any dissenters, no matter how honest it was. And I get that people ask some inane questions and it's ridiculous for strangers to prognosticate on another person's pregnancy chances, but stop getting so pissed at the repetitive questions and don't feel obligated to answer every single one. And given the amount of activity on this particular board, who knows how many more posts could come in in the time it takes to write one.

Okay, something about this has rubbed me the wrong way. I feel like you are planning what you are saying around big words in order to seem smart. It is really bothering me. Seriously, just stop. OP, I think you will fit in just fine here. There is a good mix of people TTC a first and who already have kids. Welcome.

brandywine2010 · December 2010

To put it simply: You get what you give.

btsrc5 · December 2010

OP, I love this board.

I have met some absolutely fabulous girls whom I consider my friends. I have learned so much the past few months I have been around. I am very thankful for this board and for all the girls I have gotten to know.

But, as you can tell, this board isn't for everyone. Only you will be able to make that decision. Good luck!

JNKS2328 · December 2010

I love this board too. The ladies here know alot and are often very helpful when you have real questions to ask. I often just lurk and reply to some posts but the only time I really see people get those dreaded comments is when they are asking for it.

I think you would fit in just fine here, just think before you type Smile

brookelynpaisley · December 2010

reinstone:
sara99:

"I don't mean this in a snarky way, but TTGP (and the BUMP) aren't the only message boards around. If this isn't the fit for you there is nothing keeping you here."

Thanks very much for validating my point. It seems like people are so quick to dismiss any dissenters, no matter how honest it was. And I get that people ask some inane questions and it's ridiculous for strangers to prognosticate on another person's pregnancy chances, but stop getting so pissed at the repetitive questions and don't feel obligated to answer every single one. And given the amount of activity on this particular board, who knows how many more posts could come in in the time it takes to write one.

I dare you to stick around to see how annoying they are.

Me thinks I smell another martyr. I can't wait to take my time out and learn my lesson.

meganruns · December 2010

I've been on this board since August, and I really enjoy it. The ladies here are friendly and knowledgeable - I've learned more here than pretty much anywhere else. Just lurk and you'll find your way around.

natkay02 · December 2010

brookelynpaisley:
Me thinks I smell another martyr. I can't wait to take my time out and learn my lesson.

While you are in time out, prognosticate about the inane questions that the dissenters are defending.

brookelynpaisley · December 2010

natkay02:
brookelynpaisley:

Me thinks I smell another martyr. I can't wait to take my time out and learn my lesson.

While you are in time out, prognosticate about the inane questions that the dissenters are defending.

That's too many big words for vacation.

KBaker421 · December 2010

The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

reinstone · December 2010

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Replace "researched online first" with "any common sense" and that statement would be correct.

reinstone · December 2010

btsrc5:

OP, I love this board.

I have met some absolutely fabulous girls whom I consider my friends. I have learned so much the past few months I have been around. I am very thankful for this board and for all the girls I have gotten to know.

But, as you can tell, this board isn't for everyone. Only you will be able to make that decision, Young Jedi. Good luck!

There, I fixed it for you

KBaker421 · December 2010

reinstone:

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Replace "researched online first" with "any common sense" and that statement would be correct.

Oh i'm sorry, i forgot that you ladies "know everything" and have no use for the internet.

I assume knowing all about ovulation and charting is now considered common sense? ok...

atlb · December 2010

KBaker421:
reinstone:

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Replace "researched online first" with "any common sense" and that statement would be correct.

Oh i'm sorry, i forgot that you ladies "know everything" and have no use for the internet.
I assume knowing all about ovulation and charting is now considered common sense? ok...

When it is all spelled out for you both on the board and Fertility Friend, yes.

KBaker421 · December 2010

atlb685:
KBaker421:
reinstone:

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Replace "researched online first" with "any common sense" and that statement would be correct.

Oh i'm sorry, i forgot that you ladies "know everything" and have no use for the internet.
I assume knowing all about ovulation and charting is now considered common sense? ok...

When it is all spelled out for you both on the board and Fertility Friend, yes.

Which is indeed the internet. Is it not?

atlb · December 2010

KBaker421:
atlb685:
KBaker421:
reinstone:

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Replace "researched online first" with "any common sense" and that statement would be correct.

Oh i'm sorry, i forgot that you ladies "know everything" and have no use for the internet.
I assume knowing all about ovulation and charting is now considered common sense? ok...

When it is all spelled out for you both on the board and Fertility Friend, yes.

Which is indeed the internet. Is it not?

Yes, and it is common sense to do your OWN research before asking a bunch of strangers for advice. It really isn't such a hard concept to grasp. I'm sorry you are having such trouble with it. Bless your heart.

KBaker421 · December 2010

atlb685:
KBaker421:
atlb685:
KBaker421:
reinstone:

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Replace "researched online first" with "any common sense" and that statement would be correct.

Oh i'm sorry, i forgot that you ladies "know everything" and have no use for the internet.
I assume knowing all about ovulation and charting is now considered common sense? ok...

When it is all spelled out for you both on the board and Fertility Friend, yes.

Which is indeed the internet. Is it not?

Yes, and it is common sense to do your OWN research before asking a bunch of strangers for advice. It really isn't such a hard concept to grasp. I'm sorry you are having such trouble with it. Bless your heart.

Is that not exactly what i just said in my original post? and I'M the one having a hard time understanding?

Can you read? Did i say don't ask for advice until you research online first? I think so.

liz_t · December 2010

KBaker421:
The ladies on this board are vicious. It's fun to lurk but don't ask for any advice unless you have researched online first. They will tear you to shreds

Oh, for goodness sake.....if this board is not for you, MOVE ON and pick another one. It isn't rocket science.

Believe it or not some of us actually like the board the way that it is. I like the realness, the no BS and the well-placed snarkiness at times. It makes the board entertaining, which is part of the point. If I need support, I'll see a therapist or call my friends and family.

I can handle being flamed if I say something stupid or rude because I am not a wimpy pansy. If you are sensitive and thin skinned then this isn't the place for you. Find another board. Simple.

The incessant whining is grating. Stop crying and move along.

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