Sadly joining this board?!?!?

LDW80 · December 2010

I don't know what to call my post...Is it joining the board (like when you join the July2011 board) or just here to support other women who have gone through this...what??? I am so lost and feel alone and confused and in disbelief right now I can't even think straight.

I went in for my 2nd dr. appt. this morning to hear the hb and they were unsuccessful in finding it. The dr. did an ultrasound to see the heart flickering and there was nothing. Just my LO "floating" there. It was only measuring at 11w1d instead of 13w3d. I immedietely started crying. I luckily had my mother there because my DH is in TX on a hunting trip (he is now in the process of trying to get a flight home). They gave me an ultrasound picture of the baby (they asked me first if I wanted one and of course I said yes and it was in 3-d) so I can see all the features on him/her. He just looks like he is sleeping peacefully.

I was due July 1st and when I told the ladies on the July board that I was sadly leaving them a lot of them told me to come over here because this is a supportive board. Now having gone through this horrible experience I can try to help support others who unfortunately will go through it. I am sorry if I am not making sence. I probably shouldn't be on here right now posting but I am not ready to let go of LO and this was my "to-go-to" place and I don't know what else to do with myself right now. I am scheduled for a D&C tomorrow. If anyone can talk me through on ways to cope that would be nice. I guess the real only way to get though this is time. I have a very supportive family, DH and 2 beautiful daughters that I am thankful for. But like I have read with other posts on here.....IT JUST SUCKS and there is nothing we can do about it. Take care ladies and hopefully we will all get our sticky babies soon.

MrsR25 · December 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm a former July mom as well. There are a bunch of us here.

Manderlin923 · December 2010

So sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel. I still lurk on all the pregnancy boards I was on before.

I just began miscarrying naturally after being diagnosed with a missed m/c last week. Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks 1 day, I was 12 weeks when I found out. It's a horrible thing to happen and it's okay to feel sad and angry about it. It does help with time, at least for me. I still remember my 1st loss but it doesn't hurt as bad now. This loss seems to be harder for me to deal with, maybe because I was further along, idk.

I think it's nice to do something in memory of your lost baby. Our first we planted a hydrangea. This being winter we can't do that now, but I'm making a necklace with a hydrangea charm, a snowflake charm (for this babe) and with my son's name. It's the little things that will help you remember the love and hope you had for your baby.

Good luck and continue to take part here. I've only been on here for a week but it's already been so helpful. I am a July mom too, btw- July 4th

mkwt · December 2010

I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs))) I am another July 2011 mom. Just know it is okay to feel all different emotions. I have been the gamat of them. I can tell you that I had a D&C, and the procedure went well, I don't remember any of it, and it took about 5 days of minor cramping and bleeding and then the physical part was over with. I just got period on Christmas (it was the only thing I wanted), and it took me 32 days to get it. This board if full of wonderful supportive women that know exactly how you are feeling. Don't feel bad if you want to get on here and vent, trust me we all have had our "vents". My doctor reccommended me to break things and help to get the stress out, my only problem is that I like everything I own, but hey it may help you. Just know you are not alone and I will definetly be thinking and praying for you.

adamfam · December 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. It is good that you found this board and are on here, now is as good a time as any. I too had a July 1st due date, but started miscarrying naturally a couple weeks ago. I did not have a D&C, so I do not have any advice on what to expect there. It sounds like you have a lot of support with your mom there and your husband coming home, which is good. Im sure your DDs will be a welcome distraction and source of joy to you, especially with time (although dont be hard on yourself if you feel like you have a really short fuse too, I know I did and it was because of the sadness).

acadiababy · December 2010

So sorry. Former August mom. Just joined last night.

Junebug060609 · December 2010

Another former 7/11'er here...though I was in the first wave that departed. So sad to see so many of you that I remember from over there.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found this board though. When I was in the midst of my m/c it helped immensely to know there were others going through the same thing (though I'd not ever wish it on anyone, it helped to feel not so alone). I also found it hard to go from 'belonging' on the July '11 board to suddenly not anymore, KWIM? This board helped with that, as is the TTCAL board now that I'm to that point.

Take care, and you're right...it does suck.

ETA: I just peeked at the July board and saw your post. This ISN'T your fault and you DID NOT fail as a mom. This was out of your hands.

Regarding the D&C, I've had one, but not for a loss (my m/c happened on its own). I can give you a general idea of what to expect physically, but others would be better to give advice for the emotional aspects of it in your circumstances. I'll peek back in later to see if its been addressed by someone who's had one for a loss.

Bbelle88 · December 2010

I'm really sorry for your loss...I just started to naturally miscarry yesterday. It's heartbreaking. There's nothing I can say to heal your heart, just know I am going through the same exact thing right now, I feel your pain.

WifeyWynn0626 · December 2010

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember you from the July 2011 board as well. ((hugs)). As for the D&C, I had mine last Tuesday and it wasn't all that bad. Nothing is worse than knowing your losing your LO, but they put you under and you don't remember a thing. I pretty much constantly spotted for the first two days and really only needed a pantyliner, then Friday is when the cramps were the worst (worse than my AF cramps) and bled steadily and heavy. Saturday it lessened and now I'm back to just needing a pantyliner for spotting.

Emotionally, since this was my first pregnancy, I took it pretty hard (not that it isn't hard for any pregnancy at anytime), but I can understand the guilt. I over analyzed the last 3 months of my life wondering if it was the day I forgot my vitamin, or the day I snuck a Dr. Pepper. I think that's the hardest for me, not knowing why it happened or what I could have done to prevent it. Logically I get that there wasn't anything I could have done but, I still think about my "what if's". To help me sort my thoughts and emotions that I just couldn't put into words, I stated a blog, and that's helped a lot just by getting everything out and off my mind. And, I took a lot of strenght from the board, knowing I wasn't alone and that this is a place where woman can actually relate and give meaningful advice.

LDW80 · December 2010

Thank you ladies for your words of encouragment. I hate that we all have to go through this. I recognize a few of you from July 2011 and now I feel a more closer relationship to you all having gone through the same emotions and grieving. No one deserves this EVER. I am glad I have a place to go to when I need to vent or talk to or hear other similar stories that I can now relate to and help support.

yeliza h · December 2010

This board is wonderful. Although I would rather not be here (I am positive we all feel the same way)....just being able to go through this with women who understand are are so compassionate.

I am so sorry for your loss.(((hugs)))

K.Walker · December 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss, I was going to be a "July mom" as I was due July 8th. There's nothing that can be said that will make you feel better. Take time to rest after the D&C, it's not painful, but you just need to rest after. If you feel like crying, then cry. It will be hard to see cute little baby clothes, and other pregnant ladies, but it will slowly start to feel better. And when people tell you all the cliche things, forgive them as they just don't know what to say.

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