Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Good/Bad News..

So..Good news?
AF finally came to visit. I have never been so excited to have this visit..maybe it's a sort of closure. I don't think I will ever really get over what happened, but this definitely is giving me hope that we can hopefully try again soon. Does anyone know if its normal for it to be EXTREMELY heavy? I have never had a heavy flow, so this is very weird/uncomfortable for me.

Bad news..
Got my insurance paper in the mail today. Opened it up and it was just saying that they covered my whole surgery (D&C). Yes, that is fabulous news because nothing came out of pocket (thank the Lord for being military) but they defined it as "Abortion"?? I couldn't help but just cry my eyes out. That was the most horrible thing to EVER see on a piece of paper. In no way did I abort my child. AT ALL. I would be happy being pregnant right now but our baby couldn't develop correctly. I couldn't get ahold of my doctor to see why it was put on there like that..I will have to wait for my appointment on the 29th but I can't help but just feel very devasted by their wording. I just absolutely hate having that on my medical record.

Anways, I pray that Christmas goes smoothly. I do better with my family then I do with DH's family, so it's a wonderful thing we are headed to see my family for a few days. I just am not ready to be in the "holiday spirit".

I hope everybody is doing well. I think about you ladies all the time and am so thankful for the support and comfort I have gotten from all of you.  xx

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Re: Good/Bad News..

  • Sorry for your loss.  I hate the way the medical community, insurance in particular, treats pregnancy loss.  I won't even type that word again, but that's commonly used in conjunction with ANY type of pregnancy loss.  By no means does it indicate you voluntarily ended the pregnancy, it's just the insensitive insurance term. :(
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  • Hooray for AF and having all that covered. I haven't received a bill yet, so we will see!

    I think I would fight very hard to have that amended to include why it was done or have it taken off altogether. It's not like it was elective.

    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
  • Sorry for your loss.  That is so very wrong of them to term it that way...you'd think the would be slightly more sensative!  It's almost as bad as people saying "sorry you lost your pregnancy"...umm hello, it was a baby, not a medical condition.  Best of luck to you in your efforts to try again!
  • Oh babe... Those stupid doctors!!!  I haven't read the other posts on here, I got so upset at this that I immediately hit reply, so I'm not sure if anyone has explained this, but for some stupid reason the terminology is as such.... With my first miscarriage the baby didn't form and I went into the doctor before bleeding began. She told me that the medical term for this is "threatened abortion"... (i.e. your body is aborting the baby because something is wrong). 

    With another miscarriage, the doctor called it a "spontaneous abortion"... which is "the end of pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or fetus is incapable of surviving, generally defined in humans at prior to 24 weeks"  

    In the "civilian" world as I like to call it, we know an abortion as the act of choosing to end a pregnancy for whatever reason... but that the embryo or fetus is still alive and the doctors actually end that life.

    So I'm sure all of my charts list either "threatened abortion" or "spontaneous abortion" when I certainly NEVER actually CHOSE to end any of my pregnancies. Sadly, they use the term abortion almost interchangeably with miscarriage.  Something I think they should NEVER do.  Chemical Pregnancy, Missed Miscarriage, Blighted Ovum -- anything that ends the pregnancy are MISCARRIAGES, and a D&C is just a way of more quickly removing an already miscarried pregnancy.  What you had was no where near close to an abortion.  I'm so sorry you had to see that on paper.  Damn doctors need to use their brains... 

    Finally - YES, a heavier period the first time is common, at least it was for me each time.  Good news is they get progressively better each time after.  Sometimes even faster than that (I usually have really light periods).  Here is hoping you're all through it soon and ready to try again.  

  • Stupid medical terminology.  I lost it in the hospital when I was signing paperwork pre-d&c and saw that it said missed miscarriage/spontaneous abortion on it.  I cried so hard, and my oh-so-sensitive nurse said, "well, medically it's the same thing".  I know she meant the terminology is interchangeable (and technically the procedure is pretty much the same), not that it was elective, but it felt like a kick in the gut.  I hate that.  So sorry you had to see that.  Yay for everything being covered though, and for AF!  Hopefully you're back on track physically.  Hang in there. 
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