Confused & Scared (how to decide on treatment?)

Manderlin923 · December 2010

Hi again. I posted a few down about my experience yesterday. I was heartbroken to learn I've had a missed miscarriage 6 weeks ago. Thank you for those that responded with their experiences and sympathy.

I feel like this is so much harder because not only am I dealing with losing my baby, I have to make a decision on how to remove it. And I honestly feel like both choices suck. I do not WANT a d&c. I do not WANT to be given Cytotec and have a horrible painful miscarriage. I just want my stupid body to do something about it.

I know there are some of you out there who are going through the same thing and have to make a decision soon. How are you holding up? I just don't know what to do and I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I have endometriosis (stated in last post) so I am very scared of scar tissue from a D&C. I also had post partum hemmorage with my son so I'm nervous about hemmoraging from the Cytotec. Or worse.

I feel like all I am hearing is horror stories for each option. Please, can anyone give me some hope that I might have a "positive" (or as positive as it can get) experience for either option?

Thank you for letting me vent

carrieandtim · December 2010

I opted for a D&C with both my missed m/c. I was not willing to wait it out naturally as school was going to start. I also was not willing to go through the pain of the medicine and the heartache of seeing anything that passed. I do not see myself as being that strong to handle such a thing.

Both D&Cs for me were very easy pain wise for me. The cramping I had and the bleeding wasn't anything more than a period. I needed something 'quick' to help me begin the healing process...especially since my body didn't recognize anything until 3 weeks passed the loss. I know more women who have opted for a D&C because sometimes even after letting things happen naturally or with medicine, they've needed a D&C anyway to remove anything that didn't pass.

I know you will make the decision, with the help of your doctor's opinion, that best fits you and your level of comfort. Definitely don't do something you aren't comfortable with. There are horror stories for everything in life...but there are also success stories. I consider myself a success story after two D&Cs. God forbid I miscarry my next...but if I do, I believe I would have another D&C.

Good luck making your decision! You'll have the support you need here for whatever decide to do!

adamfam · December 2010

Sorry you are going through this.

While I didnt have a missed m/c- i started bleeding and passed a lot on my own- I have some remaining tissue left and I need to decide what to do as well. My doctor wants me to take the medicine (I guess cause there is not much left..) but I have heard that is pretty awful but havent heard too many stories about it and Im scared too. Not sure what im going to do either.

The PP's doctor's suggstion that a D&C might help clear up old scarring sounds promising- hopefully you can ask your doctor about that and it may push you in the direction of a D&C. Good luck with your decision.

Fallon621 · December 2010

Hi. First I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm sure this is the most difficult time of your life and now having to decide how to get you LO out is also scary and hard. I will give you my story in short for what its worth. (tmi)

We found out on Dec 3rd in the ER at 10w5d that out LO stopped growing and was only measuring 6w6d almost 7 weeks, They said I was having a missed MC. they gave me the same options and for me I chose to take the meds (despite the horrible storys) for me I just felt like more natural was the way to go because that's what our bodies are equipped to do in the event that something like this happens. I heard all about the pain and bleeding and decided to do it still knwing that my body may not get rid of everything on its own. Also I didnt want to leave my LO at the hospital for them to do what they do with it. So I took 400mg of the Misoprostol started bleeding about an hour later with some cramping then it stopped completly the next day and I didnt pass anything, That was on a wed. Then all night that friday night I started to bleed again and was having horrible pains. So Sat morning we went to the ER they gave me IV and pain meds to stop the pain and gave a script for pain meds and another 600mg of the misoprostol to take when I got home. I took it and that same sat night (last sat) I started to have contractions again really bad and was on the toilet for 3 hours just non stop bleeding so we went back to the ER My oxygen level was very low, blood pressure was sky high and the pain was horrible, was losing way too much blood. so again for the second time in 24 hours was hooked up the IV and given more pain meds, oxygen and a bunch of other things I was very scared essentially I was in labor, contractions and everything! Eventually the pain wasnt as bad and I passed everything that sunday morning in the hospital.

I do not have Endo but I too was worried what the Dnc would do to my body. I thought of it this was with my DS, he was breech and has to choice other then to have a c-section. and if I had carried to term and all was well I was going to try to have a VBAC because that's whats supposed to happen, I AM SUPPOSED TO BRING MY BABY INTO THIS WORLD not have it cut out of me so that's why I chose the meds. Not a great success story, but not all woman have this bad of an experience either. Just though you should hear all sides of this before choosing. But I will say that I think if this ever happens to me again and I have a option then I would do the Dnc only because of my experience.(not sure if I ever even want to try again after this though)

Just know that whatever choice you make for yourself will not be "the wrong decision" We are here for you and good luck. And please keep us updated.

sorry so long,

ECHC829 · December 2010

carrieandtim:

I opted for a D&C with both my missed m/c. I was not willing to wait it out naturally as school was going to start. I also was not willing to go through the pain of the medicine and the heartache of seeing anything that passed. I do not see myself as being that strong to handle such a thing.

Both D&Cs for me were very easy pain wise for me. The cramping I had and the bleeding wasn't anything more than a period. I needed something 'quick' to help me begin the healing process...especially since my body didn't recognize anything until 3 weeks passed the loss. I know more women who have opted for a D&C because sometimes even after letting things happen naturally or with medicine, they've needed a D&C anyway to remove anything that didn't pass.

I had a D&C yesterday....

I was 11w2d when I found out about my missed m/c at my NT Scan. The baby was still at 8wks. Being that it had already been over 3 wks and my body has had zero signs of anything wrong, I just couldn't wait to see how long it was going to take to do something on its own. I personally needed to shut that door and move on to the next step of recovery and not wait for this step to finish. (Just my personal need)

The D&C was fairly painless (aside from the local anesthetic) and so far my bleeding and cramping has been minimal compared to what I expected (granted it's barely been 24 hours).

I dont have any advice about the endo and scar tissue, I just think you should do what you feel is right for you in your heart. Everyone is different so do what you feel the most comfortable with or what your doctor recommends.

Cow-girl · December 2010

Warning pics in siggy

I can only tell you my experience. I think the choice is a personal one. I had 2 missed m/c with one that started out naturally then stopped before I "expelled everything". I had a much better experience with my D&C than I did with naturally trying to m/c. Because I went to sleep and when I woke up it was over and I could start to heal. I didnt have to deal with the physical stuff going on for a long time. So I chose a D&C the second time also. All in all I have had 3 D&C's and have not had lasting issues from them.

Im so incredibly sorry that you have to make this choice. Its not an easy one. But I know you will choose the best thing for you. {{hugs}}

Manderlin923 · December 2010

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I will keep you all posted when I find out what is going to happen.

BarefootContess · December 2010

I am sorry for your loss. When I had a missed miscarriage, I had a D&C. At first I was not sure if I wanted to go this route, but am glad I did. I was miserable with pregnancy symptoms, even though the baby had passed. I was out for the procedure, felt completely fine with no pain afterwards, and my symptoms were gone the next day. Knowing it was totally over made it easier for me to move on.

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