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(G&B spoiler) I think I am a jaded son of a...

Nesting.AwayNesting.Away
in Infertility

So last night, in the G&B post, the girls started talking about it being so sad and they were bawling watching it. I wasn't able to watch it on time, so when we did ge to it about an hour later, I thought for *my* worst.....none of the embryos made the thaw. Right? Nope. The transfer went great. So then I moved on to another miscarriage. Skipped right over a BFN. I have been through too many of those ART BFNs.

Please don' think that the BFNs are anything but absolutely heart-shattering..... I just am in a place where everything in my IF like goes for the less than 1% odds of happening.... *sigh* Yes, I am a jaded son of a b!tch. *more sighs*

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Re: (G&B spoiler) I think I am a jaded son of a...

  • illinigalillinigal member
    Hugs... I wish you didn't have to be so jaded, but unfortunately, I think I'm on my way too.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • thewormstheworms member

    i haven't seen episode yet cutie but i agree BFN's suck (and paying for a BFN is awful) but i would rather a BFN than m/c.

    ((HUGS)) oh jaded one

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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  • Nesting.AwayNesting.Away
    imagetheworms:

    i haven't seen episode yet cutie but i agree BFN's suck (and paying for a BFN is awful) but i would rather a BFN than m/c.

    ((HUGS)) oh jaded one

    I know exactly what you mean. Not to take away from those with BFNs...it's just ugh!

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  • SweetDahliaSweetDahlia
    Hugs hon. IF sucks in genral, BFNs suck, but M/C really suck. You had something and it was ripped away from you. It all sucks and I hate anyone has to go through this stuff.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Ginger71Ginger71 member
    imagetheworms:

    i haven't seen episode yet cutie but i agree BFN's suck (and paying for a BFN is awful) but i would rather a BFN than m/c.

    ((HUGS)) oh jaded one

    This exactly. Jaded is a great word for it. Hugs all around :(

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  • Ginger71Ginger71 member
    imagetheworms:

    i haven't seen episode yet cutie but i agree BFN's suck (and paying for a BFN is awful) but i would rather a BFN than m/c.

    ((HUGS)) oh jaded one

    This exactly. Jaded is a great word for it. Hugs all around :(

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  • Amie8301Amie8301

    With my BFNs, I often wonder "is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  It clearly is better to never have loved at all. I can't even imagine the sort of pain you've felt over your IF journey and I'm so sorry any of you have gone through it.

    huge hugs!

    Crohn's resulting in colectomy with J-Pouch surgery in 2000/2001.
    TTC since August 2008
    IVF#1: BFFN; IVF#2: BFN; FET with new RE: BFN
    IVF#3: ER 1/15; ET 1/20; Beta#1 1/29: 339!
    Twins girls born via c/s at 37w/3d!!
    "Let it go, this too shall pass."
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