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anyone dealt with stranger anxiety over the holidays?

lytedarklytedark member
in Eco-Friendly Family

so vi is knee deep in stranger danger - i tried to bring her to dh's work friday to meet everyone cuz they were having a 'kids picture with santa' thing and she flipped.out. when the crowd descended.  poor kiddo.

this started at thanksgiving when she fussed when anyone but dh or i held her (like the grandparents and while my mom gets it, the IL's are all 'she doesn't know who we are' blah blah and make me hate them but thats a rant for another time).

so christmas eve we'll be going to the IL's, just us, them, and dh's sister, small gathering.  then xmas morning at home before heading to my parents for presents then the extended family dinner with a ton of people none of which have met her yet.  i'm petrified.  lol.

any tips?

my cool cat - er, bunny!

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Re: anyone dealt with stranger anxiety over the holidays?

  • mommy2b08mommy2b08 member
    I always just told people it's nothing personal, she just doesn't like to be held by anyone but mommy/daddy at the moment. DD was a little older and walking so I just made sure I sat on the floor so she could run back to me if she got scared (and she eventually warmed up and would branch out a bit from me).
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  • nseesnsees
    Ditto PP and she'll totally pick up on your anxiety so try to stay as calm as possible and do lots of cuddling to keep her feeling secure.

    Big E (6) & Little E (2.5)
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  • GenevievedGenevieved

    We had a same problem when I went home to visit family.  It was the first time she met my brothers and a lot of other family members she met a NB but she didn't remember any of them.

    We had a few parties and I or my mom had to pretty much hold her the whole time.  I had one cousin tell me I had to get that baby off my hip more.  I just want to punch her and be like you must forgot about stranger anxiety (she has two older kids)  As DD was fine with ppl she knew.   One of my brothers took it hard but she warmed up to him by the end of the trip.

    My IL's also don't get it but the crazy thing is DD was never like that with my parents but my parents visit a lot more.  My MIL also didn't get the just sit back let her play for a while and she will warm up to you, she was in DD's face.

    I just stayed close to her.  I told ppl if she will let you hold her you can otherwise I'm sorry.    It also helped if I played with her and if the other ppl just sat back for awhile and slower got closer and played with her.  

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  • papagenapapagena member

    imagensees:
    Ditto PP and she'll totally pick up on your anxiety so try to stay as calm as possible and do lots of cuddling to keep her feeling secure.

    Same here.  I always make sure I'm available to DS if he's having an issue with strangers.  If he needs to be held/cuddled, etc I just follow his cues.  Fortunately, it has always just taken him a short while to get over the shyness and then he was always fairly comfortable.  But I'd just follow her cues.  If she looks like she's not up for being held by someone else yet, give her some time.  I also would always try to interact with people and show him I wasn't shy with them.  I didn't make a big deal out of him being upset by it if he was scared - just moved on.

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  • lytedarklytedark member

    thanks ladies!

    someone at dh's work said we should go to mommy and me classes to get her out more and i just kinda smiled and nodded.  the IL's are another story - she's always fussed with them for one reason or another this was the first time she cried with my mom though and she doesn't see them any more often. 

    i'm also going to try to get the word out not to swarm her at the big gathering, that should help

    my cool cat - er, bunny!

    Photobucket Lilypie First Birthday tickers imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    my bfp chart!
    our hippy baby blog

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  • blissfully_caffeinatedblissfully_caffeinated
    I just dealt with this over the weekend for my families early holiday get together. I just told everyone that he has stranger anxiety and offered tips to help him out. If he can't see me it is much better. Also, if the person is super fun and talks to him. I also told them that if he cries it's not personal and I'd take him back. I got a lot of comments about him being too attached to me and having really bad separation anxiety but I think people just forgot how bad it gets.
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