I married a family of huggers. It's going to be a problem.

I am not a hugger.  I love hugs from DH and when DD throws her arms around my head and says "MY MUM MUM"  it always makes my day.  I also don't mind the spontaneus "Oh wow, I am so happy for you!" and "Oh I am so happy to see you it's been forever!" hugs.  They are great.  I am however not good at getting hugs for any other reason.  Even at my wedding I didn't like the hugs.  They make me uncomfortable.  I come from a family of non- huggers.  We don't hug.  We smile,  wave at the door and maybe, just maybe, hug the kids.  But that's it.  We don't hug.   My friends know my inability to be comfortable with a hug doesn't mean anything other than I don't like hugs.  They say that a hug from me is special because I must really mean it. 

DH's family hugs. They hug over everything.  Every Christmas present, every time you leave the house for an extended perid of time, everytime you do something nice,  you have to hug everyone when you leave after a visit.  If there are 20 people there you have to hug all 20 of them.  If they have a party with 150 people,  you hug each person as they arrive and as they leave. My best friend gets a giggle out of this because she knows how much I hate it.  She sees it as my personal torture. 

The time I least want to be given a hug is when I am upset.  I am not saying don't touch me.  I am not saying I wouldn't appreciate a hand squeeze or a hand on a shoulder,  just don't hug me. Seriously, it's nothing personal.  My eyes don't work well together and a hug when I am happy is mildly disorienting because my brain can't compute where to focus.  When I am crying or tired or both a hug will actually give me a headache and or make me throw up.  However since something bad has happened to me this is the time when they will hug me 50 times a day. 

At a time when I am so emotionally unstable that the muppets started off a 15 minute crying jag,  I don't know how I am going to survive 10 days with a family who will be offended if I don't let them hug me when they think I am feeling sad.  Who will think it is seriously unhealthy for me to want to be alone.  Who will think that if I am quiet for a few minutes I must need a hug. It makes them feel better if they get to feel like they are taking care of me.  So I will let them do it.  It's going to make it harder for me though.  Why did I ever agree to this?