Is DH staying overnight at hospital after LO's arrival?

CaniacMom · December 2010

I am scheduled for a c-section on Monday, January 3rd. DH & I have a 13yo son. I asked DH who we should have DS stay with while I am in the hospital. He acted surprised because he expected to go home at night. Our hospital seems pretty set on the idea of you keeping LO in the room with you most, if not all, of the time. I know that if I just had a C-section that the first night I definitely will not be able to get out of bed and care for him like he will need to be. DH figures this will be a way for us each to get a couple of good nights sleep before we bring LO home.

As much as I love my mother, I do not want her staying with me because she will be so nosy about everything going on with me medically. For some reason I feel like my medical stuff is me & DH's business only and don't like for other family members to stick their noses into it.

Is your DH going to stay with you at the hospital?

I know I will be fine by myself but I did look forward to having him stay with me. DS can stay with one of our parents and go to school from their house or with one of his school friends while we are in the hospital. Our hospital has said that a standard C-section stay is 48 hours - seems kind of short to me but I guess I will feel better recovering at home.

Joes_love · December 2010

i'm going to have him stay with me the first night the baby is born, and then he'll go home to be with DS.

ridesbuttons · December 2010

No. Would not even cross my mind to have DH spend the night. There are nurses to help you with whatever you might need.

kristinromero · December 2010

DH will be staying with me the entire time I'm in the hospital.

RHitch · December 2010

DH stayed with me every night that I was in the hospital (4 nights total). I had a very painful recovery, and I was extremely emotional because my baby was not latching on well and she had jaundice, which meant she had to stay under the light for 24 hours. I am so happpy he was there. SD was with us for the summer, so she stayed at his mother's house while I was in the hospital.

I honestly have not talked to him about it this time. However, I am happy you brought this up because I need to know if he plans to stay at the hospital with me and leave DD with MIL, or if he plans to go home with DD. SD's winter break will be over by then, so she will be back with her mom.

erin3182011 · December 2010

Well, we have never had this conversation before but I assume he is going to be staying with me the entire time.... He better!!! Isnt that what theyre supposed to do? Hmmm

cera.rn · December 2010

Yes, we have double beds in the postpartum unit for this reason. He may go home for an hour each day to spend a little time with our dog (BIL will be taking care of her), but he will be sleeping right next to me at night.

NavyGMWife · December 2010

Yes, he will be with me the whole time I am in the hospital. My mother will be keeping our dog.

*sallymad* · December 2010

Dh stayed the entire 3 nights for dd1 but he will only be staying the first night for dd2. I think it's a totally different ballgame when you have other kids to think about. Maybe he could just stay for the first night or maybe the first two nights.

By day 2 of my stay I could get up and walk around, it's just that first night that I was having problems so it was nice to have him there.

FutureMrsCaesar · December 2010

I think it depends a lot on if this is your first/if you have other kids at home. With DS #1 DH stayed with me the whole time, just went home to shower, get some stuff, let out the dog, etc.

But this time we have another LO to worry about, and even though my parents will be here watching DS I still think it would be nice if DH could go home and give DS his bath and put him to bed, etc. Like someone else said, the nurses are there to help you with whatever you need during the night.

mommytosam011011 · December 2010

My SO doesn't get any time off, so if he happens to have the next day off then he'll stay, but if he has to work the next day I expect to go home. I'll have help with the nurses and such. I will be really happy if he gets to stay with me though since I have never had to stay in a hospital overnight before.

thebigmare4 · December 2010

This is something my DH and I have been discussing. We're very close and normally do not like to spend nights apart....but if we're really sleep deprived...We live like 10 minutes from the hospital. I think the plan right now is that he'll bring change of clothes and toileteries so he could stay the entire time. Also if he stays the entire time, it's only $6 for parking (and it's valet). But if he leaves, parking will actually cost more. However, he may end up wanting to go home. You have DS to worry about; we just have our cats.

ManduhhMommie · December 2010

I am scheduled for a c section January 14th. I agree that I may not be able to care for LO the way I'd like to, so either DH or my mama will stay with me. Most of the time it will probably be DH, unless something goes wrong with the baby or I, in which case I would prefer my mama. She is a nurse and knows how to care and comfort us so much more than DH. Lol. Although, he does try

flyingsaucer · December 2010

No. I am having a section as well and have a 2 year old at home. I really want DH to stay with our toddler at night, DH will be with my during the day (DS as well). I had a section with DS as well and the nurses were good about keeping him in the nursery the first night or two while I recovered, then he was able to stay with me.

I really want my toddler to be able to stay in his own bed and stick to his routine as much as possible while I am gone.

Scout05 · December 2010

The rooms at our hospital have couches that fold out to double beds, so he will be staying with me and LO the whole time we're there. Our pooch is going to have a few nights of sleep-overs at Nana's.

We're hoping that goes well, she's only been without us at night once before, and it was not a huge success. Not that we spoil her or anything like that.

RayRay007 · December 2010

I hope to not have to spend a night in the hospital, but if I do, I would expect DH to be there. We haven't discussed it because it just never crossed my mind that it would be any other way. We don't have other children though.

mrswright2006 · December 2010

DH will most likely stay the whole time, just like last time. DD adores her grandparents, and I know she will be fine with them while I am in the hospital (and they can take her for however long I am in the hospital), and I think of our hospital time as our first chance to bond as parents to our son. After we get home, we will have to split our time between our two children, and he will have to go back to work fairly quickly.

ang.ela23 · December 2010

my dh will be staying with me. i am having a scheduled csection so dd will be staying with my mom two nights & his mom two nights.

RumbleLina · December 2010

Yes, DH will be staying the night with me. There was never really another option in his mind and I am glad since I dislike hospitals. For a vag delivery it is 48 hours(24 minimum) and a c/s is 72 hours(48 minimum). I am hoping everything will go great and I can leave after 24 hours since we have to pay for our stay.

teshy1 · December 2010

Depending on whether I have to spend a night in the hospital after the baby is born (our hospital usually discharges routine vaginal births in 12-24 hours), DH will stay, providing he is allowed. If a we get a private post-partum room like we've requested, he is allowed to stay the night, but if it's a semi-private, he can't. By the way, this is our first child and we have no furbabies at home to worry about, otherwise, I think our plan might be different.

Disneygeek77 · December 2010

I will be having another c-section and DH will be staying with me the entire time. DD will be living it up at grandma's and will be visiting us every day.

locash · December 2010

I'm going to play it by ear. The first night we're there, yes, he's staying for sure and his parents will watch the dogs.

If I have to stay a second night, I'm tempted to send him home, send her to the nursery and let us all get a decent night of sleep before heading home. We'll see how we're all doing, though.

hjk5000 · December 2010

Since this will be our first baby, yes, he wants to be there overnight (however long we're there). But I'm sure he'll go home to shower, feed the cats, etc at some point.

newsgal · December 2010

Nope, he'll be going home at night. With our first, we planned to have him stay but of course baby came on the only day we didn't have a dog sitter available, so DH went home at night to take care of the dog. Having gone through this once now, I know it will be better for him to go home and see our daughter and that he won't add much in the hospital overnight. Your nights are spent taking care of the new baby, except when you finally get the courage to send him/her to the nursery for 3 hours so you can sleep. Except that's when the staff comes in to take your bp and everything else they bother you for every 45 mins while you're in there! Seriously, all I wanted after 2 days was to go home so badly!

Shpinz2011 · December 2010

My DH is staying the whole time, He said the only thing he will leave for is to get me a sandwich that I really want and maybe some sushi when I am feeling up to it

JessiRaye · December 2010

My H will probably be home with our 2 children. I hope to have him stay with me the first night (c-section) but we will see. He didn't stay with me the 2nd time and I sure did miss him at night! The first time he didn't leave my side, but we didn't have other children to worry about at that point.

CutieBean79 · December 2010

I would definitely figure out other plans for your son and have your DH stay with you. My DH will be with me the whole stay (of course, running out for errands) and I know if I end up with a c-section it will be entirely necessary.

schoolsoutbride · December 2010

Either him or my Mom. Probably some combo of both. I'll need somebody's help with two babies. Someone will need to stay with my older son, though, so we'll see how he's doing with just grandma.

MrsTotty · December 2010

DH stayed all 4 nights at the hospital when I gave birth to DS and he'll be doing it again this time. He doesn't get an option, lol. MIL or FIL will take DS #1 while he's with me.

tmp-256087750008635 · December 2010

With my first son my DH stayed with me the entire week we were in the hospital - I had a section and had some issues after, so it was never a question as to whether he would stay or not. During that time neither I not my DH were sleeping that well due to the pull out chair/bed that is provided for them to spend the night on and me being so uncomfortable.

So - this time, I would rather my DH go home at night and get a good night's sleep that way I can rest some during the day and depend on him knowing that he slept really well. In my eyes, there is nothing that a nurse can't do for me in the middle of the night if I need something. I would rather him have a few good night's sleep in him for when we bring our new LO home. Good luck with your decision!

ali26 · December 2010

I told DH we will play it by ear. It kind of depends on what time of day she is actually born and how we both feel I guess. We are gonna bring all of his stuff to spend the night but if it ends up that he goes home overnight that is fine with me. We only live 10 mins from the hospital and all they have for sleeping there are those little chairs that fold into a bed smaller than a twin size matress. DH is really tall so I feel like he won't get much sleep at all if he stays- if he goes home at least one of us will be well rested once I'm home.

lovemytannerman · December 2010

I don't think so. We have a 7 year old who catches the bus at home. If I make it to my c-section date, I need hubby to get him up in the morning and on the bus. Then he can be at the hospital by 7:45-8. I just need someone to get him off the school bus at 2:00 and then dh can go home at night to take care of him.

So I don't think he'll be staying with me at the hospital at night. Frankly, I think he'll be more help to me if he gets a good nights sleep. I have the nurses who can help me if I need it.

LipstickLibrarian · December 2010

This time DH will be staying with me every night for however long it takes. I had a scheduled c/s last time and will this time as well. Last time, he stayed the first night and I thought it would be a good idea for him to go home the 2nd night and rest up for when we brought DD home. BAD idea - I woke up having to go to the bathroom and in extreme pain and had to be helped by a nurse at 3am in tears. While that is what the nurses were there for, I really think that incident contributed to my PPD last time - I would have had it regardless, of course, but it did lead me to feel like I was "alone" and had to handle all the challenges by myself. For my emotional and physical health, DH will be staying with me. DD will stay here at our home with my mom - she will be fine - my mom has stayed with her for several days before when DH and I went out of town.

Sheas · December 2010

My DH seemed offended when I told him that I did not expect him to stay with me. That being said, yes, DH will stay with me at least the first night. My guess is he will stay with me the whole time, but we will see about that when the time comes!

monkey_pants · December 2010

I'm still not sure what we're going to do, but we'll pack a change of clothes and toiletries for DH in case we decide he'll stay. It's not a logistics issue for us since this is our first, however it's VERY expensive to get a private room and the hospital doesn't allow overnight guests in the semi-private rooms. I put $$ in my flexible spending for a private room to at least save a little bit of money, but then our birthing class teacher suggested it's not worth it because the husbands get a bad night's sleep there. But honestly I'm not sure I care -- I may just want him there, not to be totally selfish. I figure I'm doing all the work so he can suck it up and get a bad night's sleep or two if I feel like I need him there. The private rooms are first come, first serve, based on when you deliver so we don't really have to decide until I push her out. Hopefully I'll be in good enough shape when I get to the hospital that they'll let us poke our heads into a private room so we can assess how comfortable it might be. They have private suites, too, but they're insanely expensive!

snewman3 · December 2010

HE BETTER!!

Buckets of Moonbeams · December 2010

No, he'll be with K. He stayed with me when K was born.

Molluskwrangler · December 2010

He may, they are private rooms and all but we only live 3 mins from the hospital and if he wants to go home to rest or shower etc no biggie. If everything goes smoothly I'll only be in recovery for 24 hours anyway.

If he does decide to stay my mom will be here to take care of our dog.

kapereasd · December 2010

We have not discussed it yet...but if LO comes in the middle of the night he will stay the remainder of that night with me and then he will probably go home to be with our other two kiddos...
I'm glad you asked, I guess this is a good thing for DH and I to discuss and make a plan for!!

EmjayTheHunted · December 2010

RayRay007:
I hope to not have to spend a night in the hospital, but if I do, I would expect DH to be there. We haven't discussed it because it just never crossed my mind that it would be any other way. We don't have other children though.

Um... did you think you'd drop and run?

You are having a baby, expect to spend a night. If not, you will sign out AMA and insurance is not responsible for the bill at that point in a lot of places.

Why wouldn't you want to stay so they can monitor you and the baby?

Seriously though, you thought you'd have the baby and leave before night time?

HugginAngel · December 2010

Maybe I'm weird but DH will not be staying. #1 when I saw the sleeping arrangments DH would have to deal with would just be cruel and unusual punishment. (It looks like a window seat with a pillow...Plus the woman during the hospital tour commented that any man over 6ft would be really really uncomfy since it's not that big and Dh is 6'4") Anywho I told him I wanted him there through labor and delivery but not to stay any of the other nights. I feel like it's more important for him to tend to the pups for that day or so.

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