I don't know if I missed something, what happened? I am SOOO Sorry.
Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF
I had a conference call with our lawyer today. Usually he is very reassuring and positive. Today he wasn't. He let us know that there have been more and more red-flags popping up in this situation. One of which could put our adoption at legal risk (IWCA issues they learned of yesterday).
Bascially he said that if this was his situation, he would dissolve the match. If that is what we decide to do, he also wouldn't match them with any other families because of the risk involved.
This combined with the reduction in communication with us and the doubts that have already been creeping into my mind, makes me lean towards dissolving.
My husband wasn't on the call, he had to be at work, so he's waiting for the l wyer to all him back so he can chat and ask questions of him. I guess we have lots to talk about tonight if we don't fully decide today.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
I wish I had dissolved our failed placement before it got to that point. I kept seeing red flags (I even posted about them here) and kept telling myself it was just cold feet -- we had some ICWA issues as well, but I didn't dissolve it and we ended up handing the baby back when he was 5 days old. Sometimes it's just for the best. Self-preservation is a good thing.
I have no idea what ICWA is but I'm so sorry that your match may be dissolving. It really brings tears to my eyes to hear about this. /big hugs to you and your DH
Oh, no!! I am so sorry....regardless of your decision, you are in my Ts and Ps. We had to make a really hard decision like your decision but we waited until birth. We'd ignored what were flags. We were w/an attorney that kept making excuses for our concern. At the end of it all, our gut was right.
I know how hard it is to make these decisions and how sad you'll be. Hugs to you.
Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
*TTC since February 08*
2 IUIs that didn't take, exploratory LAP and hysterscopy in September 2010 that revealed nothing, means we're adopting!
Preliminary paper work to agency & started home study in 11/10
Profiles to agency on 1/12/11 - Officially waiting!
First home study visit scheduled for 1/29/11
Matched (Eek!) on 1/24/11
*Sweet baby boy born on 1/26/11*
I'm so sorry you are in this situation! I hope you can find peace whatever decision you make.
TTC #1 since 12/07
SA 9/08=borderline normal
HSG 1/09 found R tube blocked
Multiple IUIs both with oral and injectible drugs from 2/09-2/11
Started domestic adoption process in 5/10, homestudy complete 9/10
Failed adoption after home with baby for 2 weeks 11/10
Blessed through the miracle of private adoption with a son, born 6/6/11 (his grandma's bday) 7lbs 9oz 20.5 inches long! So worth the wait!
Re: I think we might be dissolving our match...ETA: reason a couple posts down
Basically what happened is this:
I had a conference call with our lawyer today. Usually he is very reassuring and positive. Today he wasn't. He let us know that there have been more and more red-flags popping up in this situation. One of which could put our adoption at legal risk (IWCA issues they learned of yesterday).
Bascially he said that if this was his situation, he would dissolve the match. If that is what we decide to do, he also wouldn't match them with any other families because of the risk involved.
This combined with the reduction in communication with us and the doubts that have already been creeping into my mind, makes me lean towards dissolving.
My husband wasn't on the call, he had to be at work, so he's waiting for the l wyer to all him back so he can chat and ask questions of him. I guess we have lots to talk about tonight if we don't fully decide today.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
ICWA is some not so fun stuff to deal with. I don't blame you one bit for that reason alone!
I hope you and your DH find some peace when you make your decision.
(((HUGS)))
I wish I had dissolved our failed placement before it got to that point. I kept seeing red flags (I even posted about them here) and kept telling myself it was just cold feet -- we had some ICWA issues as well, but I didn't dissolve it and we ended up handing the baby back when he was 5 days old. Sometimes it's just for the best. Self-preservation is a good thing.
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Oh, no!!
I am so sorry....regardless of your decision, you are in my Ts and Ps. We had to make a really hard decision like your decision but we waited until birth. We'd ignored what were flags. We were w/an attorney that kept making excuses for our concern. At the end of it all, our gut was right.
I know how hard it is to make these decisions and how sad you'll be. Hugs to you.