bad karma?

Am i the only person who hates being around pregnant people? I really can't stand it. My neighbor is pregnant, and at 13 weeks she has a prominent bump (she's impossibly thin, so it was bound to show!). I want to be happy for her, i really do, because she's a lovely person, I actually like her a lot, and she's so very excited (it's her first too! just married!). I want to be nice and inquire and my DH wants to hang out with them, but I just find it really painful and awkward, so I've been avoiding them.

I'm supposed to see my cousin this Christmas, and she had her baby 2 weeks before mine was due... I love my cousin, she's wonderful, but I'm really dreading seeing her. I'm afraid I'll bust into tears and ruin Christmas. 

I'm starting to think that if i keep this up I'm only going to spread some bad vibes all around me, and it's going to end up as bad karma. which only makes me feel worse.  I'm one month past my EDD, why do I still feel this way?? Why is this still so hard? I am better in a lot of ways, but this still hurts. I've finally gotten to the point where I can talk about it a bit, and I can compliment strangers, and walk through the baby section at Target, I can joke around with co-workers, and watch commercials without getting ridiculous... it's just this one thing.

Thank you all for reading/listening. I've had this on my chest for a while, and no one understands like the ladies on this board. I hope everyone has a lovely holiday. take care!