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Success after IF
Mouseygail
member
Would you BF if you could do it all over again?
Mouseygail
member
I'm thinking that the majority of the things that are stressing me out right now all stem from EBFing. And while I've made it five months and that's a lot further than I assumed I would at the beginning...now the thought of weaning fills me with angst, so that isn't an easy solution either...I'm wishing this week that I had never started BFing 
Just curious, after seeing a couple of FFC about not wanting to BF a second child, how many of you actually would/did/do....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you BF if you could do it all over again?
I wasn't able to BF after K was 10 days old. It wasn't by choice or for lack of BM - she had health problems and I was put on medication for my PPD that wasn't safe for BFing.
I'd give anything to change that. I really feel like I missed out on something, especially since I don't know if we'll be having a second child.
I'm sorry you're feeling so much stress about this. ((HUGS))
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I would/will, but I have to say that just thinking about those first weeks is one reason I'm not ready to for a second baby yet! We had a really rough time initially (low supply, nipple shield, slow weight gain)
But then I think of the time from 6-12 months when it was easy and great and it makes me want to do it again. Heck, I'm still BFing once before bed now at 18 months and I'm reluctant to give it up
Oooh, not sure I can be totally objective at this point. Except for the first 6 weeks, I've cherished it immensely as I know you have. I would do it all over again, especially now that I have some tricks up my sleeve. Hope I haven't scared you with the weaning posts this week. Thinking my hormones are just wacked :-)
Hang in there. It does make things a little more complicated, but hopefully it was worth it (and I guess we did save some $$ for awhile there if nothing else!)
I'm incredibly grateful that I've been able to BF Sam. It has been a lot of work - I am in my office, pumping right now! - but I also know that I've been luckier than a lot of women both in terms of having a baby with a good latch, a decent supply, and lots of support at work and at home. Had one of these things not gone as well, I am not sure I'd be as successful and in that situation, I could certainly see how not BFing would have been an easier choice.
The thought of weaning was so awful when I was about 5 months in - I think there is a sort of hormone flux that happened where I felt like I made this important, meaningful, wonderful choice that also set me up for years of obligation to my child. But now that I am cutting back and Sam is starting to slowly wean - it's not as angst inducing. Hang in there!
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Not at all! Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. Please don't feel bad.
This is a sore subject for me. I can't change the past and K is a healthy, happy, FF baby, but not by my choice. That's what upsets me more then anything...that the choice was made for me by an idiot doctor. But that's a whole other post.
Oh sweetie! I totally hear your pain!! I was totally clueless regarding the labor of love that bf takes. I would def do it all over again b/c of the benefit to LO but I would have much different expectations and even set up myself for success better. I would feel like I missed out on a special time with LO as well, although the stress DEF outweighed the emotional connection.
First off, know how much good you have done! You have provided so much good to your LO. I recommend the following 'therapy' for you:
First off congratulate yourself for making it this far. Do this in monetary ways by figuring out how much it would have cost to feed LO during this time. Then use that for something fun for YOU. Not DS, not DH, YOU!
If you are going to continue bf then figure out what is stressing you about this. For me it was not having good setups in multiple rooms. I have tried to make those better.
Try to set aside time to enjoy LO when you are bf. I know that it seems like a task, but spend some extra time holding DS before hand and try to chill while you are spending time.
If it is supply that is stressing you, supplement with formula for one feeding a day. Seriously this will NOT HARM your DS at all!!
Gosh I need to listen to my advice...ahahahaaha...
OH, my last piece of advice. Have a glass of wine on me! I wish we lived closer and could go for one. I'd even pump and dump!!
Hang in there you are doing a great job!!
TTC #1: IUI #2 = BFP , Betas 550 (16 dpiui), 1523 (18 dpiui)
Hypothyroid, LPD, FSH 13.0, TTC 2 yrs B4 BFP
TTC #2: FSH 23, AMA, IUI 1, 2, 3 = BFN, IVF #1 = MC
IVF #2 = BFP - Betas 194 (14dp2dt), 366 (16 dp2dt), 841 (18 dp2dt)
(vanished twin ~7 weeks)
Absolutely. I consider it the best thing I've ever done for DD, and maybe for myself. Am I tired as hell of it? Absolutely. I had a daydream today while walking into work of calling my RE, asking him to take my prolactin and him saying instead that he'd just give me some meds to dry up my milk and then DD would wean and we could TTC #2. Of course that's not what I want but I do want another baby. So...catch 22. But ya, I'm tired. I have my eleventy millionth clogged duct, my boob hurts so much right now that I sometimes see stars. When I get home tonight the first thing DD will want to do is nurse. So I can't pee, change clothes, or take off my freakin' watch without hearing her whine about it. I know I'm getting close to the limits of my family's acceptance of long-term BFing and I'm not excited about dealing with that. I want to buy a bra that doesn't have clips on it. I want my sex drive back.
But I'd do it all over again in an instant if I'm lucky enough to have a second baby.
Because we're fancy like that.
Gypsy God bless u- you are a strong woman:)
Yes. Absolutely.
There were times when I felt just like you do now...and wanted to quit, but I knew how guilty I would feel if I did...so I just kept going.
Even now, at almost 13 months, I am feeling guilty about weaning. I planned to wean her at 12 months, but just couldn't do it....and I doubt I will get it done before she is 14 or 15 months old.
I will do everything in my power to EBF a second child for 6 months, then BF until after a year old...
If it makes you feel better, my entire family thinks I'm nuts (except DH).
Mine was one of the FFCs you're referring to
and I'm obviously torn about what I'll do next time. There honestly just wasn't anything I liked about BFing, as strange as that might sound (although I'm thankful if it at all contributed to DS being as healthy as he is) - it seemed like all work. I don't even relate to those who talk about a special bond/ connection from BFing - it wasn't any more special to me than bottle feeding!! I know, I know, sounds insane. . .
All that said, major props to you for keeping it up so long! Agree with a pp-er who recommended trying to figure out just what it is you don't like about BFing. For me, for example, it was partly due to the fact that I wouldn't BF in public, so I felt very home-bound, like I was always removing myself from everyone, etc. Also, my supply sucked. I know there are ways "around" all of that, just none that sounded "worth it" to me from a personal stress/ happiness standpoint.
GL, whatever you decide!
eta: Would I do it again? Yes, I'm very glad I tried. And, quite frankly, I made it longer than I thought I would. I told myself to give it 4 weeks, and I knew from the beginning that I would quit when I went back after 3 months. Well, even though I only EBF for 4 weeks before supplementing due to weight gain/ supply issues, I kept BFing until right at 3 months when my supply totally dried up, and I was going back to work anyway. I'm glad that I gave it a try and won't look back and wonder, but I'm also glad that I was easy on myself and "let" myself off the hook when the time came
Awwww. Thanks
But really I'm not. I'm having an exceptionally bad day. I'm po'd because for the first time in my legal career I have to cut short a vacation, and it's Christmas. And it could have been avoided but whatever. I'm the low (wo)man on the totem pole so it is what it is. I do love breastfeeding though and I think it's helped me stay focused on those small, calm moments where I can just be a mother. Not a lawyer, not a wife, not a crazy person rushing through traffic from appointment to appointment but just a mom, holding her baby (ahem toddler), and soaking in every moment. I'm sure FFing moms have those same moments but BFing grounds me in a very important way.
Well, in my case my DS was a great bfeeder but he had bad, bad reflux and I had to pump so that I could give him prevacid and rice cereal in his milk. I pumped until he was about 8 months and we went through our frozen milk pretty fast - so by about 10 months he was on formula.
With DD I really, really wanted to exclusively breast feed for a whole year. It was my main goal with my second pg. I wanted to feel that bond - plus I wanted her to have only breast milk for that first year. So since it was my top priority I was basically the bf nazi for that year - especially for the first 6 months so that I would establish a good supply and routine with her.
If I had it to do over again - I wouldn't change a thing. I am very very happy I ebf DD for 13 months. If I am blessed enough to be able to ever have another child, I will do all I can to make it a year again.
I haven't read pps, but I'll respond for myself.
I went through he!! BFing Kira. She refused to go anywhere near my breast after her first day. Even though I knew to the fraction of an ounce how much she was eating because I was EPing (more than enough), I had to put up with 2-3/wk weight checks for the first two months since she wasn't gaining weight. Then at 20 days I developed about every infection in the book -- clogged ducts, shooting pains, mastitis, thrush, vasospasms -- that lasted until she was 5+ months old. I started EPing at 3 days old, and she finally started latching at 7 weeks, but ate *constantly* because she was so weak (2 hours on one side, 2 hours on the other, back, forth, etc.), and I continued to pump to try to clear out my multiple clogged ducts until she was about 6 months old. I couldn't leave the house because I couldn't put on a shirt without being in excruciating pain.
After going through all of that, my goal was to BF until she turned 2 (before she was born my goal was 1), and then as long as she wanted to after that. I even altered my plans to go back to the RE, followed by altering my protocol once I did go back, so that I could continue BFing. She nursed until I was in my 2nd trimester when she weaned herself, but I think that had more to do with my pg than with her, and I expect her to want to nurse again.
There are just too many benefits! Knock on wood, Kira has never had more than a cough or runny nose. She has never had a sick visit to the doctor; we just had her 3 year appt. and she hadn't been since her 2 year appt. The rest of us can be dropping like flies yet she is just fine. That stands out to me more than anything.
Thankfully at 7 days old I have not had any issues yet with Elena, and although now I don't know how I'd EP while having a 3 year old running around, I'd go through he!! and back again if it meant I could do for Elena what I was able to do for Kira.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
It wasn't for me, I lasted about 6 weeks and I didn't want to deal with pumping when I went back to work at 12 weeks. I guess I would do it again while on maternity leave. If I was a SAHM I might of stuck it out longer who knows? Good luck and do what's best for you
Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
Because we're fancy like that.
I breastfeed my first for around two months and would not try it again. I did not even try with my second nor will I with any future children.
It wasn't even what I would call "hard." It was more just far too time consuming and tiring. My supply wasn't what it should be and so I had to pump as well and once you have a second child it just gets that much harder to find the time for all that. It just wasn't worth it to me.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
LOL! I spent my 3rd trimester in a regular bra again -- I forgot I had so many of them, hee hee.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
My situation is a little different also I EP..Due to Jake being in the NICU for 10 days and us just wanting to get him home. We just had to have him eat for 48hrs straight from a bottle to get him home. Jake really never got hold of the whole boob thing but he loves my milk so I just pump.
My plan/goal was orginally pump for 4 months well we have passed that goal and now I am just going to suck it up and do it for 6mths. Let me tell you though that EP is hard, I have a good supply but it is starting to tank cause I am pumping less. I am just barley able to keep up with his needs and we do suppliment with FF (we are prob 80% BM 10/20% FF) it just depends on the day. And Jake only likes the RTF.
I have also gone through ALL of my frozen milk!! It was like 4 huge bags full BM that are all gone. But I still plan on going to 6mths and in that time start to really ween. I am currently fighting off a cold so who knows..Drinking lots of tea..but I have been there soo many times..when Jake is screaming at 4pm and I have to pump and DH isn't home is terrible..I have become great at pumping, holding the baby and standing all at the same time.I probably look so silly but ohh well...
I have NO advice. I just know where you are coming from. I am also so tired of not having ANY SEX drive..it's really pathetic how low it is and I want to have another baby soon. And I also want to wear a bra again!! Big Hugs!!
I'm still nursing my 30 month old, though he often tells me booboos don't have any milk left. The idea of quitting makes both of us sad. I can't remember ever wanting to quit. When it's done I'll be sad sad sad.
We struggled with it in the beginning as he lost a ton of weight and had jaundice and was slow to gain it back but nursing felt right and was never in doubt for me. And some nights were crazy hard but we got through it. I pumped until he was 14 months old (while I was at work) and had to force myself to stop.
If we have another child, the only thing that makes me just too damn tired is the pumping. But I haven't pumped in a whole year so I'm sure I'd do it again.
I definitely want to. But if I have learned ANYTHING (and clearly, I've learned tons) from having a baby it is to have a plan A and a plan B and be willing to use it.
I am so happy I am not still breastfeeding but I also have a baby who is almost never sick and I attribute at least some of that to the fact that she has my anti-bodies....
But if I have a second, who knows. Plan A is to breastfeed for 6 months. But we'll have to see how it works out.
Yes. I wish I had tried harder at BFing James, but he was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy at 5 weeks, I had a low supply and was so frustrated and worried that he wasn't getting enough, and didn't think I could go off dairy, so I switched to formula at that point.
With Ben it has gone so much better, although he is slow to gain weight and we're still not on a great schedule. He's a snacker. He also won't take any formula at all which is going to make it really difficult when I go back to work next month. But I've loved the bonding and feeling like my body is doing something so important. I still can't believe that I'm actually EBFing.
That being said, for me the breastfeeding is all about the bonding, not so much about feeling like my babies need it for health reasons. Yes, I know it has the antibodies but I don't really feel that formula-fed babies are at much of a disadvantage if any. I would have no problem having DH give Ben some formula bottles during the night, if he would only take them, so I could get some consecutive sleep!
I would never EBF. Not worth the stress.
Future kids, I'll offer BF, and if it goes well, do half anf half. Otherwise, formula works for me.
I absolutely would. Like others, we had trouble at the beginning-- my guys didn't latch even once in the time we were in the hospital, my milk didn't come in for 5 days... But once we all got the hang of it, it has been wonderful for us. I love how comforting they find it (and I do, too). I love how excited they get when I put them on my lap and reach for my shirt. I love that I am the only one in the world who has this relationship with them. My original goal was 6 months, now it is a minimum of 1 year. I just know when 1 year hits, I am still going to be bf'ing them at night before bed. And that the second we stop that I'm going to want to get pregnant again!
Also-- I know part of this is that I have barely worked since they were born. If I were working full-time, I might feel differently.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Yes, I'll BF this one, but I think I'll be much more laid back about it this time. I have absolutely no intention of pumping this time, so baby girl will be getting a bottle of formula here and there, and I'm totally fine with that.
I weaned H at 8 months and I'll do the same again. It's a good age to wean...it was easy for both of us.