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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Liz342
member
At what age do you tell them meal is over if they don't eat what you gave them?
Liz342
member
DD is a very picky eater and we basically keep giving her things during meals until we find something she will eat. If she just eats a couple bites we usually call that good and just make sure she has a snack later but if we give her something we know she likes and she won't eat it, we just give her a pb and j or something just so she will get something to eat.
I know this is probably starting bad habits but with her being so young I want to make sure she eats. I know that when toddlers get older you can start saying, "if you don't eat lunch, you have to wait until dinner to eat" etc. (I'm not saying no snack, I'm just saying you stop giving them things during the meal until they eat).
Also, I'm not saying this applies when I give her something I know she doesn't like, it's when I give her something she normally eats.
At what age would you start ending the meal if they don't eat? Or would you even do that?
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Re: At what age do you tell them meal is over if they don't eat what you gave them?
We have set meal and snack times. If DD doesn't eat at one of those, she waits. There are some nights that she doesn't eat much dinner. She will pick at a few bites and then wait for her bedtime snack. I've never had a night where she's crying that she's hungry. If she was I would probably give her a healthy snack. But I'm not a short order cook. She eats what we're having or she doesn't eat.
She doesn't like chicken pot pie. We've tried it with her twice. Both times she took a bit and said "don't like it." She ate a biscuit and waited for bedtime snack.
So to answer your question, this is how we've always done it. DD is not a super picky eater though. Some nights she's just not hungry, I don't believe in forcing her to eat, I think that could start some eating problems in the future. I always had to eat even if I wasn't hungry and to this day I still have trouble telling when I'm full.
I do this now. DD is such a slow eater, so I usually leave her plate out for about a half hour. I'd probably leave the food out and let her graze all day or night on it, but I have to crate our dog when DD eats and the dog would never see the light of day. lol
I used to feel a bit like a short order cook, but then I stopped making alternate meals for DS. I make sure there are at least one or two items in the meal that I know he likes. I don't allow grazing so if he gets up from the table the meal is over. He normally gets a bedtime snack, but if he doesn't eat his dinner, then all he can have for snack are items from the meal (reheated if necessary) or sometimes I'll allow a yogurt or banana (healthy snack).
It took us awhile to get here and I finally realized that I have to put my foot down or my kid would subsist entirely by snacking and would have me running around like crazy trying to please him. It's still a battle, but eventually I think he'll get it.
Yeah, we pretty much do that now. And have for... IDK... months.
What we're eating is what we're eating. Sometimes DD likes it, sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes she eats a good meal, sometimes she doesn't.
We talked to our pedi about her eating, and he said that at her age as long as she's getting one "normal" sized meal each day, and her growth curve continues to be normal, then no worries. No need to force food, or cater to her. And she's much better of eating a few bites of healthy foods, then us giving in to her and her getting a full tummy of something unhealthy.
I'd say be prepared for some tantrums the first couple of times you enforce it, but otherwise, go for it.
GL!
The bottom line is kids won't starve themselves (really)... it may make your life a living hell for a few days but they will eventually eat food. I learned early with DS#1 that catering to what he wants was not the way to go for us. I'm not saying he wanted junk food, (because fruit was and is still his favorite thing) but he wanted the same things over and over. The rule in our house, one meal prepared, one meal served, and for breakfast and lunch, take it or leave it, for dinner you sit there until you eat it. Everyone hates me for this, but my kids eat whatever is put in front of them, even the two year old... (my 10 month old hasn't hit the "I don' want it" phase yet, and I hope she never does). The kids get 3-4 "bites" of each kind of food on their plate (ex. chicken, carrots, potatoes), they HAVE to finish that, they can always ask for more of anything we are serving after that. When they finish, dessert is usually fruit, or an occasional scoop of ice cream.
To start this process, we would give them a piece of fruit after 2 bites of food, and then 3 bites, so on and so forth until dinner was gone. Now dessert is given after dinner (and after they clear their plate to the sink)... We also put the food on the table so they can see it, I realized it was hard for them to "visualize" they could have more food if they couldn't see it, and if they saw what they were getting for dessert, it motivated them a lot.
I also find that when they help prepare the meal, they are more likely to eat it, same goes if you give them a choice, do you want carrots, or celery for the veggie, but once the decision is made, there is no going back!
This exactly. His eating goes in spurts. Some weeks he eats a few bites and he's done. Some weeks he eats two or three plates of something. I find that he eats two larger meals. And for us, we make sure that snack == junk. Snacks are healthy foods like sliced apples, sliced veggies with dip, cheese stick, etc. If I'm taking a long time getting dinner ready, I'll often give him some raw veggies first while he's still hungry.
This exactly. His eating goes in spurts. Some weeks he eats a few bites and he's done. Some weeks he eats two or three plates of something. I find that he eats two larger meals. And for us, we make sure that snack == junk. Snacks are healthy foods like sliced apples, sliced veggies with dip, cheese stick, etc. If I'm taking a long time getting dinner ready, I'll often give him some raw veggies first while he's still hungry.
DS is such a picky AND SLOW eater that it can take him forever to eat his meal. He'd rather run around and play than eat. He has a little table where he eats his dinner where I leave his plate until he's done (he always finishes his meals it just takes him a long time). It doesn't bother me to do that because he's always been like that.
I also don't offer him a bedtime snack. We don't get home until 545-6 as it is and he's in bed about 930.
I am one to make what he wants. I give him two options and he chooses. He eats about 5% of the foods that I eat so I just make sure I have foods on hand that he'll eat.....I don't force him to eat what I eat as I had that done to me when I was growing up and I had/have problems with food (I have a tendency to not eat enough, or rather just sit and relax on the couch than eat)
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Thank you for the advice! I think my DD is probably at the age where I will start incorporating these ideas but I just can't help but wonder- if I KNOW that she will eat a pb and j, why not give her one if she doesn't eat what I gave her?
I think she's probably going to start catching on now that she's 2 that she can get what she wants by refusing certain things but for the past year or so, if she didn't eat I would make her a grilled cheese, pb and j, bowl of cereal- just something easy.
My DD turned 2 a month ago and she weighs 25 pounds. I am desperare to get her to eat and if there are certain things she likes I don't see the harm in giving her them (as long as it's not junk food). I do agree, though, that older LOs should start eating what they are given and we are probably entering that phase but when your LOs were 1-2 yrs old did you follow the same practice you are doing now?