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May 2011 Moms
bhilyer
member
Getting baby on schedule
bhilyer
member
It occurred to me the other day that I know A LOT about my body, getting pregnant, IF treatments, etc. I've also done a lot of reading on what to expect while pregnant. But I realized that once the babies are here, I'm kind of clueless.
I will be returning to work when the babies are about 3 months old. I hope to have the babies on a schedule by this point. I've done some research on Babywise at the suggestion of a friend, but wanted to know:
~Are you planning to use a program like BabyWise to help facilitate a schedule for your baby? If so which one.
~If you're a 2nd or 3rd time mom, have you used a program before? Did it work? When did you feel like your baby was on a schedule?
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Re: Getting baby on schedule
I have serious issues with Babywise. Serious. So no, we did not use it.
Babies that are 3 months old MIGHT be on some sort of routine morning nap at that point, but it is completely unrealistic to set huge expectations for 'schedules' at that age.
We used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and it worked really well for us--but we also understood that we couldn't and were not willling to push or force anything, and DD really did fall into patterns as he predicted. We have always made sleep a priority, and given her the environment with which to develop good habits. We never had to use CIO, and she's always been an excellent sleeper. I would definitely recommend it.
The American Academy of Pediatrics actually recommends not using Baby Wise because it has been related to Failure to Thrive.
Other than that, I am kind of of the opinion that babies shouldn't be expected to conform to our schedules. They aren't developed enough to understand that.
This will be my first baby, but from what other moms have told me, babies tend to put themselves on their own sort of schedule, and it was frustrating and made them feel like failures when they tried to enforce a schedule.
ETA because moms pleural does not need an apostrophe...
I agree with this 100 percent. There is no way your baby will be on a routine before 3 months. The first 3 months babies need to be spoiled and cuddled.
you should post this on the multiples board....with people who have experience in this.
I have experience with one kid, but two are a totally different ball game. I read some books, I can't remember which ones, and some of the tips/advice we just didn't agree with.
I can tell you that the more you try to keep them up during the day, the worse it is. Sleep begets sleep. Once my son was up to weight, I did not wake him in the middle of the night for a feeding. I did not wake up to change him or anything like that. I would wake him during the day if it overlapped a feeding time.
If you are awake during the day, make sure the room is fully lit. If it's nighttime, make sure the room is dark. I fully believe the light/dark can mess with them. Be as consistent as possible with the dark/light.
Join our wiki and tell us what your baby eats for finger foods.
First, Babywise has been HUGELY revamped over the years, so just do your research. I have many friends who used it and it is a routine, not a schedule. You will pretty much only hear negative feedback about it on the Bump, mostly from people who only have read negative articles about the older version and not actually read the book.
I used Baby Whisperer and got LO on a routine at about 4 months. I say routine instead of Schedule, because yes, I had times written down for everything to happen, but you also need to listen to your baby. I really wish I had gotten him on a routine earlier. It is not true that all babies get themselves on a routine. He was a mess, I was a mess and I was terribly confused as to what he needed from me. He also had circles under his eyes, never slept and was barely gaining weight. Once I put him on a routine he THRIVED and I was one happy momma. Most babies love a routine and knowing what is coming next.
I will definitely be getting this baby on a routine MUCH sooner.
Have you even looked at the Babywise schedule? It borders on child abuse IMHO. Please do your research before you even consider this at all. The guy who wrote the book is a pastor with no medical background and obviously some serious control issues. I'm not one to tell people how to raise their children but I will judge anyone who follows the Babywise program...they are idiots.
You can't expect 3 month old babies to be on a set schedule. Part of having kids is the notion that you can't plan everything and you certainly can't control the eating and sleeping habits of infants. I am a firm believer that babies need to be fed when hungry and soothed when crying. Let them set their own schedule, they'll figure it out eventually. I went back to work at 3 months too and DS didn't start STTN until 9 or 10 months. It was fine, I was fine- you adjust, the babies will adjust. I know people who had kids STTN at 6 months and some not until 18 months, you just have to let them work it out. Forcing a schedule onto them will only cause other (major) issues including Failure to Thrive as previously mentioned.
I would love to see the "special bulletin", because I can't find it. I searched the AAP website (which is the only source you should use, not random internet sites) and the only articles I can find about Babywise are from 1998, before the book was rewritten.
Thanks for your input ladies. I've just started my research and still have a lot to do.
When I think of a "schedule", I guess it is more in terms of a daily routine. That being said, I know that will little ones, every day can bring new surprises and challenges. I also believe that it's important to feed a child when hungry and soothe when crying.
For those of you that are having your 2nd or 3rd child, did you use any particular program as a guide or did you just figure it out as you went?
Mrs.Saxy - thanks for your suggestion of posting this on the Multiples board. There is a similar post over there right now and a couple of the MoMs suggested Babywise.
wow, i never would have thought about this. thanks for posting this!
I did not know that. I take back my statement about Babywise-ers being idiots...although I still don't agree with it. I do agree that older babies sometimes need a little directing when it comes to getting a routine going but I feel you need to let your baby set the base for that routine.
That is all
Ditto this EXACTLY.
Don't listen to the naysayers on TB that trash-talk Babywise. Do your research, glean what you can from each book and most importantly, use common sense and take advantage of your instincts.
I absolutely LOVE anything Tracy Hogg (baby whisperer) and yes, even *gasp* the Babywise concepts. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is also a definite must-read.
GL.
I just want to tell you how smart you are for recognizing this important issue so early on. I was so focused on my pregnancy and my delivery, I didn't really think about what was going to happen once my baby came home with me. It created some major issues for me, too, so kudos to you for realizing this already.
I have only heard bad things about Baby Wise, but I have never done any research so I don't have any input. I read a lot (and I mean A LOT) of books because my DD was not a sleeper and I was going nuts. I really didn't like Tracey Hogg and found her style to be condescending. I did like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. In the end, I was so exhausted and worn out from reading so many books, I hired a baby sleep coach who helped me (via phone) get Lily on a sleep routine at around 5 months. It changed our world, and this time I'm really hoping I can figure things out much sooner.
It never really occurred to me to try to put the baby on a schedule with DD...I just went along with my day, and worked around the baby when I needed to. I got lucky, and she slept through the night at an early age, and took 2 predictable naps every day after a few weeks...
https://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/14/4/21
here is the link. i got it by googling babywise + american academy of pediatrics. hope it helps.
The most recent revised edition of Babywise was published in 2001. This is from 1998 like Janice mentioned above.
This.
Yeah, that's an old article based on an old version of the book. I would like to see their opinion on the current version.
It's really hard to say what will work for you and your baby. LC's and LLL told me to feed my baby on demand and he ended up with failure to thrive (he was born at 8lbs 12 oz and quickly dropped to 3rd percentile) until I put him on a routine. Is that going to happen with everyone? No. Will I allow the new baby to feed on demand at first? of course. But I think it is great to read a variety of books while you have time right now. I didn't read ANYTHING thinking I would just let DS feed and nap on demand and it was a nightmare.
This!
But, DS was not on a consistent nap schedule until 4-5 months old. I was home with him so I nursed and let him sleep on demand. If you are going back to work and doing daycare, that might help establish a routine earlier.
But highly recommend the above referenced book!!
This is a good point. I used Babywise for DD, and everything went perfectly. We got so many compliments on how easy she was, and according to the new versions of the book I had, it was all great advice. We were recommended the book from a mom of twin girls.
This is our first baby and to be honest...I haven't given too much thought to this topic.
However, I am a Kindergarten Teacher and have worked in two different daycare programs (especially in the infant and toddler rooms).
With that being said...I definitely think that watching the baby for cues will be most important. Furthermore, having a routine will help ease them into activities. For example, I know of many parents who create an evening routine that leads to bedtime (bath, story, feeding while rocking, lay in crib). They follow the same series of events every night/every time at nap to "trigger the sleepiness". As it worked with Pavlov's dogs...eventually you will be able to condition the baby to know that when that routine is followed they should get sleepy (just like how the dogs would salivate when the bells were rung). Lol sorry for the funny example, but that is how I think about it.
I have found that routines and consistency are really important to the happiness of children and those who care for them. My Kindergarteners get completely thrown off if I skip a step in our routine...they will suddenly call out "wait...you forgot to ________". If I am inconsistent, they are quick to pick up on it, or get upset by it. I know it may seem crazy, but children really do love routines, consistency, and boundaries.
In the end though, I really do think it all should revolve around the cues that your child gives to you. This is the same way that it is handled in the daycares that I have worked in. There is no set nap time for infants. When they get sleepy...we put them down for a nap...its that simple. Feedings of course are a completely different story because babies need to be fed every 2-3 hours.
I agree with everyone else though that if you really try to nail it down to specific times you will just end up getting frustrated and feeling like a failure because so much can happen to throw that off.
Best of luck!