Struggles.

hmclaughlin10 · December 2010

I'm struggling, and at this point I don't know how to handle this. Everyday is something different and I go to sleep feeling like I can't conquer another day. All I want to do is be alone; but then all I do is cry and I don't know how else to show my emotions. My DH doesn't understand and I feel so bad because I have such a short fuse with him. Although they are trying, my parents don't get it either and I am so sick of hearing "everything is going to be okay", because at this point I don't feel like it's going to be. The in-laws are far from supportive. All I have heard from them is "get over it" and "it's nothing to be upset about". ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I deactivated my facebook a couple weeks after we found out I was pregnant, and tried to reactivate it the other day. I got some great posts from friends saying they were glad I was back on and they missed me, but I couldn't handle being on there. So many people are having babies or are pregnant and it tears me down even seeing pictures of their little bumps. I had to deactivate it again because of the stabbing feeling it gave me.

I just want to know I am not alone:( I want this feeling to go away and I want to be strong again. I want to have motivation to go to the gym and get back to my normal self. Dreading another day is a horrible feeling and I wonder when this will go away.

MrsAtch · December 2010

You aren't alone at all. A lot of us are in the same boat. My MC was 11/29 and today is the first day I've been busy enough and strong enough not to cry. And the day isn't over yet. But here I am, on this page- because tears or no tears I'm still struggling. I'm avoiding facebook, and friends that are pregnant. You're in-laws are insensitive at best, and things I won't say out loud at worst. Take the time you need to grieve- it's different for everybody, and easy for no one. (Hug)

We are here. And you aren't alone.

88eve88 · December 2010

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I found out today at my u/s appt. that my little one didn't make it and I think I'm still in a bit of shock. All day I've tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have to think about it, but it pops in all the time. I actually went to the mall to get some Christmas shopping done, and that was a bad idea ... cute babies EVERYWHERE! And I kept thinking ... "How come they could do it and I couldn't?" An unhealthy thought, I know. My DH and I never told family and friends (for this exact reason), so the only person I need to update is my dentist.

You are not alone. Everyone deals with loss differently, but everyone needs to grieve. You will be strong again, but you need time to let your heart heal. Just take it one day at a time. Celebrate small successes. Sending {{hugs}} your way!!

carrieandtim · December 2010

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are definitely not alone in your struggles. This is a very, very difficult road to be on. One that does not seem much easier as the hours go on. I will say, after my first m/c, time did seem to heal. As I'm dealing with my 2nd m/c, the healing I did have seems gone and everything has resurfaced. I hope with time, we can heal more and more each day.

Fallon621 · December 2010

I am so sorry that you are going through this horrible time. Try to ignore or avoid negative people if you can.

And you are def not alone at all!!!!!!!! I too had trouble being on my facebook for a little while and didnt go on but I needed support from some friends on there that i do not get to talk to on the Daily and there are 10 YES 10 of my friends or family pregnant on there so what you can do as I did is block their posts only that way you dont have to see the U/s pics and bump pics and just explain that it is too hard for you to see and that hopefully some day you will be able to cope a little better. Or dont explain anything at all if you dont want to. they wont know you blocked their posts and its better then deleting them.. I hope this helps you and good luck with everything thats going on. It will never be ok but im sure that with time it will get a little easier (so thats what im told) (((HUGS)))

dana1318a · December 2010

You are absolutely not alone! I get irritated when someone tells me it will all be ok, because no, it won't. Yes, I will heal and hopefully go on to give birth to beautiful, healthy babies. But there will always be the scar on my heart from the loss of my first child. I am so sorry your family is not better equipped to comfort you, but at the same time so grateful that they are not. As far as your in-laws, they could use some sensitivity training definitely. Please don't ever let anyone make you feel like you are overreacting.

I totally understand about facebook setting you back. I deleted everyone from my page that isn't actually a good friend (that I see in person pretty regularly) or a family member. There are still plenty of women in that group though who are constantly uploading pictures of their new babies, or updating their status about how their pregnancy is progressing. It's hard to see, but I think I need to see it. There will always be babies. I try to look at it as I'd rather have a break down in my own home looking at facebook pictures, than in a grocery store when a woman gets on line behind me with her new baby. But if you're not ready, don't rush it! That's just how I try to handle it personally, but to each her own.

((hugs))

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