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DH bonding with LO...

Jen3016Jen3016
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I'm looking for some suggestions/advice on how to help DH "bond" with our LO.  He works until 6 most nights and 8 a couple nights a week.  This tends to be DD's "prime" fuss time, and we also tend to cluster feed during these hours.  We put her to bed about 9:30.  My poor DH tries really hard to comfort and entertain her, but when she gets fussy, the only thing she really tends to want is the breast.  She's not a pacifier taker, and does tend to comfort suck at the breast in the evenings.  We breastfeed, and give her one 2oz bottle at her last feeding, so DH does have that time with her.   

What are some things that your DHs do to bond with your LOs or to comfort them when they are fussy.  I suggested skin to skin time with him and her using the moby, and he wasn't too convinced about that...apparently the moby is a little too "hippie" for him...LOL! (I love my moby btw!)

Thanks in advance for suggestions!

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Re: DH bonding with LO...

  • PunkyBoosterPunkyBooster member

    If he wants the breast, he gets it, but DH spends a lot of time talking to him, making faces, gazing at him, now that DS is making eye contact DH really feels a connection, I think.

    He has worn DS in the moby a few times, but he's not a huge fan of that. What about if your DH reads or sings LO a story or song before bed each night? Or rocks LO? 

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  • jim7496jim7496

    What are your mornings like?  Can DH maybe wake up earlier to spend time with LO then? 

    Some things DH does to bond with LO is feed him, change him, and interact with him during some tummy time and play mat time.  Basically any time he can get his hands on DS he is there.  He adores his son.  Maybe you could put BM in a bottle for DH to help with feeding?  

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  • VerboseVerbose
    My DH is an ER doc and works absolutely ridiculous hours. Finding time to bond isn't always easy for us so we safely bedshare (although DH/DS bonding isn't the only reason we do this). Anyway, studies have shown that safely bedsharing (with DH in the bed) helps create a bond between the two and also helps DH become more in-tune with DS's needs. Bedsharing isn't for everyone, but over time DS has grown accustomed to DH's scent and has clearly become more comfortable with him.
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  • brittlandkbrittlandk

    My DH does bedtimes: bath, story, puts DS in his crib, and soothes as necessary until he falls asleep. If DS needs to nurse, I do it while DH reads. This allows bonding for them and I get some much needed "me" time. I think DH secretly LOVES that he can put DS to bed faster than I can.

     

     

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  • Lizzie65Lizzie65

    I felt like it was hard the first few weeks as well.  I was constantly breastfeeding and my daughter was super fussy at night when my husband was home.  When she got fussy, it seemed she was more easily soothed by me.  It was a pretty frustrating situation.

    My husband would normally get quality time with her in the mornings when she was in a better mood.  Also, on the weekends, they would have a lot of snuggle time.  This worked well for us.  

    Finally, it got a lot easier after the first few weeks.  My daughter was eating less frequently, was less fussy, and more easily soothed.  This made it a ton easier for my husband to bond with her.  

    Good luck. 

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  • Jen3016Jen3016
    Thanks so much for the input! DH gives a bottle in the evenings and thats usually how she falls asleep. I'm still on maternity leave so DD and I sleep n when we can. Once I go back to work, I think we will be able to have daddy time in the morning. I like the idea of DH doing the bedtime routine. I will have to suggest that to him. It is hard because I do spend the mojority of the day with her, so it's just natural that I would be able to soothe her quicker. I know DH is looking forward to a few weeks from now when she's more interactive and has a schedule of sorts. I'm sure it it's a struggle most new parents go through the first few weeks.
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  • rlyttlerlyttle member
    My LO used to cluster feed all evening as well. He's grown out of that so DH gets to spend more time with him in the evenings. Just like now- they are on the couch watching Sports Center together....now that's bonding  :)  After I nurse LO, I give him to DH and try to let them have 'alone' bonding time for a bit. I'm right in the next room so I can hear. It's so cute to hear my DH talk to LO. Adorable! I just heard kisses....awwwww.
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