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Baby Showers
Does Location = Hosting?
So far, the only mention of a shower for me has been through one text message from my little sister asking if I'd rather have a shower at my other sister's house or at mine.
Um, neither? I feel a little awkward about having it at mine because I don't want it to look like I'm hosting. BUT, my house is much better suited for a shower (in my opinion), and since it'll be the middle of winter, I'd be more comfortable staying home.
My sister's house is an hour away, and I'm crazy-scared of her driveway. It's a huge hill on a curve with a drop-off side. I really don't want to go there when it's snowing, and I can just imagine everyone I know getting stuck in her driveway while there... she lives on a highway, so there's no way people could park on the road. It wouldn't be safe.
I was hoping my MIL would want to host. She has a humongo house in a nice neighborhood with plenty of driveway and street parking. But she hasn't mentioned it at all. I just saw her yesterday, and she didn't say a word. So I'm thinking that's probably not happening unless she's just waiting for the holidays to be over and when the new year comes, she'll start thinking more about it. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully.
AND- something else I've been thinking about... if she does want to host, how do I handle that with my sisters? The two sides of the family don't talk. Not because of anything bad, it's just separate. So they don't know each other at all. Would it be wrong of me to suggest they all work together? This is only IF MIL and sisters both want to throw one. And maybe they won't. But I just wanted advice on how to handle it if it comes up. And if MIL doesn't mention it until later but sisters already have been making some plans, how do I handle that? Am I stuck having it at my house or my sisters house because sisters started planning first?
And I especially want advice on how to put off deciding on a location until I'm sure MIL definitely won't be offering to host.
P.S. Not being gift grabby here, and I'm not taking showers for granted. I'm not assuming I'll have one at all, and I won't be mentioning it to anyone. These are just issues I can see that might come up, and I'd like to know ahead of time how to handle them if they do.
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Re: Does Location = Hosting?
The shower being located at your house =/= hosting the shower. It just means that your house was most convenient. The hosts are the people who plan, prepare and pay for everything.
If [MIL] does want to host, how do I handle that with my sisters? The two sides of the family don't talk. Not because of anything bad, it's just separate. It sounds like your sisters have already started planning your shower which will likely just be for your side of the family and some friends. So, if your MIL does decide to host a shower, she can invite your H's family and any leftover friends that weren't invited to the first one (don't double up on shower invites).
So they don't know each other at all. Would it be wrong of me to suggest they all work together? This is only IF MIL and sisters both want to throw one. And maybe they won't. Eh, it depends on how you think your sisters and MIL would take it. If they don't associate normally, I don't see them all getting together to host a big baby shower. It sounds like you'd be better off with separate showers for each family.
And if MIL doesn't mention it until later but sisters already have been making some plans, how do I handle that? Am I stuck having it at my house or my sisters house because sisters started planning first? It's pretty rude to cancel a shower that is in progress just because something better comes up. It may not be your ideal shower and perhaps not as nice as what your MIL may, hypothetically, decide to throw but you've already accepted your sisters offer.
And I especially want advice on how to put off deciding on a location until I'm sure MIL definitely won't be offering to host. Agree to have the shower at your house. Nobody is going to care. Besides, you won't have to lug gifts home that way.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
Location does not equal hosting. As long as your sister is listed on the invite as "hostess", all is good. And honestly, it's much easier to have it at your house sot hat you don't have to cart everything home.
As for who to invite/ who is throwing a shower, etc.... when the time comes to do an invitation list, first, find out how many people your sister can even afford to host.
IF she can host everyone, include your IL's side (I odn't get your issue about the 2 sides not talking. I assume they were all at your wedding and everyone got along fine...). Just ask your MIL for a list. To that, she might say "Oh - I want to host one for my family", ad you say "Ok - great. I'll let sis know" and your sis is off the hook for those people.
If your sister can't afford to include both families, then you do nothing. you invite MIL no matter what, but beyond that, you do nothing. IF MIL asks about a shower and/or inviting her family, you simply say "Sis isn't able to host more than __ people. I'm really sorry". And she will either say "Oh, ok.", or she'll offer to help host, OR she'll offer to throw a shower for her family.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Well, my wedding was five and half years ago, and they've had no reason to talk or get together since then. So, yes, they got along fine, but I'd personally find it awkward to co-host with someone I had only met maybe twice in my life and hadn't seen in over five years. So it's not an issue, just maybe a point of awkwardness.
And it would also be weird to have two showers since both sides of the family are pretty small, MIL's especially. If she threw one for just her side, there'd probably five people there, at most. Hmm, maybe that's why she hasn't mentioned anything. I'll probably go with having it at my house since that doesn't seem to be an etiquette issue.
Thanks!