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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I can't think of a title, but I'm pissed.**updated**
I have been so grumpy all morning b/c of this and I need to vent somewhere. If I tell DH while he's working, he's going to blow up.
First, a question. Is it not common courtesy to ask someone before buying a pet as a gift?
My lovely mother informed this morning that she bought the kids a rabbit for Christmas. She is heartbroken (can you feel my eyes rolling here?) that we have not replaced our cat and dog after they passed and apparently the quality of my kids' live is suffering without pets.
She purchased the rabbit, but hasn't picked it up yet. Our family is friends with our local pet store owner and he is holding it for her. And she already bought all of the gear for it. Of course she had to let me know it was some expensive floppy eared thing, as if that will change my mind.
She defintely knows we don't want any more pets. I reiterated this and flat out told her no. I did refrain from asking if her Christmas cheer has depleted her brain cells to a dangerously low level.
Now I am the bad parent that won't let her kids have a fuzzy wuzzy cutesy little rabbit. FFS She's pissed at me and accusing me of trying to ruin Christmas. And she made no indication that she's not getting the rabbit still.
Eff me. I'm tired of this. This is ridiculous and I can't deal with it right now.
UPDATE
Talked to my mom. I told her we'd leave the bunny at her house and she said that'd she'd just bring it over anyways. I knew that's be her response, but I had to try.
So I called the pet store owner. It's not a chain store, he only has a few rabbits, fish, hamsters etc and he's a fmaily friend so I thought he'd be understanding. Luckily, he is not going to give her the rabbit.
I called my mom back to let her know. She is so much more pissed off with me now that I supposedly embarassed her by calling. We are uninvited to Christmas this year.
The end. Merry Christmas:(
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I can't think of a title, but I'm pissed.**updated**
The irony of the whole thing is she never replaced her dogs either and doesn't want anymore pets.
That is ridiculous and I would be pissed too! That rabbit would definitely be living at her house if my mother did this.
I agree!
We had a pet rabbit when I was little and there is no way in hell I would ever get DD a rabbit, they are way to much to clean up after. Maybe you can sell it before the kids get to meet it? IDK I would be pissed too.
First off, WTF is she thinking?
Secondly, this:
And third, when my cousin was a kid she had a rabbit and that thing was vicious. It scratched the heck out of her everytime she touched it. They look all cute and cuddly, but then they come at you with their [insert John Cleese voice] "big pointy teeth". Sorry Grandma, you're a loony.
i agree whole heartedly. I'd be very upset and would also refuse the pet. once our kitty passes on in the years to come we won't have any more pets either.
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
I'm with you. No living gifts unless the parents have approved first. It's not like she's going to clean its cage and feed and water it.
Tell her flat out that if she still goes ahead with getting the rabbit, she can keep it at her house and it can be the kid's pet at grandmas. Otherwise, send it back!
DD is 12 y/o so I'm guessing the rabbit is more for her, but just included DS as a recipient. She thought DD would be able to take care of it all by herself. The fact is, DD should be the one to decide whether she wants to care for a pet. And right now, she has many activites that'd she'd rather be doing than devoting time to a pet. And let's face it, I've never met a pet that was 100% cared for by the kids.
Buying a pet unsolicited is not just poor manners toward humans, but poor treatment of the animals involved. Taking on a pet should be a willing and educated decision, ffs.
Argh. How are you going to stop this? If it shows up at your house, will you return it to the pet store? (And why is she getting animals from a pet store? grrrrrr) Can you contact the owner and voice your concerns? What a PITA....
good luck!!
i'd be banging on her door by now, rabbit in tow.
I love this.
I would be livid if someone did that. BIL once told me that he and SIL had almost adopted a kitten for us one year as a gift, and I practically went off on him. You do not get animals for other people, and you sure as hell don't do it without their (or their parent's) permission. I love animals, but I would never in my life think that gifting one is a good idea. Animals are not purses or toys, they're a freaking commitment, and one that should not be taken on lightly or as a whim.
Tell her she has two options: the rabbit stays at the pet store or the rabbit lives with her. It will not live in your house, you will not be responsible for its upkeep and care, you will not be responsible for the bills it incurs. For all intents and purposes, it will be her rabbit that the children are allowed to see and play with when they go to visit her.
Honestly, this is a situation where I wouldn't refrain from saying anything that came to mind - rude or otherwise. I would be giving her a hell of an earful, and hopefully it would hit hard enough to keep these "gift" ideas at bay in the future.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
Tehehehe. Tell her to keep the rabbit at her house. I think it is common courtesy to ask the person who will ultimately end up taking care of the pet (you) before buying the pet as a gift for sure. They can still have a rabbit... at grandma's house, lol.
I got DH a cat as a "gift" to him a couple years ago (but not really). He was pissed, lmao. But I take care of him so... that's different. And DH loves him now.
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
Thanks for all of your responses. I posted an update in the OP. I agree with everyone that it wouldn't be fair to us or the animal. This whole thing was just stupid.
Christmas isn't about the gifts. I don't care how much or how little anyone buys their children, but it's ridiculous when it starts to cause drama.
Well, that's unfortunate. She's being a bit crazy, no? Basically trying to force you to take a rabbit that you don't want.
Maybe she'll come around before Christmas? That is 2 weeks from now. Sorry she acted like that, but I think I'd rather have my mom upset with me than to have a rabbit in my house!
SM, i am so sorry. i cannot believe you were uninvited! maybe she'll cool down and come to her senses.
merry christmas.
I'm sorry your Mom is being so unreasonable.
That is the worst idea ever, and maybe after she cools down a bit she will realize it.
I can't believe she uninvited you either!
OMG! I would be so upset! I can't believe that she uninvited you to Christmas.
And who buys someone a pet without asking first? That is just all kinds of crazy.
I'm so sorry. I hope you get things sorted out for Christmas, or that if you dont, you are still able to enjoy your Christmas with your husband and kids.
I just read your post for the first time and I had to laugh b/c I can SOOOOOOO see my family doing the same exact thing. Last year they actually had the immediate family Xmas w/o me, DH and DS (his 1st Xmas) b/c I stayed at my aunt's house instead of their's that was around the corner.
Not trying to make it about me but she'll get over it. If she wants to have Xmas w/o her grandkids go ahead, but I bet you $ she won't. My parents act the same childish way and I just quit caring and getting pissed when they have such childish behaviors. Sigh...don't you just love the holidays?
Family makes it so wonderful.
read your update - good for you. Now she KNOWS that you mean what you say.
Do you think this will blow over and you'll be "re-invited" once she's over her temper tantrum?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm sorry, that sucks. You have every right to be pissed and your mother is being completely unreasonable.
I do like EmilieMadison's idea of telling your mother that you got her a pony though, haha.
Sorry sage. Your mom is in the wrong and uninviting you is a low blow.