Just fyi, I am "selfish and cold-hearted"

rezelle · December 2010

Original post is here. I asked about an elective induction.

So after receiving advice from the Feb moms (particularly the bit about me not being a popcorn bag) I explain to my parents and IL's that they should schedule to come see me two weeks after my due date. LO will definitely be here by then. Actually this is the perfect solution because DH found out his job will allow him up to two weeks off for daddy leave, so they would be here at the best time possible. My parents took this suggestion quite well, and they have already begun looking for plane tickets.

MIL was pissed. She told DH (not me, of course) that I was being selfish for not wanting an induction because they wanted to be there during the birth of their first grandchild, why couldn't I understand, blah blah blah... After I found out she said this, I called her and told her that it was my decision, and I wasn't comfortable jerking my son out of the oven when he's not done cooking yet (my poor attempt at trying to make her laugh) and she said she couldn't believe how cold-hearted I was being toward them, after all they'd done for me...

This is the same woman who said that I was right to have been fired because I didn't tell my boss during the interview that I was pregnant.

I want to scream right now, really.

locash · December 2010

Did your H stand up for you and your decision? What a moron. I would tell her she's not welcome at all if she feels that way. No way no how would that fly in my house.

rezelle · December 2010

alopdx:
Your MIL is insane. Who in their right mind would ask someone to schedule an induction based on their schedule? She should focus more on what is best for her grandchild, instead of her own selfish desires. Did she even ask if you want her there when your LO is born?
I want to smack your MIL.

That's a negative. I never protested it because I knew how she was, but even when I try to keep the peace I don't win.

OliveBaby · December 2010

jmm881:
Quite honestly, I'd tell my MIL to not come if that is how she was going to be!!

This. But I'd probably add a few choice expletives.

dee1369 · December 2010

I'd tell her if she felt that way then not to come at all. My God, that's ridiculous! A baby isn't a new puppy that you can plan to get at the time most convenient for you and everyone else!

Born2Fly · December 2010

Excuse me? After all they've done for you? WTH?! Please tell us what they have done for you that you should have your baby induced so you can have LO at their convenience?

rebekahsm66 · December 2010

jmm881:
Quite honestly, I'd tell my MIL to not come if that is how she was going to be!!

This! Who in there right mind....?!?!?!?

rezelle · December 2010

Born2Fly:
Excuse me? After all they've done for you? WTH?! Please tell us what they have done for you that you should have your baby induced so you can have LO at their convenience?

Basically the most prominent thing I can think of that she would be referring to is right before we moved here, I had to move all of my stuff from my old house to their house, where DH's things were, because the military moved our stuff and required everything to be at the same location for them to pick it up. They didn't help with the move, but they let me keep my things there for a week and were supposed to be there when the movers came to make sure everything was packed up.

I say supposed because they conveniently forgot which day the movers were coming, and DH's thirteen-year-old sister had to tell them what to pack when she got home from school.

Born2Fly · December 2010

rezelle:

Born2Fly:
Excuse me? After all they've done for you? WTH?! Please tell us what they have done for you that you should have your baby induced so you can have LO at their convenience?

Basically the most prominent thing I can think of that she would be referring to is right before we moved here, I had to move all of my stuff from my old house to their house, where DH's things were, because the military moved our stuff and required everything to be at the same location for them to pick it up. They didn't help with the move, but they let me keep my things there for a week and were supposed to be there when the movers came to make sure everything was packed up.

I say supposed because they conveniently forgot which day the movers were coming, and DH's thirteen-year-old sister had to tell them what to pack when she got home from school.

...just what I thought. NOTHING! Girl you missed the opportunity of a lifetime. The opportunity you get to shake the sh!t out of someone with your words so they never try/say stupid stuff to you again. That was your chance. You don't have to curse someone out but you can give someone a piece of your mind so they come correct from then on.

rezelle · December 2010

Born2Fly:
rezelle:

Born2Fly:
Excuse me? After all they've done for you? WTH?! Please tell us what they have done for you that you should have your baby induced so you can have LO at their convenience?

Basically the most prominent thing I can think of that she would be referring to is right before we moved here, I had to move all of my stuff from my old house to their house, where DH's things were, because the military moved our stuff and required everything to be at the same location for them to pick it up. They didn't help with the move, but they let me keep my things there for a week and were supposed to be there when the movers came to make sure everything was packed up.

I say supposed because they conveniently forgot which day the movers were coming, and DH's thirteen-year-old sister had to tell them what to pack when she got home from school.

...just what I thought. NOTHING! Girl you missed the opportunity of a lifetime. The opportunity you get to shake the sh!t out of someone with your words so they never try/say stupid stuff to you again. That was your chance. You don't have to curse someone out but you can give someone a piece of your mind so they come correct from then on.

I have no idea what I would've said. I think I just said something along the lines of "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is my decision" and handed the phone to DH before I went in to our room and screamed into a pillow.

GoMommy · December 2010

You are NOT being being the selfish one! She is... oh this makes me mad for you! I really think she is being so out of line here. Don't let her get to you. You are thinking about the well being of your son.. not trying to work around the grandma's life...

I am so sorry she said those things to you and your DH.. Keep your ground.. or hel! tell them if they think you are so cold hearted that you don't want them to come at all..

(sorry I have an awful MIL also.. so stories like this get under my skin... I am sorry if this sounds harsh)

ABizzity · December 2010

Oh hells no! I would have ripped her a new one and told her not to bother coming.

flyingsaucer · December 2010

Tell your H that he should NOT tell you things like this when your MIL is being an ass. He should handle her so you don't have to

Danalyn13 · December 2010

Absolutely unbelievable. Someone needs to smack your MIL!

JessiRaye · December 2010

What a beyotch! I guess people really don't get that having an induction isn't always the best thing for baby! Unless you have a medical reason to do so, I think you are best to wait and she can just SIT AND SPIN!

I'm sorry she is being a PITA. Try not to stress too much. Good luck!

Quesera · December 2010

My relationship with this woman would be o-v-e-r. There is keeping the peace out of respect for DH and family and then there is just taking too much shitt from one person. Obviously you aren't going to allow her to pressure you into an induction (thank god even though I can't believe you even considered that) but now is the time to put your foot down so she knows she can't bully you in the future. And ditto the poster who said your DH needs to deal with her so you don't have to .

MoxieMummy · December 2010

Hmm... yeah.

In my response on the Feb board, I mentioned that this was a 'red flag' for how they might act... that the unreasonable behavior might not end with the demand of a scheduled induction.

It sounds like DH needs a come to Jesus talk with his momma and tell her that she needs to respect ALL decisions you two make for YOUR baby, starting with this one.

ErinNR · December 2010

Your MIL and my FIL should meet. When I told him I couldn't give an exact date the baby was coming, he tried to tell me he was coming 2 weeks prior to my due date and staying 3 weeks after in case she is early or late. And he expected to stay at our house and me quit working when he got here so I could take care of him.

navyandviolet · December 2010

I think I would modify my offer a bit and tell her she can plan her trip for 2 months after baby arives. If she is like this you wont want her around you and your new baby so soon, hormones and all. She will also probably throw a fit about sharing with your family, so let her know now her behavior is unacceptable and you gave her a new date where everyone will be more comfortable. Sorry she is such a pain.