so upset today

I actually had to put the fussy baby in the swing.  Luckily, he fell right to sleep.  I sought out a therapist for PPD but unfortunately after my first apptmt she had a family emergency and had to leave the country.  My husband was supposed to take the whole month of December off.  I was SO upset near  Thanksgiving, but I kept thinking things would be better once he was off, so we could "catch up".  Our house is a total sty, and DH will say he is going to do chores and not do them.  Yes, he does some chores, but he is not reliable at all.  I have talked to him many times about how sad/anxious I am and how every room being cluttered adds to it...anywho, he decided he needed to go to work today.  I got home @ 1, and his mom stayed until 3 to help me clean, but I am still just feeling SO overwhelmed.  I just thank God that LO went to sleep, bc I felt so horrible not giving him better attention when he started fussing while I was on the phone with DH telling him to come home.  He knows how upset I've been, and he just kept saying he'd be home "later"...I finally had to pin him down and say he'd leave in 30 minutes, but I think it has been that long and no word.

Sorry to ramble, I'm just so upset and things aren't getting better.  I was crying myself to sleep last night, and I feel like DH is ignoring my cries for help, and I sometimes think about leaving him, but I think it is just PPD talking.