Major work FAIL! (long)

LaraGaudess · December 2010

Today was supposed to be my first day back. As soon as I got to the school, I started bawling. I hid in my classroom for a while, thinking that if I just cried it out there, I would be fine. I was wrong. I thought I was ok to leave the room and get a coffee, when a passing colleague asked how I was. I proceeded to burst into tears, and was unable to stop. My AP ended up sending me home because I was a basket case. I have a note from my doctor to take the next week off.

I feel like I am under major pressure because I am a music teacher with a student teacher, I have a concert coming up, and I feel that I have not been getting the sensitivity that would be warranted at a time like this. I think what really put me over the edge was finding out a colleague is pregnant on a weekly memo, and then being asked to participate in this school wide cookie drive with a theme of 'guess when so and so's baby is due'. I just couldn't understand why they asked me to do that! Am I crazy, or does that seem really insensitive? I know that life goes on and other will get pregnant (and hopefully I'll be back in that club soon too). I am also happy for my colleague, but those e-mails are just a constant reminder of what I have lost. This isn't like losing your iPhone or having your car stolen. This is a lifetime lost forever.

My miscarriage was a week and a half ago and I still feel like total ***, and apparently can't function at work as my experience today proved. I don't want people to think I am a slacker, or taking advantage . How long did you ladies take off work, or when did you feel emotionally ready to go back to work?

I seriously feel like I'm going a bit mental, so any advice/insight would be greatly appreciated.

I hope everyone else is having a better day

mdhealy676 · December 2010

I'm sorry for your loss and that you're having such a rough time at work. It is insensitive that people would expect you to jump on board with activities surrounding someone else's pregnancy. I'm guessing they weren't even thinking about it when they sent the memo because they (hopefully) have never been in a situation like yours. We're all really sensitive to things like this but for the most part people aren't trying to be mean. They just don't understand. You're not going mental, you're grieving and those can often feel like one and the same. I don't have to be around kids all day long so going back to work was a little easier for me. It sounds like you may need a little extra time to adjust. You're doing the best you can and that's really all anyone should ask. ((hugs))

fireflies0306 · December 2010

I am so sorry your first day back was so rough. I am a teacher too, and today was my first day back after 2 1/2 weeks, and the only reason i came back soon was b/c of how supportive my co-workers were. my supervisor is a prick, but hey, they exist. and i also have a co worker who is due a few weeks after my EDD, and for the first time i saw her just meandering the hallways today--normally i see her once in a while. i'm not expecting her to hide from me, but really? i am so so sorry, and remember to take the time that you need, and don't worry about work. it is not important, not in the whole scheme of things! {{{hugs}}}

LaraGaudess · December 2010

Thanks for the kind words ladies. My colleagues are supportive for the most part, and I'm sure they didn't intend to make me feel worse, but you're right; I am way hypersensitive right now. The admin... well, I think it remains to be seen how supportive they are. Lets just say I haven't been feeling the love as of late.

I hope I feel better soon.... Depression sucks!

fireflies0306 · December 2010

i'm with you totally! i met with my assistant superintendent today--about how secure i was feeling b/c my supervisor is a prick (didn't use those words to her of course!)...bascially i was told that i need to fix what is wrong in our "relationship" because he isn't going anywhere, and that i need to really think about what issues he is having with me and work on them (i do, and then he accuses me of not being genuine, and putting on a show!). so my second day back was actually quite rough--starting with seeing a pregnant co-worker who is due a few weeks after me during sign in--i lost it in the office, then missed homeroom because I was crying so hard. i've been crying every 40 minutes--again, my co workers have been awesome. but to quote you, i'm not feeling the love from admin. i wish i could just stay home...my dr will give me a note, but i don't have enough sick time. if i was still with my first district i started with 8 years ago i would have plenty of time! sorry...i do hope you feel better, but know that i am here if you want to PM me, b/c i completely understand!!!!!

Want a personalized experience?

Major work FAIL! (long)

Re: Major work FAIL! (long)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards