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How to "Discipline" a 20 month old?

omalleyomalley
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I am pretty sure my boys are still at the age that redirection is the best practice for "discipline."  But does anyone have a book or website recommendation for toddlers and what we are supposed to do next or if we should be doing something else now??

i.e. James always tries to climb up on to the coffee table.  We have been telling him no and redirecting him to a toy/book.  It has become constant so we thought that maybe we should ignore him b/c maybe he is just enjoying the extra attention.  Well he showed us b/c he went from trying to climb up, to standing and dancing on the table while we were "ignoring" him.  When I looked at him he just devilishly laughed at me.  Needless to say we are back to saying no and/or removing him when he attempts it.  

I feel like I have no clue what to do so if anyone can recommend a resource or tell me what you do I would really appreciate it!

p.s. Jenjag - I read your posts and I feel like we are on the same page!

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Re: How to "Discipline" a 20 month old?

  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member
    You need to find something constructive for him to do - so make sure he's busy w/ something as much as possible and/or give him a place he can climb.  I let DD "jump" off the sofa to me on the floor w/ cushions.  She loves it and it seems to eliminate some of the need to find something "bad" to do.  I know alot of people recommend 123 Magic, but I haven't read it yet. 
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  • monkeyqueenmonkeyqueen

    lol!  I took our coffee table out of the living room and put it where the kids can't see it:)

    I'm firm with the kids - I say 'no' and redirect them.   Natalie is easy, Olivia wasn't/isn't.     It's a struggle.  I've even resorted to spanking (which did absolutely nothing, btw).   But, the most important thing is consistency.   So, consistently redirect.    At 20 months, they are almost at the age where time-outs might be effective (when done correctly).    But, really, removing them from what they are trying to do is about all that will be absorbed by them.  Punishments probably won't have any long term/lasting effect.

    GL!

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  • wellfleet04wellfleet04 member
    Love and Logic Early Years is my favorite book and discipline strategy.
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  • sarahns80sarahns80 member
    I'm curious to hear the resposes b/c I tried to do a time-out the other day and let's just say she did not get it and it was worthless.
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  • omalleyomalley

    imagewellfleet04:
    Love and Logic Early Years is my favorite book and discipline strategy.

    I just read the description and reviews on Amazon and this looks very interesting.  I added it to my cart - thank you!!!

    Monkeyqueen - we already removed the end tables b/c they thought the lamps were toys!  ;-)

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  • monkeyqueenmonkeyqueen

    imagesarahns80:
    I'm curious to hear the resposes b/c I tried to do a time-out the other day and let's just say she did not get it and it was worthless.

    Your LO may not be ready for that kind of 'break.'    But.... just so you know, when we started time outs with Olivia (she was about 2 and half) she thought it was the best game of chase she ever had - we put her in time out and then she'd run and we'd get her and put her back....It was really frustrating in the beginning, but I'm glad we stuck with it.    It took about a week before time out wasn't fun anymore and it started to give the effect we were looking for - a place for her to regroup, calm down, and learn to adjust her behavior.

    Discipline is all about consistency:)

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  • monkeyqueenmonkeyqueen
    imageomalley:

    imagewellfleet04:
    Love and Logic Early Years is my favorite book and discipline strategy.

    I just read the description and reviews on Amazon and this looks very interesting.  I added it to my cart - thank you!!!

    Monkeyqueen - we already removed the end tables b/c they thought the lamps were toys!  ;-)

    nice!    You know, sometimes I think it would be easier if we didn't have furniture until they turn 2 - 2 and a half! lol!

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  • FaithinloveFaithinlove
    Redirecting never worked with our DS. So I talked to a mommy friend I trusted and she suggested timeouts. I originally thought he was too young for a timeout, but they worked wonders.  DS started climbing up on his train table and tries standing on the couch we scares the crap out of me.  Now know that DS doesn't actually sit in timeout.  We have a chair that we intend on using in the living room for timeouts and that is where I hold him facing out for his "timeout." It is only a minute and he is told he is being given a timeout and why because we feel this is important.  They say one minute for each year of age. I haven't switched over to two minutes as of yet.  I had to do it a few times at the beginning and I started right around the time of your sons age maybe alittle sooner. Now, for the most part, all I have to do is ask "do you want a timeout" he says no and stops what he is doing.  It worked for us.
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