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ambs21 · December 2010

Hello ladies. I, of course, am so sad to be introducing myself here. I had a d&c last Thursday morning after a missed miscarriage of my twins. I am thankful to have a precious 18 mo. old DD, but I am devastated by the loss of her little siblings. They stopped growing at around 7.5 weeks, and we discovered they were gone at 10 weeks. How can I miss them so much when I never even saw their faces? 2 sweet babies that I held in my body and will never hold in my arms.

ambs21 · December 2010

Also, it seems that to most people this is a non-event. Many friends say, "at least it was early". Well, maybe, but they were still my babies. I saw them. I saw and heard their little hearts beating, and then I saw them still. Doesn't matter that it was early; they were very real and very alive. The most hurtful thing by far; however, came from my mother-in-law. I called to tell her the worst news I've ever received, and she said, "Both of them?" Yes. "Well, what happened? Did you over do it?" Wow. No. I know it wasn't my fault, but, of course, there are those questions and doubts which were just given credence by this reaction. So crushing.

julieb1218 · December 2010

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. You are right we all wanted our babies and how early our loss was shouldn't matter. I am also sorry about what your MIL said. Obviously we all know these things happen and they are out of our control. Big big hugs to you.

BlondeBride82 · December 2010

i just wanted to say im so sorry for ur lass and i wanted to let u know ur not alone Big Hugs!!

tew213 · December 2010

I am so sorry for your losses. I agree that many people find it as a non event or at least like you should be over it in a few days. I have found that no one knows what to say. And when they try its just wrong.

I have an underactive thyroid. If untreated it can cause m/c - however I have been on meds treating it for 2 years. Anyways, when we told my IL's about the m/c, my MIL is convinced its my thyroid. I explained to her that I had my levels checked and they were fine (and still are now after the m/c). But she keeps bringing it up. To me, I feel like shes saying I did something wrong by not keeping on top of it or whatever. And shes also convinced its going to be a problem in a future pregnancy. She thinks shes helping but its driving me crazy!

Sorry for the little rant, but I totally understand where you are coming from. You know you did nothinig to cause it. I hope you can find support IRL but also on this board. T & P are with you!

Runnergirl2242 · December 2010

I am so very sorry for your losses. I think that others can be very insensitive. You can be safe here from stupid comments. You can miss someone you have never seen because they are and always will be a part of you. I am so so sorry. HUG.

haziedaze · December 2010

I'm so sorry for your losses. Please don't take to heart those hurtful words. Of course you didn't cause this! You did everything you could to take care of your body and your pregnancy. I hope you find some other people IRL who can be supportive. I hope you find this board to be helpful, I know I did. ((HUGS))

ambs21 · December 2010

Thank you all for the support.

shanna82 · December 2010

I am so sorry for the loss of your babies and for the insensitivity that your MIL showed you.

My nail lady of all people said something very similar to me when I told her I lost my baby. I don't think people mean to be so horrible---they just don't understand.

mdhealy676 · December 2010

So sorry for your losses and that you have to deal with insensitive family at the same time. It's easier to dismiss the stupid remarks from strangers but we always hope for better from family. ((hugs))

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