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3rd Trimester
Am I the only one?
I lurk here a lot...and post a little. But, I was just wondering if I am the only one who sometimes feels like I am in the dark about a lot of things that other women clearly learn from their OBGYN...for instance, I never charted and both pregnancies have been a complete surprise, I have no idea what my beta #'s were/are, my doctor has never told me the exact heart rate of the baby, I have no idea if I had my membranes stripped with my DD, I did not take a birthing class (but had a natural birth), BFing class, or infant care class. My doctor never gave me a list of foods to avoid.
Just wondering...sometimes I think it is better to be clueless, not so much to worry about.
Flame if you must.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Am I the only one?
Alot of women on the Bump were actively trying to concieve or struggled with some degree of infertility and educated themselves on the process. Information is more readily available to the average person so it's easier to research on your own if you choose to do so.
I for one am glad that I charted as I feel I have a more realistic idea of when my baby is actually due and I feel like I'm able to better understand my OB and ask questions to ease my fears.
My knowledge on the subject relieves more stress than it creates.
No, some of those things you mentioned my doc does not come out and tell me. I wouldn't know what his heartrate was unless I ask and my office doesn't even check betas until you have had a m/c and there is a need to.
I never took classes or anything... If I wanted to I know to ask them for the information. But this is my third time around and the only thing I may do is the sibling tour because my older two are 7 and 4 so they would think that is neat.
If you want to know more, I guess you could be a little more assertive and ask what you want to know. It isn't like they won't tell you... its you information.
Ditto exactly.
No flames here. I totally agree with you. The doctors in my practice don't exactly volunteer too much info. My appt today was a head spinning 3 minutes long. They all ask if I have any questions, but I rarely do, as I rarely have any issues.
Sometimes ignorance IS bliss. I think it's a "to each her own" kind of thing. Some people would rather be prepared for everything, and some would rather go in kind of blind. Me - I plan on getting an epidural, and not really looking or trying to feel any of that stuff that's going on down there during delivery. If I don't have to know about it, I don't want to!
To each his own. Everyone prepares differently and deals differently with information (some stress the more they know, others stress if they don't know). I think there IS a thing as too ignorant and not taking enough of an active role in your own health. You say your doctor never told you those things, but you also didn't ask. Some are no big deal, others are good to know and others, IMO, are must know.
For instance, I would definitely want to know if my membranes were stripped. The thought of someone tinkering around down there without me knowing what they were doing totally skeeves me out.
This is me.
I don't know if you've had any kids before. I'm not trying to lecture, but most people don't just walk in and get epi's. You usually have to wait until you reach 3-4 cm dilated. Just something to think about if you want to research other pain relief methods before you get your epi.
agreed.
I think it all depends on the doctor, and the patient (and how many questions they ask). I switched OBs at 28 weeks because we moved and when I did, my old OB sent my records along with me. I, being nosy, read through all of them and learned all sorts of stuff he never told me... I have an anterior placenta, when they did my anatomy scan, they weren't able to get one of the angles on the spine that they usually check, etc. When I got to my new OB, I mentioned these things and they ordered another U/S. Makes me wonder why the other OB never mentioned it/cared, yet this new one not only mentioned it, but did something about it. I never received a list of food to avoid, or safe drugs to take, or what happens at each appointment, from either OB office.
I am trying to be relaxed about this whole process instead of worrying about every little thing and driving myself neurotic.
I'm sure this isn't what you meant but being educated does not = being neurotic.
Being educated about pregnancy, conception, childbirth, etc. is something that is very important to me. My OB has been forthcoming as well. But I am the type that researches every little thing, and I like to be an informed consumer.
It kind of weirds me out when people are super passive about major life events actually.
I fall somewhere in the middle. I did chart with my first because I wanted to get pregnant quickly and I think it was nice to know exactly when I was due. Most women don't know betas unless they have a history of m/c or infertility. I only know my baby's heartrate since the dr always faces the doppler towards me so I can hear baby and I can see the number for myself. I did wing some stuff, like the birthing/BF/infant care class. I figured I would figure out some things in my own time, plus I wasn't too gung ho about natural childbirth so birthing classes weren't for me especially since I felt I educated myself pretty well through my own research.
I think knowing some things have made me more anxiety ridden (like knowing how common miscarriages are), but being more knowledgable has definitely been helpful for the most part. I tend to research any big decisions I make in life pretty intensively. I couldn't just go through life blissfully ignorant. It would drive me insane.
I was just talking to DH about this last night. My OB does not give up much information at all. I had an internal yesterday and he never mentioned anything about cramping, spotting, afterward. I had some cramping and spotting and only knew it was okay b/c of posts I have read here. He also still has not discussed what to expect/do if I go into labor (and I'm 3 days away from EDD). I brought it up yesterday and he said "If your sure you're in labor go to the hospital" Well...considering I have never been in labor before, I might not be so sure. I try to ask questions but he is in and out of the room in less then 4 mins.
Most of the knowledge about pregnancy that I have gathered has not come from my OB.
TTC #2 since 8/2012
Me:28 H:34
Me: all tests normal!
H: Azoospermia (Sperm count zero).
MFI Urologist all test normal.
Biopsy Feb. 14
****EVERYONE WELCOME****
My ob recommended not charting or using ovulation kits because it makes couples anxious. I knew that I was going to be anxious anyway, so I ignored this advice. But if you are having sex very regularly or are comfortable waiting until conception happens, there is no reason to worry about charting. Similarly, your doctor should have told you if there were any issues with your betas or the baby's heartbeat.
My childbirth class was useless (but my dh wanted to go, and he doesn't ask for much so we went, and he seemed to think it was at least marginally useful).
The one thing I would want to encourage you to research is birthing positions. During labor, one of the least effective positions you can be in is lying flat on your back in bed. You are more likely to deliver your baby vaginally if you can get into a position in which gravity assists the baby coming down. I'd recommend researching and practicing these positions, which are located at https://pregnancy.about.com/od/laborbasics/ss/laborpositions.htm. Aside from that, if you are calm and happy and everything has been going well in your pregnancy, you are in great shape!
Best of luck to you.
You're right, that's not what I meant. If I wanted to be uneducated, I wouldn't have read my chart and/or asked questions about it.