Switched to formula after a month and feeling guilty

Kamlights · December 2010

My baby would not latch on so I was pumping as much as I could which ended up being only three times a day. I tried over and over with my DD to get her to breastfeed but she would just end up screaming from frustration and I would be crying. My DH works 15 hour days so I am home alone practically all the time. Eventually I dried up. I am feeling like a bad mom but for the sanity of both of us, it was the only way. now, there is very little crying and I gained some time to shower, if lucky, every other day.

Can anyone else relate to this? Is formula that much worse?

jkelly41 · December 2010

Please do NOT beat yourself up over this! I know it's disappointing but I firmly believe you have to do what's best for you and the child. If it saves your sanity, it's well worth it.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

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drewiekc · December 2010

Dont feel bad! There is NOTHING wrong with formula, and if feeding your LO formula means that you actually get to enjoy her instead of stressing about feeding her, then it's a wonderful option.

lphutch · December 2010

Em & I didn't have any problems BF (except the usual engorgement the second week followed by mastitis in both breasts the following week). I received a hand pump and tried to store some of my milk. It worked alright, but there is no way in hell I was going to have enough stored up to keep Em on breast milk while I finish school in the Spring. I felt terrible supplementing in the beginning. My DH kept telling me not to feel bad, I wasn't cheating, I was still a good mom, etc. I still felt bad. Now we're in week 8. I BF Emma only once during the day and twice at night. I hope to continue BF at night, but I don't feel bad anymore about the formula she gets during the day. She sleeps better at night and she continues to grow. You shouldn't feel bad about your decision. Be proud you stuck it out for four weeks! It is better to have both a happy baby and a happy mommy. I'm sure your DD will thrive.

czaja125 · December 2010

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!

What's important is that your baby is getting fed. If formula was so bad then they wouldn't have it on the shelves for us to buy.

You are not a bad mother and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Hang in there!

mplsbride31 · December 2010

I would say don't feel guilty, but I know I did with my first for a long time. I lasted 6 weeks with her, and I was pumping every 3 hours around the clock to try to get my supply up and it was just too much for me. So I gave myself the big guilt trip for a long time.

With DS, I have no problems whatsoever that it didn't work out. I told myself I'd try BF'ing him, if it didn't work, no big deal. DD was mostly a formula baby and she is thriving. She did great on it. So I lasted for 2 weeks with this one and said screw it.

Don't beat yourself up. I know it's hard and you feel like you should be but they do just fine on formula.

redjetta22 · December 2010

drewiekc:
Dont feel bad! There is NOTHING wrong with formula, and if feeding your LO formula means that you actually get to enjoy her instead of stressing about feeding her, then it's a wonderful option.

This! I'm ff now too. I have a much happier baby and he has a much happier mommy!

janneann1127 · December 2010

don't feel bad.. i had the same issues, and i quit after 3 days. it was just too much stress, i wasn't sleeping, and i was crying all the time. now that we're doing formula, i am much less stressed and therefore, my baby is happier. i know tons of people who were formula-fed (including myself) and we all turned out fine. life's too short to feel guilty!

tabaskoa · December 2010

Don't feel guilty! It happens to more women that you think.

I'm going through the same thing pretty much. I BF exclusively for almost 1 month - even though I cried at every feeding (pain throughout) and my boobs ached between feedings. I went to a LC twice, she said I was doing everything right and that either I could just tough it out until hopefully his latch would fix and the pain would stop, or I could pump and bottle feed and give myself a break. I've been pumping and supplementing with formula when needed, but my little guy is 6 weeks today and the pumping around the clock is exhausting (not to mention I can't keep up with his demand). Most likely after our pedi appt tomorrow I'm going to start reducing the number of times I pump until he is only on formula. Not how I wanted this all to go down, but at least both myself and the baby will be happy!!!

believe_red_sox · December 2010

You lasted waaay longer than I did!! I was having the same problem with DD, she just wouldn't latch on and would scream from frustration. I was pumping as much as I could.. but couldn't keep up. I lasted only 8 days and had to switch to formula. I felt the same way your are feeling, I wanted BFing to work so badly. But it is alot more stress free around here these days!! And DD hasn't show any signs that the formula is bothering her.

amalloy1 · December 2010

Try not to feel guilty. I was raised in the 70s & me, my sister, & our 25+ cousins were all bottle fed & we turned out pretty good. Seriously, we're ALL totally healthy & our age range is 27-48. (our parents were immigrants & they thought bottle feeding was the in thing to do....).

I had a hard time in the beginning but I'm enjoying breast feeding now because I'm home all the time. I go back to work in 1 week though & I know I'm not going to be able to pump at work & my commute is 1hr each way so I will be supplementing more & more. I feel a little bad about that, but the main thing is that your LO is eating & gaining weight. Formula is not the devil, despite what some of those judgemental EBFs say!

seahorse102410 · December 2010

The exact same thing happened to me so I totally know how you feel. But honestly I am really glad to have a life now. I could not deal with the screaming when I was trying to feed him so I pumped. After about 4 weeks I just dried up. Do not feel guilty I really don't anymore. The pediatrician said she did not care if I breast fed him 2 days or 2 weeks as long as I fed him.

Kamlights · December 2010

Its great to know I am not alone. I must say that my LO seems to be happier and less fussy all together since our transition...thanks for your reply/

veronicacorningstone · December 2010

Don't feel guilty, says the pot to the kettle.

I started supplementing a couple of weeks after the boys were born because they were not gaining enough weight. My right breast was not producing enough milk. The supply sucked. Then I got a majorly clogged duct in my left breast, mastitis and then an abscess, which had to be cut out. (Hurt like HELL) I'm still healing. So we are exclusively formula feeding now.

Every now and then I will feel really guilty, but like a pp said, I was formula fed too, as was my Stanford educated sister.

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