I don't "fit" anywhere anymore

loveypants · December 2010

I feel like I don't quite fit in here anymore. I have been trying for almost a year, on my 10 cycle. I have had 1 c/p. I also don't feel like I would fit on 3T. Does anyone else feel this way?

Sometimes I wish there was an "inbetween" board.

Kathy4678 · December 2010

Yep- I've only been trying since March of 2010, but I know that I have to have IVF so it's an odd dynamic.

I agree- I feel very "in between"

faydre · December 2010

I feel exactly the same! I feel like once you get past like 6 months of TTC or so.. you are sooo changed. TTC board doesn't feel right anymore. After only 8 months -- i know i wouldn't fit in on 3T.

I feel like i'm just floating around.

I wish there was a place to talk seriously about TTC after the noob phase wears off... a place with girls at the same stage, goign through the same emotions, etc...

tori2008 · December 2010

loveypants:
I feel like I don't quite fit in here anymore. I have been trying for almost a year, on my 10 cycle. I have had 1 c/p. I also don't feel like I would fit on 3T. Does anyone else feel this way?
Sometimes I wish there was an "inbetween" board.

We have been trying since about Jan 2010 so almost as long as you. I feel your pain, this waiting and trying is tough. Everyone says just quit trying and it will happen but for a lot of us that is way easier said than done. I can't have sex without thinking I wonder if this time will be it. And it never it I will be h&P for you Lovey!

JSRICH · December 2010

I kind of agree too. Im on my 9th cycle. I know I dont fit into "T-TTC".

Maybe they could make a board for long term TTC's.

Although I would hate to go there too Sad

Temp878586125009588 · December 2010

I do lovey. It's hasn't been a year for me yet, but it's been 6 months. Too early for 3T but yet, sometimes the way this board has changed, I don't feel like I fit here either.

nebrtwin · December 2010

Lovey, I have a great respect and admiration for you. I can't understand yet the feeling of "being in between", but I can say that I appreciate having you on this board. You are a wealth of knowledge, and just plain fun! Please stay!

ProcrastinatingBride · December 2010

Sometimes I feel this way too. I'm not sure whether I "qualify" for TTTC, but I feel a little over-seasoned to be around here sometimes.

I know I speak for lots of women when I say, we still want you around these parts, heartpants.

busybeegirl1976 · December 2010

I totally agree Lovey. Since my last c/p I really feel like I'm in TTC limbo - the floating aimlessly kind, not roller rink kind.

I need an Almost 35 Working Mom with School-Aged Children and Babies on the Brain, Not Not Trying for a Sibling After a Loss starting to get Snarky board. Where's that??

JSRICH · December 2010

ProcrastinatingBride:

Sometimes I feel this way too. I'm not sure whether I "qualify" for TTTC, but I feel a little over-seasoned to be around here sometimes.

I know I speak for lots of women when I say, we still want you around these parts, heartpants.

Yes

repen · December 2010

We've been trying since Aug 09. The first year I didn't chart or anything. In some ways I feel like a newb, others, not so much.

XXXXX222 · December 2010

You fit in with your friends that love you even if we're all at different stages. FWIW, 3T was originally intended as an in-between place and it seems there's a few girls over there who haven't done treatments. Maybe if there are a few of you here that feel the same way you can test the waters over there together. (Not saying you need to move on from TTGP, but you might feel comfy over there.) *hugs*

HoneyBee111409 · December 2010

Yep. I feel exactly this way. I don't really fit here because it's been over a year and I also had a c/p (although I never had it confirmed by a dr. so I'm still pretty much terrified that I can't even get pregnant.)

And we're still in the beginning stages of testing - nothing like what the girls over on 3T are going through.

So yeah.. i feel ya.

BonitaKaz · December 2010

I agree.

I've been trying for almost a year. I went a couple of months with out charting, but in the past 8 months I have only ovulated once.

I agree, a TTGP 6+ or something like that would be a good board to have, only because a lot of us (myself included) have grown so much since we just started the board.

SaucyRedhead · December 2010

I'm on cycle 11, but I still feel like I fit here. There are still lots of ladies around here who have been trying for 6+ months who I can talk to about the struggles of being "in-betweeners".

I also generally avoid posts by newbs (sorry newbs) because they do sometimes make me feel like the odd ball out.

GrneyedItalian · December 2010

loveypants:
I feel like I don't quite fit in here anymore. I have been trying for almost a year, on my 10 cycle. I have had 1 c/p. I also don't feel like I would fit on 3T. Does anyone else feel this way?

Sometimes I wish there was an "inbetween" board.

I'm sorry! I've only just begun so I can't say that I know how you feel. But you belong here! I hope you get BFP very soon.

WifeofMrA · December 2010

I couldn't agree more.

I find myself not posting a ton lately...we're at cycle 13 of TTC and I feel out of place...

I wish there was more of an inbetween board..where you're not necessarily dealing with huge infertility issues but it's just taking you a bit longer!

purple4u · December 2010

I am in the same boat....finished my last BC pack in dec 2009, and started charting in March 2010, I feel like I don't belong here, have seen so many people come and go. This year has been tough, esp with so many people IRL getting pregnant as well. I always thought I would have been part of them and almost all of their babies have arrived.....

branmuffin2112 · December 2010

awww lovey I'm sorry sweet girl. I can tell you one thing though, I would be so sad to see you go Crying to 3T. I pray you get your sticky BFP super soon. You're an incredible bumpie and I have so much love and respect for you.

{{{bigfathug}}}

txhillcountrybaby · December 2010

Lovey I feel you. We tried for a year before I started charting and found out we sucked at timing. Now knowing our timing can work from the m/c it is hard to figure out were I belong.

I came back here to were I know several peeps and have support. I know other boards are more "geared" to those that have had a lost or been trying for over a year, I am not there yet.

I agree it would be nice for a board that was for "I do chart and know how to read my chart, I have my pom, green tea, pre-seed, and ED during my window but my UTE still does not work" Board. what an acronym that would be!

StephK · December 2010

Aww, lovey. I just wish I could give you a big hug. You're always so good at knowing what to say for other people, I wish I knew what to say now. I'm sorry you're feeling a bit lost between boards. I know crossing over that 6 month trying mark really wasn't easy for me. If this isn't the month, I may be a mopey, difficult mess.

But, I stick with the board because I love so many people that post here. It does make me sad when I click on a thread and I don't recognize anyone that's posted.

I hope you don't leave because I would miss you, but I understand.

karaknr · December 2010

The description of 3T is actually anyone who has been trying 6 months or more or who is having trouble conceiving. I know that that board has its own dynamic, but it wouldnt be "wrong" to post over there after 6 months. Especially if you already know there are some problems. Plus a huge part of the women that post over there post here too so you would know a ton of people. Also if you wanted to post on 3T that wouldnt mean you had to stop posting here.

I dont want you to go either Lovey, but I think it would be fine to post on either or both boards for you. I know many women who would probably welcome you with open arms over there and many women here who want you to stay. I know 3T is a great source for when you start venturing into the realm of RE's and testing where as TTGP cant answer as many questions about that. Hopefully you wont have to get to that point though

And more than that, I hope you can just skip all that and go straight to first tri soon!

MillerTime13 · December 2010

Daysie:
I do lovey. It's hasn't been a year for me yet, but it's been 6 months. Too early for 3T but yet, sometimes the way this board has changed, I don't feel like I fit here either.

This for me too. We've been trying for 5 months, but I was here a month before that... I find more and more that I associate with individuals as opposed to the board as a whole.

I email my TTGP grad loves almost every day, but there are days I feel like I only "know" a handful of people here and I too sometimes don't open or respond to newbie posts Embarrassed

branmuffin2112 · December 2010

HoneyBee111409:

Yep. I feel exactly this way. I don't really fit here because it's been over a year and I also had a c/p (although I never had it confirmed by a dr. so I'm still pretty much terrified that I can't even get pregnant.)

And we're still in the beginning stages of testing - nothing like what the girls over on 3T are going through.

So yeah.. i feel ya.

honeybee needs a one of these too {{{bigfathug}}}

You're so strong and brave girl, hang in there! Much love xoxoxo

OtterPop1 · December 2010

Like Kathy said, knowing IVF is our only option has caused me to be in a weird place. I've posted a bit on 3T, but I really do like this board and enjoy reading (most) of the posts. I've had a hard time posting much lately because of feeling a bit lost, though.

((HUGS)) Lovey

Actually, ((HUGS)) everyone.

steff13914 · December 2010

I can understand this. I do think this board can be hard for the ones who aren't new anymore. After a couple of months the excitement dies down a little, and it's annoying to see all the eager beavers with their dumb questions flying in and out.

I have been posting on 3T a little bit, but I do feel a little awkward over there since I am not going through the things that the other ladies are. I honestly believe that is the board where all of us who are past 6 months should be, but it is more of an infertility board in my opinion. I think they feel the same we "seasoned ttgp'ers" do about people like me who are just starting testing, as we feel about newbies.

It's tough to feel like you fit in, but you have great support here! We you, and we are cheering for you!

lyse2143 · December 2010

Hey Lovey, I'm with Sulfa. Honeslty 3T is for people who are just at the 1 year mark, or about to do testing. Technically it is for 6months or more based on the board description, but I think for the most part, it has become a home for people not quite at year and not quite at the testing stage but thinking about it, and range to people doing IVF. I think you can make any board your home board but you must feel comfortable. I post here, 3T, and IF. I feel most comfortable on IF, but still post elsewhere because I have people that I follow and cheer for.

karaknr · December 2010

WifeofMrA:
I couldn't agree more.

I find myself not posting a ton lately...we're at cycle 13 of TTC and I feel out of place...

I wish there was more of an inbetween board..where you're not necessarily dealing with huge infertility issues but it's just taking you a bit longer!

That is actually what TTTC is for. There is a board for IF and STTTC that are supposed to be more geared towards long term IF struggles. I could be wrong, but that has always been my thoughts on it based on board descriptions and such.

btsrc5 · December 2010

I think you fit here. I love having you here. Please don't leave

cozylittlecave · December 2010

Ditto here... we've been TTC for 8 months now... which is getting 'up there.' BUT we're just finishing cycle 5, cycle 2 was wonky & didn't even have a chance, and cycle 3 was a bfp. On one hand, it didn't take us long the first time, and hopefully it won't again, but on the other hand that 8 month mark (regardless of the fact not all of it was unsuccessful TTC) is really hard for me to swallow.

WifeofMrA · December 2010

I've lurked over at TTTC and I think alot of the girls over there are well into treatments. There seem to be a ton of posts about their IUI's, IVF's and diagnoses..

maybebride · December 2010

Lovey, I started feeling that way around Cycle 9/10 myself. It's just an odd place to be. It's part of the reason I stopped posting/posting as much. I've been posting more again, but just avoiding most of the "newbie" posts.

I know how you feel about 3T and I haven't started posting over there myself (plan to do an intro if this current cycle is a bust), but many of the ladies over there have mentioned that gals like us would be welcomed.

FWIW, you offer a wealth of information and are just a great lady to have around, so you would be loved either place. And just because you "move" over there doesn't mean you can't still post over here when you want.

tigerhearted · December 2010

Like a PP said, it really does feel different past the 6mo mark. This is our 7th cycle. Though I'm not sure if 3 of those cycles count, but time has passed just the same...the first cycle in June was my first cycle off a brief stint on BCP. Then 2 cycles in Sept and Oct my husband was so sick that we were practically abstinent.

brideonjuly8 · December 2010

I feel the exact same way. This is our 7th cycle (not very long, but...) after my surgery, the tumor, the stage 3 endo, then the CP a few months ago, now the meds, I don't feel like I fit anywhere either.

staycee · December 2010

faydre:

I feel exactly the same! I feel like once you get past like 6 months of TTC or so.. you are sooo changed. TTC board doesn't feel right anymore. After only 8 months -- i know i wouldn't fit in on 3T.

I feel like i'm just floating around.

I wish there was a place to talk seriously about TTC after the noob phase wears off... a place with girls at the same stage, goign through the same emotions, etc...

this is exactly why TTC6+ was created way back in Jan or Feb of 2008. However, it's then morphed into 12+, and finally Snarky. We've mostly all been there since the beginning.

MySweetBaboo · December 2010

You aren't alone. I don't have Secondary IF, yet, so I don't belong there. I have lurked on the TTC after 35, but am afraid I would not be welcome. I was on the Loss board a lot after my m/c but didn't feel I fit in there either.

I would love an in-between board.

heather_09_15_07 · December 2010

I think each board is what you make it.

I don't really fit in here or stttc but I post both places. I also post on lots of other boards. I guess I refuse to be pigeonholed. lol.

I think you should post wherever you want, and wherever you feel comfortable. The more people leave the board, the more it will be taken over by newbs.

sweet*pockets · December 2010

I feel ya, Lovey. I haven't been posting as much because, I just feel like I am in a different boat. I have been pregnant, but its just not happening like it did the first time... which in itself is a different issue than yours, but like you, I feel I am in a weird "in between" phase.

Ricola · December 2010

I think that this post shows that a lot of you/us ladies don't think they fit here anymore. But why is that? There are so many of us that have been trying 6 months + that I think we are a large portion of the posters. If we all leave, the newbs won't have anyone to teach them. And if you don't feel like opening the newbie-threads (and I often don't, I must admit), then just don't and leave that to the ones who do. All this to say...none of us is alone.

Temp878586125009588 · December 2010

Ricola:
I think that this post shows that a lot of you/us ladies don't think they fit here anymore. But why is that? There are so many of us that have been trying 6 months + that I think we are a large portion of the posters. If we all leave, the newbs won't have anyone to teach them. And if you don't feel like opening the newbie-threads (and I often don't, I must admit), then just don't and leave that to the ones who do. All this to say...none of us is alone.

(((hugs))) Thanks Ricola!

loveypants · December 2010

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I love this board, I really do. But I feel *stuck*. And I know we aren't supposed to being up ttgpps, but let's face it, at least a couple people feel like some of us "regs" need to move on. So maybe 3t or even a ttgp6+ would be good for some of us.

edit - some letters were missing lol

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