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I really hope no one else asks...

CakesABakeCakesABake
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

"OH! Did you guys have the baby?" Obviously now I don't look pregnant anymore and since we lost our baby at 8 months people just assume that I had him. Well no I didn't...

I sometimes just want to be mean and say NO our baby DIED... but I don't I just say nicely there is no baby....and then most people understand and then look sorry and give me a hug or something. Then there are the dumbasses who keep probing and saying"HUH?" WHAT HAPPENED...

are you serious???? By this point I want to ball my eyes out but for some reason I keep my composure for the sake of others...why? I have no idea why. 

Ugh Lord keep me strong...crossing my fingers to be pregnant again by NYE! 

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Re: I really hope no one else asks...

  • LilMaggsLilMaggs member
    *hugs* I am so sorry.  Those questions are the worst.  If you want to cry, cry.  Anyone who expects you to keep your composure is a cruel and heartless idiot.  I am hoping to see a BFP for you soon, you deserve it. 
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  • butterflynolabutterflynola member

     "I keep my composure for the sake of others...why? I have no idea why."

    This exactly.  I hate that but I find myself doing it too.  As if we all haven't gone through enough we now have to go out of our way to make others feel comfortable when having a very uncomfortable and difficult conversation with us.  I feel for you, ((hugs)) & fingers crossed for you for NYE!

    ?DD 9/17/10 22wks I carry you in my heart.?
    bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
    ?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
    bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
    bfp#4 2/25/13
    beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
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  • dana1318adana1318a
    I am so, so sorry  :(  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your BFP by NYE!  ((hugs))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    11.10.10 from my belly to my heart at 11wks 5days

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  • CakesABakeCakesABake
    imagelissasue3:

    ((hugs))

    This happened to me last week and since it's someone I don't plan on seeing again I just told the truth, albeit I left out that she died.  

    "Did you have a baby?"   "Yep."  

    "Is it a baby sister or brother?"   "A baby sister."

    "What's her name?"  "Charlotte."  

    ::Sigh::

    UGH that is awful, I can't even imagine that i would have held it together...((HUGS)) 

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  • CakesABakeCakesABake
    imageAutumnmh1:

     "I keep my composure for the sake of others...why? I have no idea why."

    This exactly.  I hate that but I find myself doing it too.  As if we all haven't gone through enough we now have to go out of our way to make others feel comfortable when having a very uncomfortable and difficult conversation with us.  I feel for you, ((hugs)) & fingers crossed for you for NYE!

    Thanks! Btw my real name is Autumn Smile

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  • CakesABakeCakesABake

    imageLilMaggs:
    *hugs* I am so sorry.  Those questions are the worst.  If you want to cry, cry.  Anyone who expects you to keep your composure is a cruel and heartless idiot.  I am hoping to see a BFP for you soon, you deserve it. 

    Thanks 

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  • samanthahollmansamanthahollman

    I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that, on top of the loss of your LO. I can't even imagine what it must be like. 

    ::hugs:: 

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  • ashleywebberashleywebber member
    I know what you mean.  I was pregnant with twins and my daughter died at 35 weeks.  Thankfully my son was perfectly healthy at that point when we had to deliver.  It's hard when we see people and they look at me and I can tell they are thinking, "Where is the other one?"  Most people don't ask which is actually kind of harder because it makes things really awkward.  When someone does ask, I explain as quickly and simply as possible.  It's hard.  I can't imagine someone continuing to ask you for the details.  A little inappropriate and rude IMO.
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  • cookie_queencookie_queen

    ((hugs))

    The questions are the worst. 

    TTC with severe MFI since 9/08 IVF w/ ICSI #1 May/June 2010= BFP twins
    Callan George and Bennett Charles born and died 11/7/10
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    FET #1 April 2011= BFN
    FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
    FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138 Pregnancy Ticker
    Living After Losing
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  • CakesABakeCakesABake

    ...and of course someone on FB who never got the memo sends me a message today asking how me and baby are doing.... Sad

    So I told her the detailed truth (I know that made her feel bad,and that it was not her fault she did not know) however it makes me feel better to make people uncomfortable after they have brought up such a painful memory out of no where...even if they innocently did it. I know I sound horrible now, but I just get so upset. 

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