2nd Trimester

Who's going to be in your delivery room?

Just wanted to take a quick pull and see who everyone has decided to allow into the delivery room during labor and during your birth.

This is my first pregnancy (25 weeks along) and I've always though that I would have close family and my DH allowed in the delivery room during labor, but then when it's time for the pushing - push everyone but DH out the door. But now that I'm actually pregnant I'm not sure if I want my mom or MIL there as well.

Did any of you moms decide to include other people besides DH in the delivery room, and if so how did it go? Just wondering if anyone can share their own thoughts and feelings on this subject.

Thanks girls!

 

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Re: Who's going to be in your delivery room?

  • DH's family will not be allowed in the room until after the baby is born. My mom and sister will be in there (if they choose) up until pushing.

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  • With DS, once I got the epi, I didn't care who was in the room during labor. Honestly I was bored(once I got the epi!) so I enjoyed the company. It was DH, parents, MIL, SIL and her hubby, and my brother. Of course not all at once, but they took turns visiting me. When it was time to push, I kicked everyone out and it was just DH. I plan to do the same this time.
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  • I will have my DH and my best friend, who is my doula.  Everyone else can wait until after the baby's born.
  • it will be the baby's father and my mother. At first i didn't want my mom in there while pushing, but now, i think she will be a big comfort for me.

    I don't plan on having anyone else at the hospital at all, untill after the birth.

  • DH and medical staff only.

    We're hoping to not call family until after the baby is born. I am very close with my mom, but have no desire whatsoever to have her in the delivery room. I want a few hours with DH and our new baby after she's born before we get mobbed, also.

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  • My mom and sister came in while I was in labor and to be honest, it was a pain in the ass. I just wanted to rest and be alone with dh. No one but dh was allowed once I was ready to push. I would hope that everyone will stay away until AFTER the baby is born this time. It would be nicer for me.
  • I don't have to make any hard decisions on this one because all of our family lives 3,000 miles away.  It will just be DH and me.
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  • It will just be DH and I. Just like you, I always thought that I'd have my mom and grandmother in there during the whole thing. Now, I don't want anyone except DH and the staff. I want a few special moments after delivery too just for DH and I. I think the more real this becomes, the more I realize that DH, LO, and I are now a family. That we have a special bond that no one else has. 

    I will say, DH was a little ticked when he found out that I didn't want anyone else in there. He thought that his DAD would be in there for delivery! I just busted out laughing at this. DH has a HUGE family. 8 brothers and sisters, Dad and mom. He expects them all to be in the waiting room and be able to see LO immediately after delivery. Not gonna happen! They can wait just a little bit. 

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  • I don't particularly care who is in the room while I'm laboring.  I'm sure I'll have tons of people in and out.  However, when it comes time to push everyone but DH is getting out!  This is going to be brand new for my in-laws because with all of my SIL's births everyone who wanted to has been allowed in the room during delivery!
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  • With my DS I had my younger sister and DH in with me. I had planned to kick my sister out when I was pushing, but I didn't really care that she was there.

    This time I will have my older sister (possibly younger also) and DH with me. I'm really close with my sisters though, and my DH loves them as if they were his real sisters, so it worked really well for us.

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  • My DH and my mom. Everyone else can wait until after I'm all cleaned up and have breastfed LO.
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  • I had my DS at home..But the only people here were DH, my mom, and the midwives..I always new i wanted my mom because she has given birth 6 times and wanted her support.
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  • I honestly don't care who is there...during labor or pushing.  Last time, I had DH, my BFF, and some med students.  This time, it's free game.  I saw my sister give birth when I was 12 and it was life-changing.  I'll share the event with anyone who can stomach it.
  • During labor I don't care. But people can get the eff out when they check me out and for delivery. Its just DH at that point. During labor I won't have much to do besides what focus on the pain? I would rather have some distractions. My mom and sister will provide a great distraction I hope. But they will get out at all times my hoohaa is showing.


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  • my hospital only allows 2 people in the labor room with me. so it will be DH and only him. *maybe my mom but i honestly don't even want her there all that much b/c she might drive me nuts! :)
  • imageCupidsCuter:

    It will just be DH and I. Just like you, I always thought that I'd have my mom and grandmother in there during the whole thing. Now, I don't want anyone except DH and the staff. I want a few special moments after delivery too just for DH and I. I think the more real this becomes, the more I realize that DH, LO, and I are now a family. That we have a special bond that no one else has. 

    I will say, DH was a little ticked when he found out that I didn't want anyone else in there. He thought that his DAD would be in there for delivery! I just busted out laughing at this. DH has a HUGE family. 8 brothers and sisters, Dad and mom. He expects them all to be in the waiting room and be able to see LO immediately after delivery. Not gonna happen! They can wait just a little bit. 

    Bwahahaha!  Was he really serious?! That's great.  Ummm no honey, I only want one male in your family knowing what my hoo-ha looks like and since you already do your dad's out.  LOL.

    The more I think about it, I think I want my mother there, although I am torn becuase I want it to be a special moment for me and my fiance.  My mom had both me and my brother through C-Section, so she didn't experience natural birth (she tried with me, but since I was in distress they had to do an emergency c-section.  Back then I don't think they did VBAC's, so they scheduled when my brother was born.).  Plus this is her first grandchild...I don't really know.  I'll probably just let her and my dad in while laboring and have them leave when I push, but I might change my mind last minute about letting my mom stay in there.

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  • At my hospital, 2 people are allowed in during labor, and 1 during the actual delivery.  We've decided we just want it to be us throughout the whole time though.
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  • All I want is DH and my mom....everyone else can wait until after I have the baby.  My mother tends to keep her cool and is very calming, so I need her with me.Wink
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  • Original plan: Just my husband

    What actually happened: My Husband, Mom, Dad, younger brother and MIL

     

    I was out of my mind and I didn't have it in me to kick them out, they were all so excited.  The nurse was pushing me to keep them there saying, "They aren't looking at you, they're concentrating on the baby"  BS like that.

    Anyway they all stayed.  I just watched the birth video for the first time two nights ago...and I was horrified at what they witnessed.  Next time around it just me and my husband...no wiggling room with that.  They're out of the room for the pushing.

     

  • imageskio:

    DH and medical staff only.

    We're hoping to not call family until after the baby is born. I am very close with my mom, but have no desire whatsoever to have her in the delivery room. I want a few hours with DH and our new baby after she's born before we get mobbed, also.

    I feel the same way completely. I am hoping to go without meds and don't want anyone there while I am dealing with the pain. Then I especially don't want anyone else there looking at my lady parts while I am pushing.  

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  • This has been a big discussion for us - I lost my mom when I was very young so my step mom will be in there with DH and I and if my little sister would like to stay (she will be finishing nursing school) I am happy. My dh gets very nervous when I am in pain, so I need extra support. i am hoping this is a special time for all of us if she is there.

     

  • It will just be DH and the medical staff with me. I want to wait to call people until after the baby is born, but I know DH will be on the phone with everyone as soon as I go into labor. I just don't want a mob of people coming in after the baby is born. Hopefully I can talk DH into only notifying the grandparents and our siblings that I am in labor and everyone else after the baby is here.
    DD1: May 2011
    DD2: February 2014

  • unless they have an active role in getting baby IN, or getting baby OUT, they don't need to be in the delivery room, IMO.
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  • Doctors, medical staff and DH. 
  • DH, mom and sisters.
  • This is another great thing about c/sections, DH is the only one allowed so I don't have to make any decisions or tell anyone no.
  • I didn't want anyone there other than DH with DD#1. For some reason, I felt like it would put pressure on me. Also, I wanted to have some time with the baby after she was born without others around. I have absolutely no regrets.

    For LO#2, it will just be DH again since I'm having a scheduled c-section. We'll invite in-laws to come over after the baby is born and once we have a bit of time with him/her.

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  • just dh.

    we are not even going to tell anyone i am in labor until the baby is out and we have had some time alone with her.

    with my last pregnancy i made it clear that i didnt want anyone in the delivery room. I told family and i told hospital staff and lo and behold my mom and MIL kept sneaking in "to check on me". MIL asked me for a hug in the middle of a contraction and I yelled at her to GTFO. I was pissed

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  • With DS:

    While in labor: DH, my mom, dad, sisters(2), MIL, FIL, Gpa, Gma, and a few close friends... I loved having everyone around to keep my mind off the pain ( no epi) 

    When it came time to push:

    It was DH , my mom, MIL, and Gma.  I wouldnt have it any other way.  They were all such a great support team for me and they gave us alone time with DS right after he was born also! 

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  • imagenital:
    unless they have an active role in getting baby IN, or getting baby OUT, they don't need to be in the delivery room, IMO.

    Amen

    Nathaniel David 3/22/11 #2 due 12/16/12
  • It will just be me and DH for the actual delivery. I am ok with people coming in before pushing starts, but I reserve the right to kick anyone out at anytime. Part of this has to with my mom and how she reacts to seeing me in pain. When I was kid she would frequently have to leave the room if I got stitches or any kind of procedure done. This made me even more scared as a child to have the procedure done. If she freaks out, I will freak out and that will be bad.
  • DH says he'd like it to just be the two of us.  When the time comes, he may change his mind.  Honestly, there are several close female relatives that I wouldn't mind having in the room with us.  I guess I'm just different in that I don't care.  Again, maybe I'll change my mind when the time comes.
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  • With my first I had my mom, my ex-boyfriend/"The father" and my ex's mom in the delivery room... the rule for the hospital was supposed to be 2 support people max but my doctors told me as long as they weren't in the way or anything I could have as many people as I was comfortable with. I was 19, my boyfriend was an ***, and there was no way my mom wasn't going to be in the room.

    This time if I'm limited to only 2 people it will be my boyfriend and SFIL. I offered the extra space to MIL since it's her first grandchild and my mom was there for my first son, but she suggested (if I was okay with it) that SFIL would LOVE to be there and that it would mean a lot to him because he doesn't have any biological children of his own, and she's been through birth and such three times herself. If there are no limits I'd be cool with my mom and MIL being there too if they'd like. I love putting my vag on display apparently.

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  • Having a homebirth.  DH, midwives and best friend (I was her doula, she will be mine).  Anyone else would stress me out and cause me to lose my focus.  I don't want anyone visiting maybe even until the next day so likely won't call parents/inlaws until way after the fact.  I want our little family to adjust to one another before the parents try to take over.

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  • Just my husband. I'm having a c-section.
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  • It will just be FI and myself with the medical team of course.

    I learnt my lesson previously with allowing friends and MIL in and it was just way too much. I want something private and meaningful this time round, and hopefully I will make it to the hospital unlike last time.. lol..

  • My husband and my mom. That's probably all I'll be able to handle!! (Plus, beside DH of course, my mom is someone I feel I'll need with me).
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