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Do/did you talk about your shower w/ guests if you weren't the one planning it?

SeaSoulSeaSoul member
in Success after IF

My shower isn't a surprise, but the details are and I have not seen the invitation.  I did provide the guest list, though.  As is typical, no one has brought it up to me because of the whole "I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a surprise" thing that we've all gone through before.  It's funny because we all know if it WERE a surprise, the invitation would say so, but unless it explicitly says it ISN'T a surprise, there's always that "what if" in the back of your mind, so you just decide not to mention it.  Been there many times!  So, I can't blame anyone.  But it's weird because some of the guests are close friends I am in touch with regularly so it feels strange not to be talking about it.  I have asked a couple of people if they got the invitation and they said "Yes, and I'm glad you mentioned it because I wasn't sure if it was a surprise!"  And then I followed up asking if they thought they could make it... which also feels a little weird.  I guess it's just a strange position to be in, eh?  So, I'm curious, if you were in a similar situation did you talk about the shower w/ your friends or just leave it alone and wait and see who showed up (actually my mom has told me she'll let me know the final guest list, which I'm glad of)?

 

Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!

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Re: Do/did you talk about your shower w/ guests if you weren't the one planning it?

  • MrsJLPMrsJLP
    Mine isn't a surprise either, and yes, I do talk about it with guests. I figure that's the reason it's not a surprise...I wanted to know, so why can't I talk about it? Big Smile
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  • SeaSoulSeaSoul member
    haha - good point, JLP!
    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • kittylovekittylove member
    I spoke to some of my friends about it but for the most part if they didn't bring it up then I tried not to either. I felt awkward talking about it. Silly I am sure but that is how I felt.
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  • SeaSoulSeaSoul member
    Kitty - I think part of my hesitation is I'm afraid if they can't make it they'll go into some big explanation/justification as to why not, and it'll just make me feel bad to know those specifics, especially if it doesn't seem like a valid excuse, you know? 
    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    Mines not a surprise and everyone knows that - but I feel awkward talking about it because it's a gift giving event for ME!  I feel weird even asking "So- can you come?".

    One friend handled the guest list and she actually jsut sent me the tally of who is coming, so that was good! 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • SeaSoulSeaSoul member
    EastCoastBride - that's so true, and it's my general instinct.  I'm so uncomfortable in this position I just don't know what the right thing to do is...  Now I wish I hadn't asked the person I asked.  I'm going to leave well enough alone now.
    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member
    same here- not a surprise - i talked about it... and then i didn't get to go :( I was in the hospital with kidney stones - DH went and opened the gifts :)
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