A few posts back about family in the delivery room has got me thinking again. Why on earth do MIL's, sisters, etc WANT to be in the room during delivery???? I don't get why this is such an issue. Yes, newborns are cute and it's a special moment, but holy cow if I ever have a daughter or DIL, the last thing I'd want to watch is a baby come out of her. Yuck. It's pretty messy business. I wouldn't even want a mirror to watch myself. Why aren't they just happy with seeing the baby 3 minutes later when he/she is all cleaned up and wrapped up cute in a blanket?
Re: Am I the only one who doesn't understand?
Or maybe they want to throw it i your face later and say "I was there when the baby was born."
Me and my boyfriend. That's IT besides staff.
Its just a moment I think.
When I was in school I was during rounds in the labor and delivery unit. I saw a woman give birth and I was in awe. I cried, I cant explain it, its just a miracle to witness LIFE like that.
I personally want my mom in the room to witness because I'm adopted and my mom has never experienced anything like that and I think it would be special for her to see it.
Everyone else, can wait outside.
Sarah I like your reason for having your mom there, and it's also you that wants her there.
It's the pushy people fighting to be there that I don't get.
When it comes to family wanting to be in the delivery room, I think it boils down to them feeling left out. They have been there for many many many other special moments and they can't imagine not being there for this one. I find the "demanding to be in the room" crap to be very babyish...
that's really sweet of you.
on the flipside - my mom was adopted and when she and my dad were expecting me my dad chickened out and thought that maybe he wouldn't want to be in the delivery room (he was 21). She asked her mother if she would be with her during delivery and my grandmother told my mom to ask her brother. Eh, ok?
My dad changed his mind though.
Some people see no issue in the "messy buisness" of birth and see it for being one of the few beautiful things in life...
My DH and I are planning to let his mother, my MIL, in the room with us during the birth. My DH is an adopted only son. My MIL was unable to have children, and has never been part of a pregnancy let alone a birth. We thought it would be a nice gift to her to allow her to be a part of something she wanted so bad for herself and could never have.
Honestly I have no issue with it, I know it would mean the world to her. If she wants to be there, and be a part of a yes messy but beautiful thing then thats her choice. It means more to her to be a part my pregnancy and birth of her grandchild then it does for me to be embaressed of what she sees.
Also, It was just dh and I for my sons birth, my mom came in 2 minutes later, so this second one I'm ok with having someone and so is dh.
By lilenatalem at 2012-01-28
This. My grandmother had decided she was going to be there and got very upset when I told her no. She had ZERO reasons to want to be there, I asked her why and she was silent.
That's how I feel. And my MIL has two daughters if they want her in there with them that's great. But the only person besides my husband I would want in there besides my DH is my sister and since they only allow 3 people, I'd either have to decide between my mom and MIL or say neither and if I said that they would flip. Especially my mom. So it's just too much drama and they can't respect that. they just keep thinking of themselves. And if this was her only opportunity I would have considered that but it isn't.
I feel they have no real reasons to want to be in there except to say 'I saw the baby born' too.
I totally agree, nor would I want DH to watch.
Yeah, I asked my mom about being there during labor - she said it should just be me & DH. I laughed & told her I meant JUST labor!! When anything is coming out of me, everyone gets OUT. Except DH - and he only wants to be by my head.
I reviewed our birth plan last week, and went over the mirror things. I had said that I did NOT want to be offered one. I've seen a birth before, and I'm fine without seeing it again. The MW brought up a good point though. She said sometimes they offer it to you so that you can see how you are pushing & sometimes it helps people be more effective. I conceded to be offered the mirror for those reasons only. Although, I really hope I don't need to use it! lol!
You are right. She is being a little ridiculous and asking her husband is kind of creepy. are they not able to have children of their own? Whether or not they are or aren't it's your decision.
It's like my SIL saying her friend's whole family was in there and that her dad helped her push and stuff. And I was like ok well that's good for her but I think that's creepy.
ya,
I completely understand why my mom wants to be there, and she understand why I do NOT want her there.
My MIL on the other hand . . . you'd think DH and I told her she can never see LO at all with all the drama she's made over me not wanting her there.
WTF woman, I don't even want my own mom there.
ya,
I completely understand why my mom wants to be there, and she understand why I do NOT want her there.
My MIL on the other hand . . . you'd think DH and I told her she can never see LO at all with all the drama she's made over me not wanting her there.
WTF woman, I don't even want my own mom there.
No , I agree with you completely, but everyone's different and for some people it is what they need to be surrounded by familiar people to relax etc.
Not sure tht my family would want to be there for that bit even if I wanted them there!!!!
This exactly. I don't want to see it, I can't understand peoples fascination with it. Plus, I want time for DH and I to bond by ourselves with LO before people come into the room
That's because we see it from our own point of view--that we are in labor, that it's a vulnerable moment, that our bodies and feelings are exposed, and that it's a sacred moment for our new families.
They don't see it that way at all. They only see BABY. You are just the way it gets here. They're not looking at you or how it's happening. They just want to be THERE and be FIRST.
So it's up to you to remind them, you aren't just the vessel: you are a person, you are the mother, you are naked, and it is your baby. You will call them when you want to and they will like it.
I was just thinking this morning "I don't think I would want to be in the room when my daughter gives birth.", so why the hell my mother wants to be there when I do, is beyond me. I already told her it will just be DH and I, but she still asks me why she can't be there...like I need some magic answer. My sis let her in the room for the birth of her second child, so she thinks I should too...not happen'n mom...get over it!
Tonight I had my weekly OB visit and my mom made a comment to the doc "See you when she gets here.", so my reply was "What are you talking about, I come back to the dr's next week"...she said "ooh, I meant when you deliver and I'm in the room". uh...what part of "No" don't you understand?
I KNOW!
This may sound crabby but I dont really want anyone coming to the hospital to visit us. I know she will be coming home with us but I really just ant that time for the hubs & me. We have been waiting for her for nine months, to meet her & hold her & hear her. The hubs & I dont want to share her
Plus not that Im planning to look like a model but I dont really want anyone seeing me look like hell! When I look back on the pics taken of my sisters at the hospial, they look horable (not to be mean).