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Adoption
Dragonfly_Bride
member
So, there are many, many things that make this a very slim chance for us, and I'm feeling extreme calm. Perhaps denial. In any case, I guess I'll need to talk to my boss finally about our plans to adopt!
How do you handle waiting when being shown to a PBM?
Dragonfly_Bride
member
in Adoption
Ok, here's the background (c&p from my local board):
We have agreed to be shown to a woman who is due 11/25. This is through a facilitator who we aren't signed up with, but who we gave some of our profiles to. She is showing four other couples to this woman, so it's not like we are really holding our breath, but you never know. The situation is even more complicated, because the woman really wants to parent, but believes that CPS will step in as soon as she gives birth & will terminate her parental rights right away (I don't have any other details). In these types of situations, the birthparent can sometimes work with an adoption professional to have some choice in the matter of who to choose instead of CPS getting involved. There is a chance that CPS won't be involved, and in that case she would parent.So, there are many, many things that make this a very slim chance for us, and I'm feeling extreme calm. Perhaps denial. In any case, I guess I'll need to talk to my boss finally about our plans to adopt!
All I know is that the facilitator wants the PBM to choose a family before she gives birth so everything is in place if CPS is called. I know absolutely nothing about the situation other than what I wrote above. The main thing that's driving me crazy is that I don't know when she's showing her the profiles... so I'm just sitting here going crazy! Ask me how much work I've done in the last two days... At least I have the next three days off.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do you handle waiting when being shown to a PBM?
Oops.. I was cut off. The darn roller coaster of being shown and knowing about it is super tough. I get hopeful and then cynical with each showing.
It's tough. Hang in there... and my fingers are crossed!
For me personally, I don't think I could get involved in this case.
I would think that, should the state come in a take the baby, she would have a chance to clean up and work towards getting her baby back if she really wants to parent, right?
Would her situation not be similar to any other child taken into foster care where a plan is put in place with the goal of reunification?
I totally respect that. If it wasn't such a short timeframe of everything happening (less than a week, give or take), then I probably wouldn't be interested. But, since it will all play out fairly quickly, it's worth pursuing to me.
From my understanding, if there is an adoption plan already in place, then CPS will back-off. I asked about her being able to work a plan, and was told there was no way... her mom is raising two other of her kids and can't take in a new one. So, that's how it's different. But still maddening!
My understanding is that the PBM will parent if CPS isn't called. Her mom won't (as of right now) be taking in the newest baby.
So, I mean we have maybe a 20% chance of being initially chosen, and then all the other factors have to line up (CPS gets called, CPS allows adoption plan)... but at least I feel that I have a good handle on keeping emotionally protected by knowing there are lots of red-flags, so it hopefully won't ultimately end in extreme heartbreak for us. If it's meant to be, it will be. Mainly I just want to KNOW!!!!
The facilitator is showing her the profiles today or tomorrow, but I'm not sure when a decision would be made.
You just keep repeating that to yourself--if this is your baby, it will be. And try to stay really, really busy. ;-)
i didn't read "her mom" clearly. duh me!