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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
My flammable Unpop Op
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Re: My flammable Unpop Op
Ehh, in my head it was related in that to me, both holidays and birthdays (and birth-days) are events to share with family. And that there is plenty of alone time on non-important days.
I wasn't talking about having lots of people in the room or even really about the recovery aspect. I meant more just parents. I was thinking back to how in 3rd tri people would post about not wanting anyone except their DH/SO in the room with them for x amount of hours after the birth so that they could bond. For that reason specifically - to have alone time and bond. Obviously medical complications are different.
Now I had my mom in there for the delivery and I know that is not everyone's choice. But once I was stitched up I was happy to have my dad, MIL and FIL come in. Not because I felt all energetic or looked good, but bc I knew that they had been out there waiting and praying and that they wanted to share in the moment.
We will do the same thing that we did last year with DD. Christmas Eve day will be spent with my grandparents and Christmas Eve late afternoon with DH's family. We go to church at 5:30 pm on Christmas Eve and then are home after that for the night. Christmas morning DD, DH, and I will open presents together "just us." That is our special time together so we can enjoy watching DD open the presents that we got for her. Then my parents and DHs parents are welcome to come over and spend the rest of the day with us.
I don't think that I little quiet family time is so awful but we also spend a lot of time with our families during the two days. Plus we are hosting Thanksgiving this year at our house so that day will be loaded with family.
Not everyone is close with their family.
Also, I think starting your own traditions is part of growing up and becoming your own family.
I think this all depends on your culture and or how you were raised. In my family Christmas Eve is the big deal. For my DH Christmas morning is 'the event'. My family could give three hoots about who is in who's house on the 25th. Most of us are hungover from the night before anyway (tee-hee). If you didn't want to open up presents with the 'rest of the family' that was your deal. No one took it personal.
However, the memories that stick out most in my mind was opening up presents with other small children (siblings, cousins). Taking turns having the spotlight turned on us as we opened each present was probably the most exciting part.
These days if it were just DH, me, and LO without my sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, abuelas and abuelos - well, it just wouldn't be the holidays. It'd be like any other day in our household. I live 800+ miles away from my family and I wouldn't want it to be just us.
I think it totally depends on the person's preferences and there is no right/wrong. Our families live far away and so if anyone was going to be there when the baby was born, it wouldn't be a quick pop in to see the baby and go home. I wanted to get some bonding time before having visitors.
In the end I was so grateful we made that decision. I had an emergency c/s with health complications and a 6 day hospital stay. It would have been so much worse to have the pressure of out of town visitors on top of how incredibly crappy I felt and looked. I don't regret it for a second.
We're spending Christmas morning just the 3 of us. We want it that way. Our families are coming over later and we're seeing them on boxing day. We want to be alone to start our own family tradition. A little quiet family time before the craziness of the ILs and my side of the family isn't a lot to ask for.
And... we also didn't want people storming the hospital after DS was born either. We wanted time with just the 3 of us, getting to know each other before we had visitors. Those are moments we'll cherish and we would do it again in a heartbeat.
I would agree that it might be a little sad if you want to spend the entire day by yourselves, but if you're talking about families who enjoy "just us" Christmas mornings, I would disagree. DH and I both come from loud, huge families. Christmas, once we leave the house, involves driving 45 min to one family's house, being surrounded by complete chaos, followed by driving another 45 minutes to the other house, being surrounded by a different set of chaos, then driving another 45 minutes home and collapsing from exhaustion.
Those few hours of time when we bring DD out of her crib, and watch her open presents from us, and chase the cats around the tree in her holiday pajamas... That's the one moment of peace we'll have as a family all day. Everything else is a crazy blur. I will cherish that peaceful, happy time where it is just me and my husband and the beautiful baby that we created together.