Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Concerns About New Airport Body Scan
I went to DC when I was 7 weeks pregnant. On the flight home, when leaving the DC airport, I had to go through the full body scanner. They were shoving us through security so fast that I didn't have time to protest and it was over before I knew it.
I did a lot of research and talked to my doctor. My baby is doing fine and no problems have come from it. I might be more worried if I was traveling every week but a one time thing isn't enough to make me freak out over. But I'm no expert either, just my own opinion.
BFP #2 ~ 4/22/2010 ~ EDD 12/29/2010 ~ Born 12/19/2010 ~ My Rainbow Baby
BFP #3 ~ 6/10/2012 ~ EDD 2/20/2013 ~ HB 100bpm @ 9w3d ~ M/C 7/11/2012
BFP #4 ~ 3/16/2013 ~ EDD 11/20/2013 ~ Born 11/17/2013 ~ Rainbow Baby #2
This. It's not like they're going to do an anal cavity search. They're patting you down.
Personally, I would go through the scanner. But if you're that uncomfortable, take the pat down.
LOL - thank you. WTF does 'invasive' mean? It's not like they're doing a cavity search. Choose the lesser of the two evils and move on.
(or, don't fly. whichever).
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
My DH was in the air force and worked on jets in avionics as well as a private pilot--and he says that you get WAY more radiation from just flying--being that close to the sun--THAT is what we need to be concerned about --but regardless, I'd take the pat down just to not have ADDITIONAL radiation.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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Notes:
Not sure if the body scanners here are different than they are overseas, but a friend of mine went to Ukraine while pregnant and they did not make her go through the machine because she was pregnant.
I'd definitely take the pat down. Even if it says it's safe, you KNOW the pat down won't do any harm.
https://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/nov/14/tsa-ejects-oceanside-man-airport-refusing-security/
They might not let you fly if you don't agree to it. TSA rules.
I would define "invasive" as infringing on or violating personal space. (Not going as far as a cavity search) This is why the new pat down methods have me concerned about being invasive if you refuse the body scan:
"In addition, Transportation Security Agency agents are now allowed to conduct a very detailed, very personal, body search of passengers who refuse to pass through the new scanners. The agents are allowed to use fingers and the palms of their hands to feel around breasts and genitalia"
https://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/11/15/earlyshow/living/travel/main7055776.shtml
Obviously, you weigh the risks/benefits and talk to your doctor. Just wanting some other pregnant opinions.I will be sure to ask her at my next appointment on Thursday!
Aren't big boobs just the gift that keeps on giving? I've had the same experience. And I agree, the pat downs aren't all that invasive.
If you read this he refused to submit to the scan as well as a full pat down. They're going to need to check in places where you're going to hide things- in your bra, your pockets, underwear, etc. They aren't fondling you, they're checking for items that you're hiding. If you don't want to be touched you opt for the scan.
They've really tried to make this as noninvasive as possible while not compromising people's safety- you can have the scan or you can get pat down. But with people every day trying to get through security with god knows what on them you're going to have to give a little to get there safely. Or take a bus!
"First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back and then they do the rear."
"That's how they do pants!"
FTW!
The only thing I heard that they consider invasive is that they "cup" the boobs now instead of just wanding over them or patting on the side---which I'm fine with---it's more action than I've gotten in a while LOL--kidding. But whatever--it's their job and honestly, I could care less. Getting a pap is way more invasive.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Notes:
You know, it just really pisses me off that people get SO up in arms over the security measures in the airports. TSA and the airlines do what is necessary to avoid another 911. They tell you to arrive early, they tell you what their security measures are ahead of time ... they even give you OPTIONS as to which security measure works best for you (in this case).
If you feel like your 'civil liberties' are being encroached upon, take the effing bus. I don't want you on my plane anyway.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
Just went through on the other day. OB said that they are safe and I trust him, so I just went ahead and went through it.
I like when you get feisty.
I was just in O'Hare (the day of the FedEx bomb scare) and a woman was b!tching about security and she's asking me about how unfair I think it is (she's also got two carry-ons and a dog with her). I told her that to be quite honest it didn't bother me and that I actually wished they would tell people "no more carry-ons that aren't a necessity of life, sit in the damn chair, shut up, and thank us when you aren't blown out of the sky".
A-FREAKIN-MEN
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
I'm always amused that people freak out about the scanners but don't give flying a second thought. ?Interestingly, a commercial flight from New York to California is, in terms of radiation exposure, roughly equivalent to receiving a mammogram or three months average background radiation. ?I don't know how much radiation the scanners involve but would bet it's much less than that.
For those of you who say it is not invasive, have you flown in the past 2 weeks? TSA just changed the way they are doing things, so if you refuse the back scatter machine, as you should, you will be subjected to their new "enhanced" pat down. Where they used to run down the major parts of your body with the backs of their hands, they will now use the front of the hand, "cupping the breasts and crotch area" (remember the underwear bomber last Christmas).
To top off the radiation exposure, those machines DO show all the yummy details of your body, they just blur your face. There is no way I'm setting foot in one of those, and if I am molested by TSA I will get their name and their supervisors name and file a complaint.
So far 3 of the major pilot unions are making a stand against these machines. Some people are trying to promote Nov. 24th (the day before Thanksgiving and the busiest travel day of the year) as Opt Out Day, suggesting that everyone refuse the scanners.
Jesus Christ on a bike - have you ever been MOLESTED? Having your underwire checked/cupped by another woman wearing gloves and being supervised by others is NOT the same thing. And I will say it again, if you have issues with it - DON'T FLY.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
Kind of hard to do, as I am flight crew and have to deal with this BS everyday!
Well, then that's a hazard of the job then, isn't it? If your company doesn't have alternative measures in place for you to go through security, or be screened in a different way, you can always quit, and find another job that doesn't require you to be 'molested' every day.
And as PP said, you get exposed to TONS more radiation up in the air DURING THE FLIGHT than you do walking through one of those machines.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
Hey now - take it easy. It sounds like the main deterrent for Anyu is what the body scans show - not as much with the radiation, and how the pat-downs are much more "thorough" than in the past. She is entitled to her opinion, as are you. However - to say "don't fly" "take the bus" or "quit your job" isn't realistic for most people and sounds more like an attack. Just saying.
Having been raped in the past, yes, I do a find a pat down that includes light fondling of my breasts and crotch to be invasive! And keep in mind the TSA has already lied about those scanners - they had stated that they could not store images of the scan and it turns out, oh yes, they can. So you will have to excuse me if I won't believe they are safe without further independent study.
I'm a pretty modest person, but I have absolutely no problem having a pat down. If it means that the plane I'm on won't have a bomb on it, then they can do whatever they need to do. I've been patted down before at the airport and it really didn't bother me. I realize it just comes with the territory when you fly.
I've heard that they are thinking about exempting women in burkas from getting patted down. That is infuriating to me - not because they are Muslim, but because I don't understand what makes them so special. My religious views also require modesty, but I realize that in order to be a part of the world I sometimes have to do things I am not comfortable with. I don't fly much, but if they allow this exemption for a burka and I ever do fly I will refuse the pat down for religious reasons just on principle - because we can't make exceptions for certain people and not others. The irony of it all is amazing, isn't it?!
Of course it isn't realistic. Just like saying that she doesn't like either option presented and that the TSA are out to MOLEST her isn't realistic either. That was my point. The body scans are SUPPOSED to be thorough, thats the point. They're supposed to be able to show all parts of the body because those are the places that terrorists will strap explosives to. The pat does are supposed to be thorough and more invasive because those are the places that terrorists will strap explosives to.
Why do I feel like I'm the only one who 'gets' this. Again, if you don't like the rules, DON'T FLY. As for those who fly for a living, those are the breaks. And honestly, if I was spending that much time up in the air, on planes, I would want TSA making DAMN sure that the people getting on my plane DON'T have TNT taped to their breasts, or their scrotum.
Maybe thats just me though ...
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
That would piss me off too. It is pretty ironic because the extremists from the same religion (not trying to start a heated debate.... not all Muslims - extremists who identify themselves as Muslims- alright?) are the reason we have these extra precautions. Women in burkas should be frisked along with the rest of us, and told to "get over it or don't fly" just like the rest of us.
The problem with TSA is they try and deal with the problems after they happen. The have to see what's in your underwear now because of the underwear bomber. You have to take your shoes off now because of the shoe bomber. You can't bring liquids through because of the liquid bomb. ALL AFTER THE FACT!! TSA needs to find a way to be PRO active.
As for quitting my job, I actually am next year. More because my husband and I both can't have flying jobs and 2 kids, just not practical. It's easier for me because I am a flight attendant, but it is a seniority baed job and after 12 years it's hard to give all of that up. I was hired in '99 so these weren't the breaks I signed up for, and it only gets worse. My husband on the other hand is a pilot. It cost him $60,000 to become a pilot, on top of college, and he has been doing it for 14 years. So it's kind of like telling a doctor or lawyer to find another job. He is a pilot, that's what he does. Now he is subjected to the same screenings by TSA as everyone else, even though, he, like all crew members, have had extensive FBI background checks, post 9/11. After he clears security, he then controls and aircraft and does so with an ax behind his seat. A lot of pilots carry guns these days too, so where is the logic there? And as for the traveling public, like I said, they focus on problems that have already occurred. I'm not claiming I now how to fix it, but there is someone outthere that can. We can take some notes as to how EL AL does things, they know security.
-ADAMSWIFE- I'm 99% sure what you have heard is a false rumor. Everyone would fly in a burka if that were the case.....I would.
I haven't read any responses, so I apologize in advance.
I flew at 14 weeks and opted for the pat down. Two airports (one was O'Hare) and I was very please at both. The workers were overly nice to the point where they were too nice. They explained everything as they went along and I found it to be totally acceptable. Just my preference, but I won't be doing scans while pregnant.