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3rd Trimester
Evil MIL at hospital?
Anyone else not want their MIL at the hospital during delivery? This woman has been evil to both DH and I all yr, and I finally made peace with her 2 months ago because I was tired of fighting. She's been so nosey and doesn't even realize she's pushing it, asking questions like "have you lost your mucus plug, are you dialating?" I really loathe this woman and don't want her there. Nor do I feel like its her business what is happening during the birth. Bottom line, i don't want her there while I'm trying to give birth. What do I do?
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Re: Evil MIL at hospital?
You tell her you dont want her in there bottom line, its your call once baby is ready to come
Although by the time I went into labor I couldnt care less who was in there. I was adamate (sp?) about it only being DH and I, then when the time came MIL and my mom were more than welcome to stay.
Tell her that you don't want her there.
This is one instance when you can tell people to stay away and it doesn't matter what they think.
I wouldn't want my MIL around then either!
This. It's so easy. You can flat out tell her you don't want her. You can tell her that the hospital has a strict policy on visitors (tell her no visitors for the first 8 hours or something), or just don't tell her you are in the hospital till all is said and done.
Thankfully, neither set of parents live remotely close to us! A friend of mine said that she had her mom in the room for her first delivery and it was super uncomfortable for both of them. Her mom is very Christian and she was swearing so much - her mom didn't even KNOW some of the words that came out of my friend's mouth!
You can tell her she can't come. Or you can wait to have anyone call her until you are either about to deliver or after baby has already arrived. If nothing else, make sure the nursing staff know that your MIL is not welcome in the room until you or your DH give the NURSES the go-ahead. (That way, your MIL can't guilt you or your DH into letting her in!) Apparently, the nurses at the hospital here are really good at keeping people away if you say so! GL!
good thought!!! I will just tell the nurses that only my family is welcome before and after baby is here! Thanks!
Turn off his phone!
His focus should be on you and the baby, not on his phone, anyway!
I'm a very private person. My family can be funny and we laugh a lot, but we are not the type to say really personal things.
My MIL constantly says things that I find too personal and I do speak up. I won't answer if it's too personal a question. She finds this offensive, I find her offensive, so it's a wash, I guess.
In terms of who would be there to stare at my crotch - that would be me, DH and someone with a medical degree, only. It's not a party, it is a uniquely painful time.
I guess I'm terrible, but I don't even want her within 10 miles of the hospital. There will definately be no crotch staring by anyone other than the other person who made the baby, and the doc.
I hear you, I hear you. I'm there, too.
My MIL and SIL are evil twins joined at the hip (SIL is 28 and still lives at home). SIL just posted on FB asking me if I'd put the weird framed picture she gave me of her and MIL holding a pumpkin standing in front of a milk sign at a farmer's market up in DD's room. Even when they're not here, they're still annoying.
I try not to think about them. Think of it this way - giving birth may excuse you from Thanksgiving dinner with them and/or possibly Christmas (I'm hopeful that I may get both).
Tell the nurses. They have the ultimate say over who is allowed in L&D. At my hospital, you had to speak through an intercom and then get buzzed in, no randoms could make their way in and wonder the halls.
If you are on the outs with your partner, by law they aren't even allowed to disclose if you're even at the hospital. So if they can be that way towards the baby's father, then you bet they can be that way towards a MIL.
i agree ! you don't have to tell her when you go into labor!!
my goal is not tell anyone when i go into labor make my calls after the baby is born and we are both cleaned up
First, older people seem to have no filter when it comes to questions, lol.
If your mother is going to be their for their birth of her grandchild then your MIL should be as well (waiting room is fine). This after all is her grandchild, and she is the mother of your husband.
You do not have to have her physically in your room, she can wait in the waiting room. Talk to your husband about it and figure out a plan. You will be seeing much more of your MIL once LO is here so you need to find common ground or you are going to stress yourself out.
My MIL is an RN, which doesn't help my cause that I don't want her around during delivery.
I was hoping at birthing class they would only allow 2 people in the room with me, but they declared 3.
I think I am going to have it be DH and my mom as a back-up, in case I just need that little extra support. Everyone else can wait in the waiting room, or just come when the baby has arrived. Being its my first it could be hours before we have a baby and I don't want the pressure of a bunch of people in a room waiting for her debut. But if they want to wait it out it will be their choice, and they can do so in the waiting room.
Calmly tell your MIL that you do not wish her present in the room when you give birth. Then, be sure to let the hospital staff know exactly who you DO and DO NOT want in your room. They will enforce it and theres nothing MIL can do about it.
Best of luck to you!
The Dr. wont necessarily ask everyone to leave, at my hospital, as long as there are no complications and the Dr. has room to move, I can have as many in the room with me as I want. That being said, DH and I agree for delivery it will be My Mom, us and the Dr's. We are not even calling his family until the dirty work is done, I have showered, and we have rested.
A Frog, A Monkey and a Ladybug
I seriously don't understand why so many people put up with people like this just because they're related. You'd tell a friend who acted like that to FRO and think nothing of it... but because it's family they get a free pass.
Do you really want to expose your child to a toxic relationship so they see that as being normal and acceptable?
I totally agree with you. She lives 1.5 hrs away and my husband hasn't seen her in 5 months. She will not be a part in this child's life. Thats why I find it so irritating her trying to weezle her way in. I feel bad for my husband, because this is his mother, and its really sad she can't behave like a normal human being and be there for her son. I don't know what to do, i think i'm going to be the better person and let her wait outside... my mom and grandmother will keep her in her place for sure.