Co-sleeping question for you wonderful moms !

LitchfieldMom · November 2010

When you started co- sleeping did you have a hard time having LO nap by them selves ? I have let my 3 week old sleep with me the last two nights and he has slept in 4 hour blocks instead of 1-2 , so for now I want to continue it BUT I dont know how long my SO will let me and I dont know how hard its going to be to get him to sleep alone later on . Am I setting my self up for a disaster down the road ??? TIA

Kelly-renee · November 2010

Do whatever you need to do to make it through this time

Try letting your LO nap by themselves, eventually they will get big and push you away. Bedsharing only works if you and your SO are both okay with it, make sure you all talk about it, but your SO will probably enjoy the extra sleep right now.

webMistress0609 · November 2010

It's very normal for newborns to need someone to sleep with them. I know it's hard not to, but try not to worry about what might happen 3 weeks, 3 months, 8 months from now with sleep. You'll most likely have many ups & downs & doing whatever works to get everyone the most sleep is the key to success & sanity.

Ari was only able to sleep on my (or DHs) chest or facing us on his side for several weeks. He was able to nap by himself around 8-10 weeks of age, but would sleep longer if someone napped with him. He gradually built up to be able to sleep by himself as time went on. He was also able to start out the night in his co-sleeper or in our bed & sleep for 4-5 hours at least by himself by 3-4 months of age.

We still bedshare, but it's by choice. If DH & I need some couple time, Ari will start out the night in his own bed. Enjoy those newborn snuggles! I have so many happy memories of sleeping next to my little guy every night & waking up to his smiling face in the morning.

zomgpmngl · November 2010

Ditto PP on doing whatever you need to do right now. I'd say at least during the first six weeks its all about survival and doing whatever you can to get everyone as much sleep as possible. I read in Baby411 that you can't form any "habits" for the first 3 months, which also goes along with the Happiest Baby's 4th trimester theory.

We started bed-sharing when LO was less than two weeks old. He does have a hard time napping alone, but he has a really really hard time settling to sleep anyways. He naps well by himself if he is swaddled and in the swing on it's highest setting, or he takes a lot of naps in either the Moby or Ergo. Having the carrier makes all the difference in the world, because he can nap and I can putz around the house and pick up or whatever.

BelhurstBride · November 2010

What you do now isn't going to affect how LO sleeps in the future. DD was a decent sleeper until she was 3 months old. It wasn't anything we changed, she changed, as she will continue to drastically do so.

I would talk to your SO about his why he is against bedsharing and see if there's a way you could come to something you both are happy with.

Kestrel84 · November 2010

I've pretty much done what I had to do since day 1, which means bedsharing, wearing/holding him for an occasional nap. He's been all over the place with sleep from STTN, waking every 40 minutes, and now he's sleeping 3-4 hour long stretches as of a couple days a go. I've tried things here and there to "break habits" but I don't end up following through to where they actually make a difference and in the end, his sleep changes anyway. Long story short, I wouldn't worry about it. Do what you gotta do!

LitchfieldMom · November 2010

BelhurstBride:

What you do now isn't going to affect how LO sleeps in the future. DD was a decent sleeper until she was 3 months old. It wasn't anything we changed, she changed, as she will continue to drastically do so.

I would talk to your SO about his why he is against bedsharing and see if there's a way you could come to something you both are happy with.

I think he is just more afraid of me or him rolling over on him . Last night I slept with him on my side ( our crib is butted right up against the bed , so I put a pillow against it so he doesnt roll , but he cant fall out ) and faced him towards me . My SO didnt seem to mind this as much but is still afraid because he is so small right now . In my mind I dont think I could ever roll over him , I didnt move once last night with him there , and I woke up everytime he made a noise anyways .

LouiseB2001 · November 2010

LitchfieldMom:
BelhurstBride:

What you do now isn't going to affect how LO sleeps in the future. DD was a decent sleeper until she was 3 months old. It wasn't anything we changed, she changed, as she will continue to drastically do so.
I would talk to your SO about his why he is against bedsharing and see if there's a way you could come to something you both are happy with.
I think he is just more afraid of me or him rolling over on him . Last night I slept with him on my side ( our crib is butted right up against the bed , so I put a pillow against it so he doesnt roll , but he cant fall out ) and faced him towards me . My SO didnt seem to mind this as much but is still afraid because he is so small right now . In my mind I dont think I could ever roll over him , I didnt move once last night with him there , and I woke up everytime he made a noise anyways .

As the mom you are not going to roll over him. You are too alert and have instincts that prevents you from doing that. What I did was exactly the same, just put him on your side (and this tiny they don't roll off the bed but a pillow on the side can't hurt, just make sure he can't nudge up and under it). I lay with my arm above DD's head and her head down at chest level. Just watch out for big heavy blankets. DD has her own light duvet and I keep my duvet away from her.

Ditto pp, what you do now is not going to affect sleep habits in the future, in fact this will probably let you sleep better. I slept with DD on my chest for 1/2 the time until she was 3 months and got a bit to heavy. I still do this occasionally when she needs help sleeping (like wakes at 5 am and won't go back to sleep). She has no problem sleeping in her crib, but because she wakes so often I take her into our bed from 1 am and onwards for easy feeding. This really works for us.

jewishgirl · November 2010

I don't think you're setting yourself up for disaster My husband wasn't a huge fan of co-sleeping at first (his parents sent him to boarding school at age 5 1/2 - cruel. cruel.) But now we just love it. When we first had Simon (our 1st child), he wouldn't sleep unless he was with me, so that was that. When he got to be a year old he wouldn't nap unless he was with someone, which was HUGELY annoying at first because I'd have to stop working (luckily I work at home, though) to nap with him when he got cranky, but eventually I figured out that if I put him in the bed with some of my clothes, he could sleep because he could smell me. It also worked to let him sleep with his newborn brother David (and later Patrick), as long as I had a pillow between them so Simon couldn't roll over on him. And we have our bed right on the floor so rolling off wasn't a big deal. Now that Simon is 6, he still sleeps with us sometimes (with five of us, we had to make our own big custom sized bed), but usually he wants his own space so he'll go sleep in his own room, and is 5 year old brother David will go with him sometimes, but at age 4, Patrick still sleeps with Mum and Dad. Personally, my philosophy is just that you have to do what works to get them to sleep and try and get your SO on board as much as possible. "Whatever works" is my motto when it comes to the boys.

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