UO early because I know I'll forget

kimilane · November 2010

So, I never have "good" UOs, or if I do I always forget them by the time I get to my computer on Thursday. So here's mine early.

I think the moms that put their children in situations where they can fall down the stairs or fall off of beds have the same mentality of the teenagers that think AIDS/HIV and pregnancy "won't happen to them" if they don't use condoms.

Children need supervision. If you can't watch your child 100% of the time they're on your bed or near a set of stairs that don't have a gate on them, simply remove them from that situation. It only take a second of you not looking at them for them to fall off of something and possibly do serious damage.

I never agree with the other moms on here that post "Oh, it's okay! It's happened to all of us!" Sorry. It hasn't happened to my kid, and I don't think it ever will. I don't doubt my child will fall and hurt herself at some point, but it won't be off of a high surface because I wasn't watching her.

amandopolis · November 2010

Eh. I don't leave my kid on high surfaces unattended, but everyone has their moments when their brains turn off.

kimberleigh30 · November 2010

shoeboxx · November 2010

Well, I'll say, it does happen. No matter how much you try to protect your child. I'm glad it's never happened to your child, but that's an unfair statement. No one puts their child in danger on purpose. Today your child isn't rolling and you lay them in the middle of the bed with pillows all around them, tomorrow they are rolling and the pillows mean nothing.

mommyboots · November 2010

Forgive me... What does UO stand for? *blush*

kimilane · November 2010

shoeboxx:
Well, I'll say, it does happen. No matter how much you try to protect your child. I'm glad it's never happened to your child, but that's an unfair statement. No one puts their child in danger on purpose. Today your child isn't rolling and you lay them in the middle of the bed with pillows all around them, tomorrow they are rolling and the pillows mean nothing.

Of course it happens, and of course no one does it "on purpose." However, I'm pretty sure the same could be said of teens that don't use condoms. We all know it happens (including them) and no one does it to get pregnant or HIV/AIDS on purpose. It's called being safe for a reason.

PrincessShay80 · November 2010

I think there are situations that you can avoid- don't pur your child on the bed and walk out of the room, but you cannot avoid everything. DD is so wiggly when trying to get her dressed- she could very easily roll hard enough to get away from me. I can't change her on the floor- that it harder for me and she is less wiggly on her changing table- but I'm not the hulk- I don't have superhuman strength. She could get away from me, when I reach for the diaper or something, even though I still have one hand on her.

DD moves so fast- that sometimes I am not always right there. What are you going to do when your child is old enough and is out there driving around without you? You cannot control every situation.

kimberleigh30 · November 2010

kimilane:

shoeboxx:
Well, I'll say, it does happen. No matter how much you try to protect your child. I'm glad it's never happened to your child, but that's an unfair statement. No one puts their child in danger on purpose. Today your child isn't rolling and you lay them in the middle of the bed with pillows all around them, tomorrow they are rolling and the pillows mean nothing.

Of course it happens, and of course no one does it "on purpose." However, I'm pretty sure the same could be said of teens that don't use condoms. We all know it happens (including them) and no one does it to get pregnant or HIV/AIDS on purpose. It's called being safe for a reason.

It's called an ACCIDENT for a reason also.

StephNJer · November 2010

Actually, condoms aren't 100%, so it STILL could happen.

Just like how when my DD was two years old, she was sitting right next to me and fell backward off our couch. I was not fast enough to catch her and she fell and broke her arm. I was RIGHT THERE, and it still happened. Doesn't mean I wasn't being a "good supervisor"

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2010

My DS fell off the bed WHILE I was supervising him. One time he lunged forward unexpectedly. Another time he was in bed sitting near me. I leaned over to get a book to read to him off of our nightstand and he fell off. He moves really fast.

diana.filipi · November 2010

So....it's never happened to your kid and you don't think it ever will. Well, your kid is pretty damned young. What if you let your kid go bike riding when they're older and they fall and break something, or you let your 4 year old help set the table and they fall and poke themselves with the fork.... accidents really do happen to good people.

You sound very holier than thou.

kimilane · November 2010

PrincessShay80:

What are you going to do when your child is old enough and is out there driving around without you? You cannot control every situation.

You're right. I said that in my OP. I don't plan on being a helicopter mom and certainly once my daughter is old enough to understand the dangers that exist in situations, she'll be on her own. However, when a child is young enough that they don't understand that 2 objects are on a different level and falling from a higher object will hurt her, it's my job to keep her from those situations.

StephNJer:
Actually, condoms aren't 100%, so it STILL could happen.

Just like how when my DD was two years old, she was sitting right next to me and fell backward off our couch. I was not fast enough to catch her and she fell and broke her arm. I was RIGHT THERE, and it still happened. Doesn't mean I wasn't being a "good supervisor"

This is a different situation than what I'm talking about. Your daughter was 2 years old. In that case, it would have been wonderful if you'd have been able to catch her, but I understand that you weren't.

What I'm talking about it parents that take their child upstairs, don't have a gate on their stairs, don't close their mobile child into a baby proofed room, and just assume their child won't make it to the stairs if they don't look for a split second. Or the parent that puts their child up on their bed and takes a hand off of them for a second to do something else (aka: diverts their attention for a second).

Maybe I should have said "infant." Again, I understand accidents happen. It's just my UO that if you put your infant on a bed and don't watch them 100% of the time or you carry your infant upstairs and your stairs aren't gated and you don't watch them 100% of the time, it's not then qualified as an "accident."

kimberleigh30 · November 2010

I love how you are comparing a baby bumping it's head to someone contracting a life threatening disease. You amaze me.

elyshaswedding · November 2010

kimilane:

PrincessShay80:

What are you going to do when your child is old enough and is out there driving around without you? You cannot control every situation.

You're right. I said that in my OP. I don't plan on being a helicopter mom and certainly once my daughter is old enough to understand the dangers that exist in situations, she'll be on her own. However, when a child is young enough that they don't understand that 2 objects are on a different level and falling from a higher object will hurt her, it's my job to keep her from those situations.

StephNJer:

Actually, condoms aren't 100%, so it STILL could happen.

Just like how when my DD was two years old, she was sitting right next to me and fell backward off our couch. I was not fast enough to catch her and she fell and broke her arm. I was RIGHT THERE, and it still happened. Doesn't mean I wasn't being a "good supervisor"

This is a different situation than what I'm talking about. Your daughter was 2 years old. In that case, it would have been wonderful if you'd have been able to catch her, but I understand that you weren't.

What I'm talking about it parents that take their child upstairs, don't have a gate on their stairs, don't close their mobile child into a baby proofed room, and just assume their child won't make it to the stairs if they don't look for a split second. Or the parent that puts their child up on their bed and takes a hand off of them for a second to do something else (aka: diverts their attention for a second).

Maybe I should have said "infant." Again, I understand accidents happen. It's just my UO that if you put your infant on a bed and don't watch them 100% of the time or you carry your infant upstairs and your stairs aren't gated and you don't watch them 100% of the time, it's not then qualified as an "accident."

This all sounds like more of a Callout than a UO. And if you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

kimilane · November 2010

diana.filipi:
So....it's never happened to your kid and you don't think it ever will. Well, your kid is pretty damned young. What if you let your kid go bike riding when they're older and they fall and break something, or you let your 4 year old help set the table and they fall and poke themselves with the fork.... accidents really do happen to good people.
You sound very holier than though.

No. My issue comes when it's the parents that have put the child into the situation. If the child is old enough and big enough to 1) put themselves into that position/situation and 2) knows and understands the possible consequences of their actions...then it's an accident. However, with my daughter's age I'M the one that puts her on the bed and I'M the one that takes her upstairs so therefore it's MY responsibility to watch her 100% of the time she's in those situations. My daughter isn't old enough to understand "what goes up must come down." When she's old enough to ride a bike, balance on curbs, handle objects that she could poke herself with, I know accidents will happen. However, those situations won't come up until she's old enough to understand what kind of consequences come from what actions.

kimilane · November 2010

elyshaswedding:
This all sounds like more of a Callout than a UO. And if you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

Not a callout since I don't really remember any one parent or even a handful of parents that mention this happening to their children. I just know it happens a lot on here and I think about it every time I read posts on it.

I consider it poor parental supervision.

diana.filipi · November 2010

How mean - this really is a callout more than an UO. You're really talking about the baby that just got a leg cast from falling down the stairs. Rude is what you are. And the question above was a good one. If you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

babygirlcc · November 2010

That's great it has never happened to your child but believe me it will. It may not be a fall down the stairs or from the bed but accidents happen. The best thing to do is learn from the situation and change to lessen the chances of it happening again. I'm not wishing anything bad to your LO but whenever the moment comes I sincerely hope you feel like sh!t! That will teach you not to judge other people when they have moments like this

kimilane · November 2010

kimberleigh30:
I love how you are comparing a baby bumping it's head to someone contracting a life threatening disease. You amaze me.

If you have sex without a condom, you're taking a chance that you won't contract a life-threatening disease and that you won't get pregnant. If you put your child on the bed and divert your attention, you're taking a chance that s/he won't fall off and hurt themselves in such a way that their life either changes significantly or ends. Sure, most falls from the bed end in bump and/or bruises but it is possible that your child could permanently hurt themselves or could die from it. Same case with a fall down the stairs. They seem very similar to me.

darlinghusband · November 2010

I believe you meant infant. If that is the case, you are absolutely right and it is sad it is a UO. I cannot see how anyone can empathize or seek empathy for neglectful actions considering that a mother is supposed to protect 'us' collectively until we can do for ourselves. That does not equate to riding a bicycle unless you actively play a part in their getting hurt. (buying the bike is passively). It is your part to teach them how to ride it, but infants don't really get to learn to 'not fall down stairs' or 'not fall off a bed'.

I agree in the most part with the Op though. I can't sympathize with anyone who lets an infant hurt themselves.

The two year old.... I can go either way. I feel personally I would not put that entirely on the parent the moment the child learns to get on the sofa alone and get off alone. If you take a header onto the floor, and I couldn't catch ya, it was your fault. I would say it is more or less a judgment call if they have earned to not sit 'right next' to me.

Accidents do happen though. Accidents can even happen to babies/infants. I can't empathize when the parent could have prevented it.

kimilane · November 2010

diana.filipi:
How mean - this really is a callout more than an UO. You're really talking about the baby that just got a leg cast from falling down the stairs. Rude is what you are. And the question above was a good one. If you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

Yes, she would fall into this category, but it's not just about her. I've posted on an older post where a mom mentioned her baby fell off the bed and everyone was saying "oh, it's happened to all of us!" I had to bring up that it hasn't happened to Frankie because I just don't put her in those kinds of situations.

A lot of moms do it, and I just don't understand it.

darlinghusband · November 2010

kimberleigh30:
I love how you are comparing a baby bumping it's head to someone contracting a life threatening disease. You amaze me.

What is amazing is you missed the point of accountability. A parent is accountable to a child like a teen (in this case) is accountable for their unprotected sex.

I can't (and the op) can't empathize with 'accidental' in either case. If someone comes on and says I caught aids/got pregnant and it was due to not using protection, noone goes, 'oh it happens'.

Like a baby that falls off a bed, or down 14 stairs. 'Oh it happens is NOT something any of us can logically 'be ok with'.

darlinghusband · November 2010

elyshaswedding:
kimilane:

This all sounds like more of a Callout than a UO. And if you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

Legally, if it starts a pattern, it is called neglect. And somewhere, somehow, people are empathizing with them.

emilie01 · November 2010

kimilane:

diana.filipi:
How mean - this really is a callout more than an UO. You're really talking about the baby that just got a leg cast from falling down the stairs. Rude is what you are. And the question above was a good one. If you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

Yes, she would fall into this category, but it's not just about her. I've posted on an older post where a mom mentioned her baby fell off the bed and everyone was saying "oh, it's happened to all of us!" I had to bring up that it hasn't happened to Frankie because I just don't put her in those kinds of situations.

A lot of moms do it, and I just don't understand it.

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

darlinghusband · November 2010

babygirlcc:
That's great it has never happened to your child but believe me it will. It may not be a fall down the stairs or from the bed but accidents happen. The best thing to do is learn from the situation and change to lessen the chances of it happening again. I'm not wishing anything bad to your LO but whenever the moment comes I sincerely hope you feel like sh!t! That will teach you not to judge other people when they have moments like this

My guess is that the person wanting empathy by posting their situation on this board was feeling bad too. The difference of 'if' it happens to the OP is that they won't post it or expect anyone to go 'awwww, poor you, it happens to us all.

Wanna see a change in heart from the naysayers or grumps on this subject, lets see a show of hands of those who think it isn't neglect to let an infant slip out of sight and fall off a bed or down a flight or two of stairs.

Anyone?

(I get the empathy for someone who may be truly sorry that their child got away from them, but to want sympathy is a far reach when you are amidst others who cannot conceive letting their little ones out of their sights. The SAHM's should be the first to say, WTF, you let them fall down stairs? Ever heard of a baby gate? An infant? Really?)

darlinghusband · November 2010

diana.filipi:
How mean - this really is a callout more than an UO. You're really talking about the baby that just got a leg cast from falling down the stairs. Rude is what you are. And the question above was a good one. If you don't consider it an accident, what DO you consider it?

Neglect. If it is a pattern, the hospital will to. Then DFACS.

kimilane · November 2010

emilie01:
I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

shoeboxx · November 2010

kimilane:

shoeboxx:
Well, I'll say, it does happen. No matter how much you try to protect your child. I'm glad it's never happened to your child, but that's an unfair statement. No one puts their child in danger on purpose. Today your child isn't rolling and you lay them in the middle of the bed with pillows all around them, tomorrow they are rolling and the pillows mean nothing.

Of course it happens, and of course no one does it "on purpose." However, I'm pretty sure the same could be said of teens that don't use condoms. We all know it happens (including them) and no one does it to get pregnant or HIV/AIDS on purpose. It's called being safe for a reason.

I'm not one to go back and forth, but I'll say this, you live in a perfect world, good luck with that. I'm glad your child will never fall while under your supervision. Your get a huge Confused from me!

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2010

kimilane:
emilie01:

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

darlinghusband · November 2010

emilie01:
I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

Your editing with quotes is off.

Either way... an accident to shoot and murder someone; it is still called manslaughter. If I can show you knew the gun was loaded and youpulled the trigger even with no intent, you still go to jail.

Due to neglect for the others saftey.

biochemgirl · November 2010

Look I agree that i would not leave my daughter on the bed or by the top of stairs but this is obviously a call out. The poster from yesterday was obviously beside herself, felt like *** and I'm sure learned a very tough lesson and that this will never happen again. Why go and call her out? it's so unecessary. I'm sure she's not thinking boy that was fun let me try it again and see what happens. And to bring up neglect and DYFS? give me a freaking break.

darlinghusband · November 2010

KC_13:
You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

I get it. I think that the moment you let an infant fall down stairs or off a bed, it is beyond a bump or bruise. AND, where was a baby gate on the top of the stairs. (functional)

biochemgirl · November 2010

darlinghusband:
KC_13:

You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

I get it. I think that the moment you let an infant fall down stairs or off a bed, it is beyond a bump or bruise. AND, where was a baby gate on the top of the stairs. (functional)

Do you even have a kid yet?

kimilane · November 2010

KC_13:
kimilane:
emilie01:

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

Well now there's an assumption for ya! She's cruising. She's been crawling since mid-August and pulling to a stand since July (maybe?). Frankie is very active and very mobile. I just watch her constantly unless I know she's in a 100% safe environment. There are only 2 places in my house that I consider 100% safe, btw. Her crib is one and in the den downstairs. Our den is connected to the kitchen/eating area so once she passes the end of the couch, I make sure my eyes are on her the.whole.time.

MSUMamaof2 · November 2010

kimilane:
KC_13:
kimilane:
emilie01:

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.
Well now there's an assumption for ya! She's cruising. She's been crawling since mid-August and pulling to a stand since July (maybe?). Frankie is very active and very mobile. I just watch her constantly unless I know she's in a 100% safe environment. There are only 2 places in my house that I consider 100% safe, btw. Her crib is one and in the den downstairs. Our den is connected to the kitchen/eating area so once she passes the end of the couch, I make sure my eyes are on her the.whole.time.

Umm, yeah. Have a good time with that when you're dealing with your 2u2.

(devil laughter) Devil

biochemgirl · November 2010

kimilane:
KC_13:
kimilane:
emilie01:

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

Well now there's an assumption for ya! She's cruising. She's been crawling since mid-August and pulling to a stand since July (maybe?). Frankie is very active and very mobile. I just watch her constantly unless I know she's in a 100% safe environment. There are only 2 places in my house that I consider 100% safe, btw. Her crib is one and in the den downstairs. Our den is connected to the kitchen/eating area so once she passes the end of the couch, I make sure my eyes are on her the.whole.time.

I also consider our living room to be babyproofed. last night S was standing and holding on a railing by the gated stairs. she went to sit down and hit her head on the bottom of the railing so she could "chase" me around the living room. My back was turned for about 2 seconds when this happened. So I guess since that area is baby-proofed this was just an accident even though I had my back turned?

emilie01 · November 2010

kimilane:
emilie01:

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

Ok, but what about unintended? No mother (myself included) intentionally puts their child on a high surface to fall. You rubbed me the wrong way by grouping myself (and other mothers on this board) who have had a child fall by accident, along with irresponsible, horney teenagers that have unprotected sex. Good luck with your miracles, gotta work.

darlinghusband · November 2010

KC_13:
You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

I get it. I think that the moment you let an infant fall down stairs or off a bed, it is beyond a bump or bruise. AND, where was a baby gate on the top of the stairs. (functional)

jmrussell03 · November 2010

:::Takes off Perfect Mommy crown and passes to OP::: DS fell off the couch while DH was reading him a book. DS lunged for the book when DH reached to answer the phone. How neglectful of us! I don't think any mother on here intentionally would do anything to harm her child. And it doesn't hurt to ease some mommy guilt by telling someone "it happens to all of us."

Culkinator54 · November 2010

biochemgirl:

Look I agree that i would not leave my daughter on the bed or by the top of stairs but this is obviously a call out. The poster from yesterday was obviously beside herself, felt like *** and I'm sure learned a very tough lesson and that this will never happen again. Why go and call her out? it's so unecessary. I'm sure she's not thinking boy that was fun let me try it again and see what happens. And to bring up neglect and DYFS? give me a freaking break.

Clearly I missed something ....

shoeboxx · November 2010

MSUMamaof2:
kimilane:
KC_13:
kimilane:
emilie01:

I don't understand at this point how you don't know what the word accident means.

"An accident is a specific, unexpected, unusual and unintended external action which occurs in a particular time and place, with no apparent and deliberate cause but with marked effects." (From Wikipedia)

The reason I don't find them accidents is the whole "unexpected" part. If you put a mobile baby on a bed...expect them to crawl around and possibly off of the bed. If you carry a mobile baby upstairs and the stairs aren't gated off....expect them to possibly go to the stairs. It's that simple to me. Frankie is 10.5 months old and has yet to fall from any high surface. I guess either I have a good point or it's a miracle.

You just don't have a very strong or very mobile baby yet because kids get bumps and bruises while parents are supervising them.

Well now there's an assumption for ya! She's cruising. She's been crawling since mid-August and pulling to a stand since July (maybe?). Frankie is very active and very mobile. I just watch her constantly unless I know she's in a 100% safe environment. There are only 2 places in my house that I consider 100% safe, btw. Her crib is one and in the den downstairs. Our den is connected to the kitchen/eating area so once she passes the end of the couch, I make sure my eyes are on her the.whole.time.

Umm, yeah. Have a good time with that when you're dealing with your 2u2.

(devil laughter)

As much as this pains me, I agree with MSU 100% I didn't read the post from yesterday, but you seriously need to step off your high horse that's on top of your soap box! Her crib is safe until you hear a thump because she's climbed out of her crib and hit the floor!

I don't let post get to me, but you are suggesting you're the best f'n mom and rest of us just sit back and let our babies do whatever! I hope your LO never falls, I truly do! Your words will taste like cow SH!T if it ever happens!!!!!

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