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So sick of the "I'm pregnant" excuse.

gosse1kmgosse1km
in Blended Families

Sorry, but I have to vent on this one.

Most of the women on here have been through a pregnancy with other children at home, both step and bio. Being pregnant is NOT an excuse to flip out on your other kids! I'm so sick of women coming on here (not just Blended, but other boards) talking about being total asshats to their kids, for pretty much normal kid stuff, and then acting like they have a free pass because they got KTFU. IMO, it's even worse when you talk about treating a SK like crap while you are pregnant. You think they aren't all full of emotional turmoil with another baby coming along to "replace" them? Get over yourself! You are the adult, you have the ability to control your actions. If you feel out of control then put yourself in timeout before you say/do something really hurtful that you may not be able to take back. Blaming it on your pregnancy is like blaming it on PMS, or stress at work, or problems in your relationship, or getting cut in line at the grocery store. It's bullshiit. If your kid had a bad day at school, came home and started throwing a fit because he didn't like the peas you made for dinner, HE sure as heck wouldn't get a free pass. Or is your daughter was PMSing and decided to call you a biitch for not washing her favorite shirt, SHE wouldn't be able to say, "it's just hormones".  

Uhg. And this isn't specifically directed at the poster below. I visit a lot of the boards and this is something I've been seeing more and more of lately. It seems so many women on here (The bump) have jumped on the, "It's ok, you're pregnant, don't feel bad" bandwagon that I just want to reach through the computer and slap the crap out of someone. 

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Re: So sick of the "I'm pregnant" excuse.

  • Mrslove78Mrslove78 member

    I only read the start of your post...  but, why would someone be bad to anyone just because they are pregnant!?  That's just wrong.

    I should add, I'm VERY pregnant, and love my baby boy so much!  I'd never think of being anything but kind to him, he deserves the best. 

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  • Erin0922Erin0922 member

    I was going to respond nicely, but I'm pregnant. So, RAWR.

    Angel

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  • gosse1kmgosse1km
    imageErin0922:

    I was going to respond nicely, but I'm pregnant. So, RAWR.

    Angel

    This made me LOL :)

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  • SaranSaran member

    I'm so sick of women trying to front like they are PERFECT mothers and never screw up. As a SAHM of 5, I have no problem saying that I'm not perfect and have lost my temper with my children for whatever reason.

    Now I haven't used the "I'm pregnant" excuse but I surely have lost my temper and yelled because I'm stressed, bad day, or they are just off the hook! EVERY mother, at one time in her life, WILL lose their temper and yell at their kids for whatever reason. The great thing is that we can apologize to our kids for yelling and move on.

    So I don't know what your excuse is for going off on other mothers, but get a grip. Mothers are not PERFECT and already beat themselves up for not being perfect to their kids, so leave em alone.

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  • SaranSaran member
    BTW- my excuse for going off is not cause I'm pregnant but because my kids are off the hook today and I'm having a bad day. Big Smile
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  • amiek07amiek07
    I've never been pregnant, but BM uses the excuse that she was not feeling good or tired when rude to DH.  I want to just look at her and say "If I was mean every time I hurt or was tired I'd be mean 24/7" (I have a genetic bone disorder that causes sheets of bone to grow over muscles and joints)  To me, when it comes to children or other adults you need to talk to then you just suck up whatever is wrong and talk nicely.  
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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member

    Some women don't realize they are only doing themselves a disfavor by totally losing their sh*t when things go wrong.  They overreact so badly to every little bad behavior their kid displays, then seem shocked when their kids throw similar temper tantrums over every little thing or name call or say "I hate you" when all the kid is doing is mirroring the reactions they've seen.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • SaranSaran member
    So I'm not sure if OP is talking about cronic abusers to their children who verbally abuse their kids regularly or a mother who has yelled a time or two. If the latter, then I think I will lose it if a bunch of mothers come on here, get on their soap box and LIE through their teeth making everyone believe they have never had a bad day and yelled at their kids. I will vomit in my mouth cause I can't stand liars or people putting on a front.
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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member

    imageSaran:
    So I'm not sure if OP is talking about cronic abusers to their children who verbally abuse their kids regularly or a mother who has yelled a time or two. If the latter, then I think I will lose it if a bunch of mothers come on here, get on their soap box and LIE through their teeth making everyone believe they have never had a bad day and yelled at their kids. I will vomit in my mouth cause I can't stand liars or people putting on a front.

    I don't think either.  I don't think the women she's talking about are abusive, just over dramatic.  She's talking about women who overreact, then excuse their behavior, all while trying to hold kids accountable to a ridiculously high standard of behavior that they themselves fail to meet.  It's the hypocrisy of the situation that gets me.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • hopankahopanka member
    Amen, OP!
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  • SaranSaran member
    imageJ&A2008:

    imageSaran:
    So I'm not sure if OP is talking about cronic abusers to their children who verbally abuse their kids regularly or a mother who has yelled a time or two. If the latter, then I think I will lose it if a bunch of mothers come on here, get on their soap box and LIE through their teeth making everyone believe they have never had a bad day and yelled at their kids. I will vomit in my mouth cause I can't stand liars or people putting on a front.

    I don't think either.  I don't think the women she's talking about are abusive, just over dramatic.  She's talking about women who overreact, then excuse their behavior, all while trying to hold kids accountable to a ridiculously high standard of behavior that they themselves fail to meet.  It's the hypocrisy of the situation that gets me.

    This I understand. Big Smile

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  • gosse1kmgosse1km
    imageJ&A2008:

    imageSaran:
    So I'm not sure if OP is talking about cronic abusers to their children who verbally abuse their kids regularly or a mother who has yelled a time or two. If the latter, then I think I will lose it if a bunch of mothers come on here, get on their soap box and LIE through their teeth making everyone believe they have never had a bad day and yelled at their kids. I will vomit in my mouth cause I can't stand liars or people putting on a front.

    I don't think either.  I don't think the women she's talking about are abusive, just over dramatic.  She's talking about women who overreact, then excuse their behavior, all while trying to hold kids accountable to a ridiculously high standard of behavior that they themselves fail to meet.  It's the hypocrisy of the situation that gets me.

    Thanks J&A, that's pretty much exactly what I was trying to say :)

    Oh, and FWIW, there is no such thing as the "perfect" mother. Things get overwhelming and every single person, not just moms, lose their cool occasionally, but like J said, it's those moms that lose it on a regular basis, act like they had all the right in the world to act a fool just because they're hormonal, then talk about grounding their kid for two weeks for not saying please and thank you every.single.time. 

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  • McNurseyMcNursey
    You're preaching to the choir gosse. Amen!
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  • jpowell3jpowell3
    I agree. I've never started sobbing at the drop of a hat or stormed off in an angry fit when I was pregnant(or otherwise). Why? Because I have good self control, too bad I can't teach it to others.
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