Anyone considering using family DS?

Yolanbo9 · November 2010

My DH just came to me today and said he wanted to talk about using DS. He said he would want to use his biological fathers sperm.

Here's a little backround......His mom got pregnant when she was 18 and married his father but they divorced within 1 year of marriage. His mother had remarried and had 3 more boys with my dh's stepfather. Dh has no full blood brothers therefore would rather use his father. His half brothers are all blond hair and blue or green eyes because of his stepfather. That's the main reason he wouldn't want to use his brothers.

Anyone have any opinions good or bad? Anyone else going through this? I feel like I should let him decide beacuse regardless the child would have my genes so he should be able to decide?

The next issue would be aho we would tell and who we wouldn't...... any thoughts?

njohnson1972 · November 2010

My situation is different because we are considering DE. But I do think that is important that you give your DH most of the decision making because like you said, he is the one losing part of the genetic link and he needs to feel good about the decision. The best thing my DH did was say that he would do whatever it was I needed to do to feel good about doing DE.

Good luck!

Yellow_Daisy · November 2010

My DH doesn't have any biological brothers and honestly using a known donor was never something we considered. We didn't want the complications that come with a known donor. I am fairly certain that one of the azoo ladies is using a known donor, unfortunately I can't recall who.

A known donor, just like an anonymous one, would have to go through all the screening. Blood work, I think a psych eval and quarantine. At least that is what I have read. So be prepared that it will take time quarantine alone is generally 6 mos with scheduled b/w throughout the quarantine period.

Yolanbo9 · November 2010

Yellow_Daisy:

My DH doesn't have any biological brothers and honestly using a known donor was never something we considered. We didn't want the complications that come with a known donor. I am fairly certain that one of the azoo ladies is using a known donor, unfortunately I can't recall who.

A known donor, just like an anonymous one, would have to go through all the screening. Blood work, I think a psych eval and quarantine. At least that is what I have read. So be prepared that it will take time quarantine alone is generally 6 mos with scheduled b/w throughout the quarantine period.

What is qaurantine?

tumble · November 2010

Don't really have advice, just wanted to let you know thats a big decision and hope you find comfort with whatever you decide.

SLPMel · November 2010

We had thought about using a Known Donor-not necessarily a family member, but a friend. We have decided that the quarantine was not worth it-along with the cost, and not having any guarantee that a pregnancy would occur.

We have decided to use Donor Sperm and just look to match eye color, hair color, skin tone, and blood type. Based on those, we'll do a photo matching to my DH and choose someone who has a proven record of pregnancies.

I do know that your doctor can ask for less than 6 months-but I think 3 months is the minimum.

I know it is so hard. Good luck!

Yellow_Daisy · November 2010

Yolanbo9:
Yellow_Daisy:

My DH doesn't have any biological brothers and honestly using a known donor was never something we considered. We didn't want the complications that come with a known donor. I am fairly certain that one of the azoo ladies is using a known donor, unfortunately I can't recall who.

A known donor, just like an anonymous one, would have to go through all the screening. Blood work, I think a psych eval and quarantine. At least that is what I have read. So be prepared that it will take time quarantine alone is generally 6 mos with scheduled b/w throughout the quarantine period.

What is qaurantine?

When a donor, anonymous or known, gives a donation the sperm is put into holding or quarantine for 6 mos. During that 6 mos period the donor is required to come in multiple times for b/w. If all the b/w passes muster at the end of 6 mos the sperm is released from quarantine and then you can use it, if you were using a cryobank at this point you would be able to buy it. If the b/w shows some kind of infection/disease or abnormality they may not allow you to use it at all, it would depend on what shows up.

This is on top of any initial b/w or physical screenings they do at onset. The screening process for anonymous donors is vigorous which is why only 10% of the people who try to become donors are chosen at the big cryobanks. I am not certain if the screening process is as vigorous for known donors, but there are key parts that are the same such as the quarantine period while screening for diseases/infections/etc over time.

theworms · November 2010

no, we chose not to. dh has 6 brothers and we both preferred using anonymous ds.

as mentioned above, the donor would have to go through psychological evaluation, do all necessary b/w and testing and the sperm would be quarantined for at least 6 months.

if you are thinking of moving forward sooner then i would rec. talking about the wait and also, many men's sperm are affected by age and environmental factors and his father my not be a viable option (or may not want to go through the whole process).

GL cutie

Yolanbo9 · November 2010

Well, he is going to talk to his father. His father is 48 so I don't think his age would be an issue. I will check into the process though. I never thought of what screening his father would have to go through. Who do I talk to? My RE's office?

Yellow_Daisy · November 2010

Yolanbo9:
Well, he is going to talk to his father. His father is 48 so I don't think his age would be an issue. I will check into the process though. I never thought of what screening his father would have to go through. Who do I talk to? My RE's office?

GL! I imagine your RE could point you in the right direction and would have a good idea of what your FIL would need to do to become a donor.

theworms · November 2010

Yellow_Daisy:

Yolanbo9:
Well, he is going to talk to his father. His father is 48 so I don't think his age would be an issue. I will check into the process though. I never thought of what screening his father would have to go through. Who do I talk to? My RE's office?

GL! I imagine your RE could point you in the right direction and would have a good idea of what your FIL would need to do to become a donor.

i think RE could point you in right direction.

you may want to check out some cryobank websites and do some research on using known donors

kdussault · November 2010

not entirely the same, but we are using a known egg donor and she has to go through the whole process of psychological testing, individual counseling (her and us) as well as group counseling with her, her DH, me and my DH). we also need to discuss it with a lawyer familiar with fertility law to make sure no legal issues come up down the road. your REs third party reproduction team should be able to give you all the I do you need. I hope you are able to come to the decision that is right for you so you can move forward as soon as possible. good luck!

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