Bad Kids.. (LONG)

JesseKhloe&Me · November 2010

Do you think that kids under 5 are really bad when they do things that are wrong or do you think they are acting out because of a situation (bad parenting, jealousy, abuse, neglect, etc..)

I beleive that when they get to a certain age or maturity, they know the difference. But what do you think before the age of 5?

(Aside from the terrible two's, doing something once and learning from it, and testing boundaries.)

Example:

Do you think a 3 year old for instance that pulls hair, paints the entire bathroom with tooth paste or rips her brothers school pictures in half and then does a number of things the next hour, day, minute after hearing that it is wrong from an adult is bad?

Do you thank a 2 year old that gives his 4 year old brother a black eye by hitting him with a toy truck, throws something at the lady in front of you in line at the grocery store and takes off his diaper to pee in the living room even though he has been told that all of these things are wrong before is bad?

Do you think a 3 year old child at the playground that flips your son off, throws sand at your daughter and says bad words to you when you ask him not to do those things is bad, or do you feel sorry for him and his up bringing and pray that he gets a better chance at life?

Just curious as to how other moms see it? Sometimes in the moment I think things like, "I dont want that little brat anywhere near my child, he needs a good spanking." Then later I really think about where the child learned that behavior or why he might be acting out and all I do is feel sorry for them.

sharrow · November 2010

Having spent years on the board of a children's charity, I can say that I have found that most kids, under five, over five, whatever, are not bad. In fact, I hate that label "bad".

99% of the time a child's behavior is a product of their environment. Nurture, not nature.

choltbaby · November 2010

I am a teacher and there are VERY few instances were I would say the child is bad. I never say never, but I believe a lot of things people see as "behavior problems" stem from environment or something else (undiagnosed learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD, etc.). These things are beyond the child's control. No. I would not say they are bad.

oboechick7 · November 2010

I used to think the kids were just bad... until I started teaching. Now it amazes me that 90% of the time when there is something amiss in a student it can be traced back to a problem at home.

penguingrrl · November 2010

I would never think that a child is "bad." If a young child is displaying that behavior and doesn't have a parent around correcting them I worry for that child, but I never think the word "bad" about a child, ever. Even in terms of a child showing poor behavior, I always say that a behavior is "naughty" not "bad," and judge the behavior, not the person committing it. But then, even when an adult acts in a way I disagree with I wonder what's wrong with them rather than judging that they're a bad person.

macchiatto · November 2010

sharrow:
99% of the time a child's behavior is a product of their environment. Nurture, not nature.

Then how do you explain kids in the same family who act totally different from each other? (Very evident to me as I watch my twins--being raised not just in the same household but going through the same ages and stages at the same time--and their behavior and the way they respond to things is dramatically different from each other.) I think you're hard-pressed to find a lot of evidence for "virtually all nature" or "virtually all nurture." I think both are critical.

That said, I still wouldn't label a young child as "bad" and I do think there are often environmental factors at play. But some kids are naturally more high-energy, have a harder time with impulse control, have stronger personalities and are more drawn to testing the boundaries, etc. That doesn't make them "bad" per se but might seem that way to other people. All kids have natural tendencies and preferences that are going to come out from a young age.

Mrs.Hizzo · November 2010

For all the stuff you mentioned, I don't see the kids as bad. I give a major side-eye to the parents, though.

wall0307 · November 2010

oboechick7:
I used to think the kids were just bad... until I started teaching. Now it amazes me that 90% of the time when there is something amiss in a student it can be traced back to a problem at home.

I agree, and I teach high school. Most students live up up to the expectations of their parents. I am rarely suprised when I meet my students' parents.

Want a personalized experience?

Bad Kids.. (LONG)

Re: Bad Kids.. (LONG)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards