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January 2011 Moms
darlene'smommy
member
I feel bad for taking holidays away from dd
darlene'smommy
member
We were planning on going to our family this year as long as my doctor was ok with it. Because im 37 weeks he wants to check me and if anything is going on he wont ok the trip. Its a 2 hr drive there we would stay over night Christmas eve then drive home Christmas day after dinner. Well with dd I told dh at this point its to hard for me to do the ride. Im really sore once we get there and just really dont feel like chasing dd, having to go to 4-5 houses in 2 days then dealing with dd at night since she does not sleep very well and it takes us forever to get her to sleep. I just dont feel like I really want to do all that with her.
I feel bad taking our family away from her but we will see them at Thanksgiving and they will all be down here the day Cooper is born.
We are not telling family this. Im waitng until my check up and just telling family we are not comfy going so far from our doctor and neither is he. If we just tell them the reasons above (other then sil) they will tell us we are over reacting and will go on and on about how we should just come for the holiday. And bug us so its better if we just saw the doctor is not ok with me traveling and they will leave it alone.
I just hate not letting dd seeing her grandma and grandpa who she loves and all her cousins. Its also the first time I will not be with my family on christmas day but I just think its to much stress so close. I also told dh if he wants something other then pizza he is cooking Im realxing and playing with dd's new toys and her.
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Re: I feel bad for taking holidays away from dd
We're 2 hrs. from family too, and I've already "cancelled" Christmas. I can handle Thanksgiving hopping from house to house (hopefully) but I'm not doing the driving/visiting at 36 weeks. It could also be bad weather here at that time and we've been stuck away from home before during the holidays. I also don't want to deal with the drive and sleeping away from my bed. People are welcome to our home and I think they are being understanding.
We of course won't cancel our own Christmas celebrations at home, just some of the family interaction. I've grown to approach Christmas as a season anyways, not just a holiday that can only be celebrated on the 24th/25th.
We used to do something similar for Christmas and the last time I did that was when I was pregnant with DD. My parents got divorced when I was 4 and I HATED going all over the place on Christmas once I was old enough to appreciate getting new toys and looking forward to Santa. I swore when I had my own kids, we would stay close to home.
The first year I did this (DD was 8 months old) my family went on and on about how I was being irrational and she didn;t know what was going on at that age and they were getting "short-changed" since DH's family is local. I told them it was our decision and it was our new family tradition. Now they have Christmas Eve at home and they drive the 2 hours on Christmas Day to spend it with us and my stepmom and I go shopping the day after Christmas.
You just have to put your foot down - you know what is best and I bet DD will love being at home! I wouldn;t make the drive either - I will be 37 weeks Christmas weekend and my plan is to make something super easy and relax in my pjs!
I understand. I was stressing over the same thing for our Christmas this year. Our families are only about an hour and a half away, but I just don't want to deal with all the traveling and stress (even though I love my family, get-togethers are never really that relaxing with a 2 year old), so my family has all agreed to come to our house for our family Christmas this year! I'm so excited and grateful. We always just have it on a random day and everyone brings appetizers. It's very casual and fun.
We haven't figured out what we're doing with DH's family. I know MIL will throw a fit if we ask them to come here as well (on a different date). DH will either take DD without me, or we'll see if they want to do it a little earlier so I can go. However, I kind of like the idea of DH taking DD without me. Sitting home and watching movies sounds like a fun, personal Christmas present for me!
Last year we decided that we would not ever travel on Christmas Day. Not a problem with my family, but DH's always does lunch and a gift exchange. Staying home with DD last year is one of my favorite family memories so far. We took our time to open presents with DD, had a fun breakfast (ebelskivers!), playing with DD's new toys, and then DH and I snuggled on the couch and watched a movie during her nap. It was great!
I told dh he should just go and I will stay home to relax. But he does not want to be that far away from with no one really here if something were to happen. Plus he kind of just wants to stay home and relax. We will be at family Dec 11th for dd's birthday party so she will get to see everyone then. And someone from our family will be here Dec 4th so we can drive 2 hrs to his works Christmas dinner. So she will see who ever comes for that. So she will get to see all her family around the hoildays. Just not like normal. Im sure she also does not remember what went on last year so she may not even know that she is missing out.